I'm Crazy :-(

[BabyyBlues]

long story short. Or short story long whatever. I have a sort of imaginary friend. He is inbetween being a hallucination and being an imaginary friend. He is the only thing that keeps me happy when I'm upset. Who is he? Well he's a toddler. He always wears blue footie pajamas and he has adorable blue eyes and blonde hair. He is like my real child. I sort of created him on accident by obsessing over wanting a baby. I turned around one day and there he was. I call him baby. He came to me as a one year old. I don't talk to him out loud unless I'm completely alone. I usually speak to him using my mind or as I like to call it, "thinking" to him. He doesn't know that he's "not real" yet. I believe that hallucinations are the result of another realm intertwining with ours. I guess Baby got stuck in our world. I don't even know if this hallucination will ever grow up or anything I just know I love him and it makes me sad I can't share him with the world. Am I crazy? Any similar problems?

 

[nowwhat]

Nah, you know you created him and that he's an hallucination. Sounds like you're still in the driver's seat, and have the sense not to converse freely in public. Sounds sane to me. Odd, maybe, but totally normal people are so boring they make me suicidal.

 

[Gritches]

Hello, BabyyBlues. You're not crazy, but you may have a disorder called Schizophrenia. Usually when hallucinations are involved, it is the result of Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia almost always appears in early adulthood, though it can occur at any age. Hallucinations can occur outside the realm of Schizophrenia, but I can pretty much guarantee that's what a mental health professional would say. I can't say anything for sure, but this is my opinion. If you don't seek help now, please seek help if Baby ever tells you to hurt yourself or anyone else; a regular Emergency Room can help you. Best of luck.

 

[NeoPhile]

Welcome to Aspies Central! We have cookies!
This just sounds like harmless fanticization. You're probably not crazy. Schizophrenics actually believe their hallucinations are real and can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. That doesn't sound like you.

 

[nowwhat]

Welcome to Aspies Central! We have cookies!
This just sounds like harmless fanticization. You're probably not crazy. Schizophrenics actually believe their hallucinations are real and can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. That doesn't sound like you.

Yeah what I said, but without the education. Heh.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

He is inbetween being a hallucination and being an imaginary friend.

How do you mean, "inbetween"? Do you literally see a baby?

I've been treated for psychosis for the last two years so I've dealt with certain types of hallucinations including hearing voices, I know a fair bit about AS and psychotic experiences.

Autism is linked to a slightly higher chance of suffering psychosis than the rest of the population. So it doesn't mean you a schizophreniform condition. But there have been numerous people diagnosed with having psychotic experiences when in fact they just have Asperger's just because of that language barrier in explanation so I would like to know exactly what you mean.

Hallucinations aren't as strange as you might think. 1 in 4 of us will experience them on a daily basis in the most common form of colours when trying to sleep or when we wake up. This is called hypnagogia. But we also like to think that we experience everything from our senses in their true form when in fact everything we experience is just our mind's interpretation of reality. Past experiences are a big factor on how we understand what we are currently hearing or seeing. Have a look at this video and also this one too.

 

[toothless]

you are what ever you want to be,i wouldnt personally call you crazy; that is a word that isnt helpful for you whether you were mentally ill or not, i think its an imaginary friend as you were so desperate to have a baby.
you do not have schizophrenia like one person said,schizophrenia is a very complex condition with a lot more to it than a halucination and during a crisis you are always unaware that what you see isnt the reality,until specialists spend a long time treating you and you accept what they say.
i have the exact presentation of paranoid schizophrenia,i scored highly on clinical tests for schizophrenia given by a shrink but becuause i had learned some awareness via the internet they just diagnosed me with pyschosis instead, according to my old gp it had been caused by very long term untreated severe clinical depression.

 

[OkRad]

This is why I have trouble after my brain injury. I am not suffering halluciantaiton etc,. but not being able to recgonize what was before. Perception and so forth. I have had to engage in Radical Trust of family to make sure I am not off.

