I’m Dying Soon

[KevinMao133]

Just have this feeling I’m dying soon

I can already see the end, the end that isn’t pretty

I don’t have the patience because I don’t have enough time

A lot of the times it’s now or never, do or die

It’s hard to know what the future holds when present day life isn’t even controllable

 

[Neonatal RRT]

@KevinMao133

Could you explain a bit further,...perhaps we can help you understand what you're going through.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Sorry to hear you are unhappy.

 

[KevinMao133]

@KevinMao133

Could you explain a bit further,...perhaps we can help you understand what you're going through.

impossible to anything, not that I want to

do anyways, it’s between suffering from body image issues, having ridiculous expectations and dealing with outside noise

 

[Aspychata]

Oh boy. This post hit home with me. Woke up from a dream of my two deceased cats that l love dearly. They were together looking at me saying with their cat eyes they were waiting for me. So sweet and sad at the same time.

 

[All-Rounder]

Just have this feeling I’m dying soon

I can already see the end, the end that isn’t pretty

I don’t have the patience because I don’t have enough time

A lot of the times it’s now or never, do or die

It’s hard to know what the future holds when present day life isn’t even controllable

It sounds to me like you're getting through panic. Panic is terrible especially when it's extreme. I sometimes got panic attacks, full blown with breathing issues when my emotions got out of hand and I had too many things to deal with in the moment so I needed to just go away from the person who was expecting lots from me triggering me to expect too much from myself and calm my mind.

The fear of death is at the core of all human fears. Everything naturally leads to that instinctive force which is meant to protect us, however in today's world there's no tiger chasing after us to eat us like in caveman times, paleolithic age. Nowadays we get scared of things that aren't supposed to kill us anymore. It's a leftover mechanism that has not evolved along as the world actually did.

Our fears are very real and intense, even if we're not in immediate danger, we can feel like we're going to die.

I hope this struggle will lessen for you and that you find a way to decrease the stressors in your life, and deal with the expectations of others and yourself.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

impossible to anything, not that I want to

do anyways, it’s between suffering from body image issues, having ridiculous expectations and dealing with outside noise

I am sad to hear that. When I felt isolated, unnoticed and unwanted, I had both body image issues and self concept issues. I understand now that these were distortions stemming from my ASD. For me this led to PTSD. I hope that you will seek therapy before that happens to you. I hope that you can see your potential beyond the expectations that may be driving you.

 

[Suzanne]

I felt that I was not going to reach my 40th day and I was so surprised to wake up to 40 year's old and now I am sadly, 52! I so glad I was wrong lol

I take vitamin b12 and it regulates my moods to the extent, that I almost forgot how I was before ie fluctuating between sad and happy, on a daily basis.

My faith is also a huge support system for me.

 

[KevinMao133]

I am sad to hear that. When I felt isolated, unnoticed and unwanted, I had both body image issues and self concept issues. I understand now that these were distortions stemming from my ASD. For me this led to PTSD. I hope that you will seek therapy before that happens to you. I hope that you can see your potential beyond the expectations that may be driving you.

might not happen. Expectations from people around me, expectations as a man. I feel like people are taking advantage of who I am. They don’t care about me as a person, they never will

 

[Aspychata]

might not happen. Expectations from people around me, expectations as a man. I feel like people are taking advantage of who I am. They don’t care about me as a person, they never will

Sometimes this exact thought rattles around in my brain. Are we really appreciatived? It is tough not to ponder this.

 

[KevinMao133]

Sometimes this exact thought rattles around in my brain. Are we really appreciatived? It is tough not ponder this.

the harder I work, the less likely I feel satisfied, the more I want to get better. At the same time it‘s impossible for me to not work hard. I’m doomed for life

 

[Owliet]

the harder I work, the less likely I feel satisfied, the more I want to get better. At the same time it‘s impossible for me to not work hard. I’m doomed for life

Do you have access to support?

I felt that I was not going to reach my 40th day and I was so surprised to wake up to 40 year's old and now I am sadly, 52! I so glad I was wrong lol

This is how I have long felt. I didn’t think I’d reach 16 but I did. I didn’t think id reach 25 but somehow I did. And onward to being surprised to reach 30. I am quite surprised that I reach certain points and Realize that even though I’ve wanted to die to make things better for myself, I’m also relieved that I have not given into the impulse and stubbornly holding on.

 

[All-Rounder]

might not happen. Expectations from people around me, expectations as a man. I feel like people are taking advantage of who I am. They don’t care about me as a person, they never will

Lots of people do that. Lots of people have taken advantage of me and lots will still try.

The world's getting unhealthy and the less intelligent take the lead at breeding.

 

[KevinMao133]

Lots of people do that. Lots of people have taken advantage of me and lots will still try.

The world's getting unhealthy and the less intelligent take the lead at breeding.

agreed. That’s why it’s important to take ownership of our lives and not be pawns to the game

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

might not happen. Expectations from people around me, expectations as a man. I feel like people are taking advantage of who I am. They don’t care about me as a person, they never will

If they do not care, then their expectations or the idea of what it means to be a man is meaningless. Forge your own path. Doing so for me had more positives than negatives.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Do you have access to support?

This is how I have long felt. I didn’t think I’d reach 16 but I did. I didn’t think id reach 25 but somehow I did. And onward to being surprised to reach 30. I am quite surprised that I reach certain points and Realize that even though I’ve wanted to die to make things better for myself, I’m also relieved that I have not given into the impulse and stubbornly holding on.

Exactly! Most of life is just showing up. Is that good or bad?