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I'm never wording anything right anymore. Everything sounds like I don't care.

L

Lerena

Well-Known Member
While I've always struggled in social situations and the like, I am now having trouble getting my point across without sounding considerate and understanding of everyone else. Because of everything that has been going on in my life, I fear that I have lost two of my closest friends thanks to factors that may not just be Asperger's Syndrome.

Asperger's makes it especially difficult for me to say the right things even when I know the appropriate way to act. All I'm doing is making everything worse and I just want to fix things with these friends of mine. However, no matter what I say it comes across as me not caring or me being too heartless and selfish.

One of these friends says I'm not even worth forgiving, another agrees with him. I'm scared that I will never be able to trust men again. The closest friend I had, and actually dated, says I'm not worth forgiving and I'm sadly still in love with him. So many things I've done and so many things I feel unable to fix on my own.

Please, I want to fix everything. Can you guys help me sound sincere? I'm afraid at this point I'll just sound fake and whiny. Thing is, I also suffer from depression, and I'm waiting on my full evaluation so my condition is thoroughly analyzed. Once I find out what I'm really struggling with, I may find out that I suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, schizophrenia, and Tourettes (maybe) in addition to my Asperger's. These things are NOT official yet; it's just something my counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists have looked into.

My family is worried and I'm worried about myself. I just want to be loved and I just want to sound like I really care because I really really do. I just struggle with saying the right things.
 
I'd wait until you get clarification on your full evaluation. I know it is difficult, my partner struggles with chronic depression and that should be the focus. Once you get that to a tolerable level, only then would I try to fix relationships.

As far as not wording anything right, I can definitely relate to that myself. I've never had problems covering my AS symptoms at work until recently. I seem to be upsetting almost everyone I talk to. I've recently been reprimanded for the way I come across, even though I've been told I was correct in my words and actions. This has happened with recent phone conversations with co-workers that almost resulted in my receiving another reprimand. So I to can relate to the depression as well. On my end, I know I've been extremely stressed and tired and have not been able to really calm myself from being over-stimulated and feel over socialized. I have been told that these accusers are in the wrong and trying to cause conflict, but I know my mental/emotional state may leave me with less ability to control my bluntness. I'm trying to relax some before taking on any further conflict/chaos.

Hang in there. I'm sure you'll get things worked out.
 
I'll take your advice. And secondly, everything has been worked out. I'm still a bit out of balance. Emails from this site have been sent to my junk folder. I didn't really notice this until recently.
 
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