 

[OkRad]

How do you mean, "inbetween"? Do you literally see a baby?

I've been treated for psychosis for the last two years so I've dealt with certain types of hallucinations including hearing voices, I know a fair bit about AS and psychotic experiences.

Autism is linked to a slightly higher chance of suffering psychosis than the rest of the population. So it doesn't mean you a schizophreniform condition. But there have been numerous people diagnosed with having psychotic experiences when in fact they just have Asperger's just because of that language barrier in explanation so I would like to know exactly what you mean.

Hallucinations aren't as strange as you might think. 1 in 4 of us will experience them on a daily basis in the most common form of colours when trying to sleep or when we wake up. This is called hypnagogia. But we also like to think that we experience everything from our senses in their true form when in fact everything we experience is just our mind's interpretation of reality. Past experiences are a big factor on how we understand what we are currently hearing or seeing. Have a look at this video and also this one too.

Wow! "The truth is that the whole fabric of our knowledge is one matted felt of pure hypothesis confirmed and refined by induction..............."

That is amazing. I am in the place where I am no longer sure how to confirm the hypothesis. Those are based in memory and years of doing it. Brain injury=loss of memory=scary.........

 

[Judge]

Kind of reminds me of a John Wayne film, "Blood Alley".

His character had an imaginary friend as well, named "Baby". But like the OP, he knew she wasn't real. He deliberately invented her for his own comfort.

I suspect a schizophrenic wouldn't be able to make such a distinction.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

have the exact presentation of paranoid schizophrenia,i scored highly on clinical tests for schizophrenia given by a shrink but becuause i had learned some awareness via the internet they just diagnosed me with pyschosis instead

They thought I had schizophrenia too, but in the early mid stages I became self aware of some of my thoughts. Sort of turned it inside out so I couldn't tell if any of my unusual thoughts were legitimately unusual or not. A mind**** really!

But my first psychiatrist concluded that I actually just had Asperger's and did not have a psychotic presentation. Unfortunately I'm now on my third psychiatrist in two years because they keep pissing off so they all have to have their own thoughts and opinions.

 

[toothless]

They thought I had schizophrenia too, but in the early mid stages I became self aware of some of my thoughts. Sort of turned it inside out so I couldn't tell if any of my unusual thoughts were legitimately unusual or not. A mind**** really!

But my first psychiatrist concluded that I actually just had Asperger's and did not have a psychotic presentation. Unfortunately I'm now on my third psychiatrist in two years because they keep pissing off so they all have to have their own thoughts and opinions.

hi southern discomfort,hope your having a good day in this warmish UK weather.
are you seeing the shrinks who are part of social services teams or is it a regular NHS shrink?
if its the social services,i have had that experience with pyscholgists since i joined the learning disability team at 18,they regulary leave and it takes months to get a new one then finally get an appointment,the only one who has stayed is the consultant pyschologist and ive known him since 18 but didnt process him or interact with him until around 25, he is an aspie and related a lot to me,best kind of shrink you can get,i wish you could have had him, his name is steve hendy; ive just found him on google- https://uk.linkedin.com/in/steve-hendy-a089803b

 

[Southern Discomfort]

are you seeing the shrinks who are part of social services teams or is it a regular NHS shrink?

Hey, no I'm not seeing any therapists or psychotherapists. I'm under the Early Intervention for Psychosis Service. I've got a psychiatrist and a care coordinator. My second "psychiatrist" was a psychologist. Not sure what he was doing in that position because he wasn't the best in my opinion. This new one seems okay but I'm concerned he might be a bit inexperienced and not as cautious as my first; I agreed to start taking aripiprazole, starting at 10 mg and then going up to 20 mg in about a month or two's time if everything is okay still. The maximum dose is 30 mg for reference sake. So he clearly doesn't follow the 'start low, go slow' approach to drugs like my first one did - wish he never left.

