I’m Not A Flirty Person

[KevinMao133]

I just realized a big issue I’m having: I do not know how to talk to a woman

Due to being an introvert as well as non flirty, simply put, I am incapable of flirting without sounding like a creep

I try my best to treat women like people but the problem is I am friendly towards everyone, I treat everybody like brothers

I value practicality over emotional needs, like I do not value emotions at all

Anyways, I am not sure how I can improve my skills. I will always be socially awkward and that’s something, no matter how hard I work, will never get better

Sometimes I wonder if I’m gay or not as I have an easy time with guys

I wish more women can understand this, instead of expecting every single of us to be super social, super flirty and super good with interactions

 

[Judge]

I wish more women can understand this, instead of expecting every single of us to be super social, super flirty and super good with interactions

My own personal impression of introverted women was that most of them don't share those expectations or values.

 

[KevinMao133]

My own personal impression of introverted women was that most of them don't share those expectations or values.

Problem is most women I know are extroverted

I don’t speak much in public. I’m afraid of being judged and tend to keep it to my life

I also have no idea how to initiate conversations with women. Somehow, that’s not a problem with guys

 

[Judge]

Problem is most women I know are extroverted

So what's keeping you from approaching introverted women?

The ones who aren't talking so much and aren't standing out socially much of anywhere. Who might actually relate to your own reticence to engage in conversing with them. Which might just enhance not only her comfort level, but your own in the process.

You have nothing to lose by trying.

 

[KevinMao133]

So what's keeping you from approaching introverted women?

The ones who aren't talking so much and aren't standing out socially much of anywhere. Who might actually relate to your own reticence to engage in conversing with them. Which might just enhance not only her comfort level, but your own in the process.

You have nothing to lose by trying.

Well I don’t see introverted women

They don’t go out

I try to strike up conversations with everybody I meet but there is only so much I can do

 

[Judge]

Well I don’t see introverted women

They don’t go out

I try to strike up conversations with everybody I meet but there is only so much I can do

Try seeking them out passively. Make observations about them before considering engaging them in conversations. Again, you have nothing to lose by trying.

You know you won't likely find them in the typical social settings of extroverts. But not all of them necessarily remain at home either. You just have to work smarter in figuring out where they are.

If you are introverted as you claim, you may in fact be wasting your time pursuing extroverted women, who are probably looking for their own social counterparts.

I'm an introvert, and I can't imagine attempting to pursue a relationship with an extroverted woman. Though I've enjoyed being a platonic friend to a few of them.

 

[KevinMao133]

Try seeking them out passively. Make observations about them before considering engaging them in conversations. Again, you have nothing to lose by trying.

You know you won't likely find them in the typical social settings of extroverts. But not all of them necessarily remain at home either. You just have to work smarter in figuring out where they are.

If you are introverted as you claim, you may in fact be wasting your time pursuing extroverted women, who are probably looking for their own social counterparts.

I guess I have to talk to them more

Biggest obstacle for me is having to battle inner demons. I self loathe a lot, and as a result, I struggle with health issues

 

[Judge]

I guess I have to talk to them more

Definitely with an introvert. When you have to take control of a conversation to get them to slowly open up. But knowing that your comfort zone socially will likely be elevated if you encounter someone who may be even more introverted than you. A chance to "level the playing field" that is otherwise so stressful for us introverts.

Was Rocky Balboa an extrovert? I don't think so. And Adrian? She was quite introverted. Fictional characters, but I thought this scene was terribly realistic for a lot of people. Tough for both of them, but for somewhat different reasons.

Maybe there's an "Adrian" out there for you. But yes, the search will be tougher. Yet at the same time, interacting with her may be easier for you. And for them, they may be quietly thinking, "My God, someone finally finds me interesting!"

 

[FayetheAspie]

As a woman I can verify that not every woman likes a flirt. I find guys who are super flirty annoying at best and just want an excuse to get far away from them. This is coming from one who does not really consider herself an introvert.