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I'm feeling done with life

T

Tarliki

Member
I've been feeling that way for quite a while but I've reached a point where it has never felt more bleak and morose. I suffer from not only depression, anxiety, autism, dyslexia, speech disorders, etc. but also severe OCD, mental instability and other genetic defects being born from incest and ive felt like a failure my entire life. I have no friends and have never had a single friend in my life, ive been expelled from every social venue I tried to fit in, whether from Wrqngplanet on ******** reasons, or from a mental health support group I used to be a part of whereby I was expelled because of false allegations of sexual harassment that were maliciously fabricated against me, and right now in my own life I feel at rock bottom. I'm on medications so heavy I'm practically inert, lethargic and weak like an old man when im only 24, ive injured my back to the point where I can't work, I haven't finished college, and quite frankly I feel too empty to live anymore.

This all feels too much for me. I can't take this anymore. I've been to the mental hospital so many times its unbearable. Im ugly, no one loves me, and no one will ever love me.

EDIT: Before I got kicked off Wrongplanet (which happened within 1 week of me joining the forum) I made a thread expressing my despair and agony and reaching out for support and empathy and instead I got jerks, bullies and hurtful people telling me im just trying to feel sorry for myself, I don't want to change, and all that hurtful invalidating garbage. It was very hurtful that the one time I tried to reach out for help I got rebuffed rudely and scoffed at. Please no one do that here. Please none of that "tough love" BS, none of that "being real" excuse to be an inconsiderate prick and jerk, and any of that nonsense being mean or hurtful to me. I suffer enough low self esteem, rudeness and jerks in my life as it is so please the last thing I expect from this forum is the same toxicity and cancer I got from Wrongplanet.
 
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I'm sorry that Wrongplanet responded that way. I've never been there, but I've heard mostly negative things about it.

You've been through a lot and are still going through a lot, and you've survived. You should be proud of yourself for that.

Do you see a therapist? It can be difficult to find a good therapist. Sometimes you have to hunt for one. It's worth it.

Your life has the capability to transform, to do a 180. You have the potential for that whether it seems possible to you or not. That potential is something you possess and can hold on it. It's hope. It sounds like you've lost hope. Suffering does that to us.

You should continue coming here. A lot of people here can relate to your struggles. You're not alone.

Welcome, Tarliki!
 
Wrongplanet is one of the sorriest possible places for mental health support. Welcome to the good place, neighbor.

I have felt entirely done with life before. You & I are just about the exact same age, too, which is funny. Got an idea. Tell us some of the coolest things about you. The stuff that you like, that you enjoy even though you think people would laugh at you. There's a lot of people who might enjoy seeing the real you including yourself, Tarliki. The you who is more than the diseases, disorders, depression, and the slander of others.

So let's hear it, when you get a chance. I don't know you but it sounds like you've lived quite a lot of life in 24 years. Fill us in.
 
Gerontius said:
Wrongplanet is one of the sorriest possible places for mental health support. Welcome to the good place, neighbor.

I have felt entirely done with life before. You & I are just about the exact same age, too, which is funny. Got an idea. Tell us some of the coolest things about you. The stuff that you like, that you enjoy even though you think people would laugh at you. There's a lot of people who might enjoy seeing the real you including yourself, Tarliki. The you who is more than the diseases, disorders, depression, and the slander of others.

So let's hear it, when you get a chance. I don't know you but it sounds like you've lived quite a lot of life in 24 years. Fill us in.
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There isn't much interesting about me. I'm an inbred, intellectually impaired, mentally retarded weirdo who struggles to read, struggles to think, struggles to do 99% of what normal people do. I dont even say this to feel sorry for myself or garner pity. There is NOTHING interesting or worth loving about myself.

Im a huge fan of Avatar, Disney, UFC, Pixar, but otherwise there's nothing to my name or self that is worth remembering.
 
Those are some cool interests. Did your parents fill your head with negative self-image?

Welcome here. We are very accepting and very supportive people. We try to be very understanding and l really enjoy reading other people's struggles because it shows we all struggle.
 
Tarliki said:
ive been expelled from every social venue I tried to fit in, whether from Wrqngplanet
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Ugh, I swear, that blasted place is no end of trouble.

Seriously, dont listen to any of the idiots in that place. It's a very deceptive site... claims to help many, but ends up alienating most. Whatever they said to you, ignore it. It's not worth the braincells that it takes to process whatever garbage they threw at you.

Instead of that nonsense, why not make some friends here? This is a good place to do that. We dont have jerks or bullies here.

Tarliki said:
There is NOTHING interesting or worth loving about myself
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We hear this a lot around here... it's a fairly common problem.

I can assure you it is also incorrect, believe it or not.

Tarliki said:
ive injured my back to the point where I can't work
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For what it's worth, I sympathize with this one. There was no injury for me... just inherent problems. I experience what I call "lock ups"... first one happened when I was about your age and I ended up on the floor, unable to get up for a good while. Gotta say, not a very fun time.

Out of curiosity, have you ever tried physical therapy? It wont necessarily CURE the problem (often surgery is necessary for that) but holy heck does it help. Dont know what I'd do without them, really.


Anyway, stick around here and make some friends. Heck, talk with me if you want. Or whoever.
 
