Hello, let me introduce myself. I am in my mid-50's. When I was about 7 or 8 I was diagnosed with something called "perceptual disorder", which I was told meant that the way I see things is not the way things really are. I was then subjected to intensive behavior modification, segregated special education, and drugs (including one that made me temporarily psychotic) in an attempt to "cure" me, before being thrown back out into the "normal" world. There were absolutely no attempts made to understand or to accomodate any sensory issues I was experiencing. (Sensory issues? What sensory issues? The world is not here to cater to you! Suck it up!) Meanwhile, it was also made very clear that my "problem" was not to be discussed or mentioned; it was an embarrassing stigma that everyone hoped would go away.
So I struggled along for decades, having to learn everything the hard and often cruel way (which is a great way to develop a sense of empathy in a person who by nature has problems with the concept). My current primary care physician (I live in the US) said that she knew the moment I first walked in her office that I have Aspergers but that I hide it very, very well. I have been employed for many many years in a demanding and stressful job that again does not provide any accommodation for my "disability" because officially I don't have one. I am expected to be like everyone else.
How did I come to find out I have Asperger's? It was through reading Dr. Temple Grandin's books. They just seemed to make sense. Why no one ever raised the possibility that I was on the autistic spectrum I have no idea. I had many of the classic symptoms from infancy onward but for some reason nobody raised the A-word. I grew up in a city with a state university that offered degrees in special education, there was a state psychiatric hospital in town and several schools dealing with children who were out of the mainstream, plus we were only a few hours' drive from one of the leading medical schools in the country, so it was not like we lived in a backwater. I guess I will never know. Maybe my parents did not have the knowledge and skills it takes to battle the medical establishment and so they meekly accepted what the "authorities" said.
So here I am, middle-aged, and if you don't know anything about my shameful past and you don't look too closely (most people don't), you would say that I am successful. And I won't contradict you on it. Because what you see is a carefully constructed image. What you won't see is what that image has cost me.
So I struggled along for decades, having to learn everything the hard and often cruel way (which is a great way to develop a sense of empathy in a person who by nature has problems with the concept). My current primary care physician (I live in the US) said that she knew the moment I first walked in her office that I have Aspergers but that I hide it very, very well. I have been employed for many many years in a demanding and stressful job that again does not provide any accommodation for my "disability" because officially I don't have one. I am expected to be like everyone else.
How did I come to find out I have Asperger's? It was through reading Dr. Temple Grandin's books. They just seemed to make sense. Why no one ever raised the possibility that I was on the autistic spectrum I have no idea. I had many of the classic symptoms from infancy onward but for some reason nobody raised the A-word. I grew up in a city with a state university that offered degrees in special education, there was a state psychiatric hospital in town and several schools dealing with children who were out of the mainstream, plus we were only a few hours' drive from one of the leading medical schools in the country, so it was not like we lived in a backwater. I guess I will never know. Maybe my parents did not have the knowledge and skills it takes to battle the medical establishment and so they meekly accepted what the "authorities" said.
So here I am, middle-aged, and if you don't know anything about my shameful past and you don't look too closely (most people don't), you would say that I am successful. And I won't contradict you on it. Because what you see is a carefully constructed image. What you won't see is what that image has cost me.