 

[toothless]

Hey, no I'm not seeing any therapists or psychotherapists. I'm under the Early Intervention for Psychosis Service. I've got a psychiatrist and a care coordinator. My second "psychiatrist" was a psychologist. Not sure what he was doing in that position because he wasn't the best in my opinion. This new one seems okay but I'm concerned he might be a bit inexperienced and not as cautious as my first; I agreed to start taking aripiprazole, starting at 10 mg and then going up to 20 mg in about a month or two's time if everything is okay still. The maximum dose is 30 mg for reference sake. So he clearly doesn't follow the 'start low, go slow' approach to drugs like my first one did - wish he never left.

wow,starting at 10mg,now that is hardcore...and wrong!. you could end up with all sorts of side effects like acute stiffness and facial tics which i have on haloperidol, have you had any side effects from that anti pyschotic?

 

[Southern Discomfort]

have you had any side effects from that anti pyschotic?

Have I had any from aripiprazole yet? It was hard sleeping on the first night because nobody told me when to take the damn things. So I switched to mornings. I'm only on the second dose right now. So far though everything is okay.

He did say that aripiprazole is a really clean antipsychotic though, cleaner than risperidone is. So hopefully any side effects I get will only be temporary and will go away in the next two weeks.

I'm hoping I'm going to be able to sleep tonight properly. I did last night but I effectively skipped a dose in order to shift it around to taking it in the morning. Hoping a 12 hour gap between dosing is going to let me sleep too.

 

[Inator]

I am seeing this drawn demon that looks at me since I was 10 years old, so I guess I have been hallucinating for exactly half of my life. I see him on any kind of surfaces, walls, ceilings, curtains, papers, hair, etc. He doesn't talk, and most of the time doesn't move. Thank God he doesn't talk though, I'd rather be dead than tolerating that kind of ********. But what is its worst issue? not only it was the main cause for my panic attacks during early teenhood (until being 12 or 13 years old), nowadays whenever I see him "by surprise", I get the same kind of reaction when looking to NTs to the eyes. It does add extra unnecessary frustration, and the more unfair I think it is, the extra frustrated I feel too. It's like a multiplier, meant specifically just to be the cherry of the cake. Will I have a rest? certainly no, BUT... I have to admit it has helped some more to look to NTs eyes better.
Believe it or not though, he has only begun to sloooowly disappear some more as I smoke more marijuana. He reappears strongly DURING the effect (but I'm too stoned to remotely care about him), and when the effect is done he disappears for some time.

Now, as far as medication goes, none else I have drank has ever helped to my hallucinations more than the marijuana. All pills I had were for controlling my early panic attacks, but that was just the symptom, not the cause. My latest psychiatrist told me to take 0.5mg of Risperidone every night, I guess to control my emotions some more, and the diasis is increasing. But I begun to secretely drop them, as I fear it would limit my creativity, and make me look worse than I am lol. Besides I never met true-true love yet (not sure) and this pill just makes my chances fall even lower (to be realistic, being prejudicial at the physic seems like a natural thing by now).

 

[DiverseWonderland]

long story short. Or short story long whatever. I have a sort of imaginary friend. He is inbetween being a hallucination and being an imaginary friend. He is the only thing that keeps me happy when I'm upset. Who is he? Well he's a toddler. He always wears blue footie pajamas and he has adorable blue eyes and blonde hair. He is like my real child. I sort of created him on accident by obsessing over wanting a baby. I turned around one day and there he was. I call him baby. He came to me as a one year old. I don't talk to him out loud unless I'm completely alone. I usually speak to him using my mind or as I like to call it, "thinking" to him. He doesn't know that he's "not real" yet. I believe that hallucinations are the result of another realm intertwining with ours. I guess Baby got stuck in our world. I don't even know if this hallucination will ever grow up or anything I just know I love him and it makes me sad I can't share him with the world. Am I crazy? Any similar problems?

"Yes I'm afraid so your entirely Bonkers but i'll tell you a secret...all the best people are"-Alice in wonderland

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

i feel the same way when laughing heavily at something inappropriately amusing,during my verbal outbursts or when i'm about to do or say something behaviorally stupid.