Firstly, don't feel bad AT ALL about getting booted from Wrong Planet. I got kicked off for no reason as well, and I've known, and heard of PLENTY of others who that's happened too. Idk what it is over there, but that place is like an a-hole magnet. So trust me, don't take that as a mark against your character. Also, is there anyone, and I mean ANYONE who you feel safe going to for support? I'd hate to think of you going through with thoughts like that. This may sound like a nauseating platitude, but as bad as things are right now, believe me when I say, that things don't have to stay bad. If you need someone to private message about this, feel free to do so!!
 
This is the only forum I've been on since my diagnosis in my 50's.
I've heard a lot of negative remarks about WrongPlanet. A lot of people who were there are here now
and found such a difference.

Welcome here, Tarliki.
I think you'll see a great difference and find a community here that cares.
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You have my sympathies, Tarliki. I actually saw your review of Avatar and it’s very snappy as well as well crafted! I wish I could write a review like it but I get writer’s block easily.

Do you live in a rough family environment? It sounds like they bring you down.
 
Welcome! You are a survivor and very brave human being. I think you have found a friendly place here.

I am not very good with emotional supoort, so I will tell you something "funny" about myself.

When I was in my lowest times, I found myself wondering a lot about dogs. They are not as intelligent as I am, but they manage to get loved by many humans. I was shocked at that fact. Any dog of the world has better human skills than me.

So I found myself thinking "What would a dog do in this situation?". So I ended just helping others with something. Small things I guess. Washing the dishes, getting things clean, whatever that could add value to others.

Today I am in a much better posittion, but I still find myself thinking a lot in how would a dog do in this sittuation. I guess I would sit close to you, and listen to what you have to say and try to find ways of helping you.

I really hope you can make some friends here, I have just been about a week here, but I can tell this forum is full of great human beings.

Please do feel welcome.
 
Working through thinking that too.

Need to work on new bucket list. Maybe you could too.

First thing on my list.
Arm the chickens!!:p
 
Thanks everyone for your support. It meant a lot to me, so much so that after not opening this forum until now reading the influx of kind messages from everyone here, from @Markness to @Gracey to @Knit Hat, I feel gratitude and overwhelming warmths to have such support here. To answer some of the questions that popped up:

My mom and dad are supportive, my siblings are a mixed bag. My brother can be supportive but he can also be too tough, overbearing and snappy. I dont talk to one of my sisters. other siblings live out of state.

I do have a therapist, who's helped me a ton, but is struggling to help me with some of the more challenging mental health symptoms.

I have no friends barring an one autistic guy who is usually not in the mood to talk or do anything, and my mental health issues are so bad and embarrassing even with medicine and therapy I still feel like im prone to mental health episodes that land me in the hospital

I actually was reminded by one of the posters to try physical therapy, so thank you I will schedule that right now.
 
Tarliki said:
I actually was reminded by one of the posters to try physical therapy, so thank you I will schedule that right now.
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Just a fair warning about this one:

Be prepared for some difficulty with this one. PT can be hard. And there will likely be times when it feels like the "cure" hurts worse than the problem.

But if you keep up with it... and, in particular, if you properly do the "homework" exercises the therapist gives to you... over time you'll find that it gets better and better, the pain gets lessened, and the individual therapy sessions get easier.

I'm just pointing this out so you know what to expect. PT aint easy, but it's worth it. Dont expect a super quick fix though. This stuff takes time.
 
Welcome! I hope you find support here.
 
Hiya, @Tarliki! :) I don't like conflict and bullying either. I'm new here and found there's lots of friendly, helpful, fun people here. It's not that common to have such a friendly, safe online place - much of the Internet is a cesspit, with people arguing and being insulting and negative, pushing opinions and not listening to others, etc etc. But sometimes an online community works, and then that's a wonderful thing - people from all around the world able to chat, brainstorm, tell stories, etc etc. :cool:
 
I can say that been in wrongplanet and I was by one week my nickname that used that time was too disturbing to the audience and they didn't treated me fine just I found like things were wrong, didn't fit in that community and also I was in a time of my life where my mental health was so unstable that preferred leave that place.

About yourself I empathize since I have and struggle with certain troubles that will not mention but are serious enough as keep me busy and visiting doctors and so on so understand everything.

Best regards

Aspie1w
 
Tarliki said:
Thanks everyone for your support. It meant a lot to me, so much so that after not opening this forum until now reading the influx of kind messages from everyone here, from @Markness to @Gracey to @Knit Hat, I feel gratitude and overwhelming warmths to have such support here. To answer some of the questions that popped up:

My mom and dad are supportive, my siblings are a mixed bag. My brother can be supportive but he can also be too tough, overbearing and snappy. I dont talk to one of my sisters. other siblings live out of state.

I do have a therapist, who's helped me a ton, but is struggling to help me with some of the more challenging mental health symptoms.

I have no friends barring an one autistic guy who is usually not in the mood to talk or do anything, and my mental health issues are so bad and embarrassing even with medicine and therapy I still feel like im prone to mental health episodes that land me in the hospital

I actually was reminded by one of the posters to try physical therapy, so thank you I will schedule that right now.
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You're quite welcome! I'm very glad to hear that we could all be of help, and that you've finally found a place where you feel comfortable, and at home:)
 
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