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Im sad and want to go home.

lovely_darlingprettybaby

lovely_darlingprettybaby

Well-Known Member
My head, body and heart hurts so much.
I am grieving and feel so lost.
I want to feel like God loves me and wants good for me.
Please send prayers, good vibes and any beautiful pictures that cheer me up.
 
I am also wondering what you mean by "go home."

Here's a cute picture for you. I think you like animals.
R.06eb5018db0691c4fb991c58a1b267b2
 
It's normal to feel lost and bewildered, and it shouldn't be a source of shame. The important thing is not to give up and try to find your way back. I'm sure you're capable of it. Seek comfort in what you love and believe in, and you'll see that it will give you a good push! I hope you can soon feel relieved from your burdens and find your path again. In the meantime, here are some cute pictures:
 

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Wishing you well.
Here are some cute hamsters that always cheer me up. this channel is full of videos of them but this one is my favourite.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
This is so very sad. What's wrong?
Click to expand...
I regret my whole life, everyone takes advantage of me and if I had a choice I would have never lived it the way I did.
It has been a huge mistake for me.
No matter what happened in my life I have made some really bad choices and wish I had of just rejected everything told to me because my family make not be perfect but at least they let me be myself and say I am beautiful and give me cards.
I am a lonely person it is my life and I do not understand anyone who would say that is normal that seems evil to me and expect you to understand and be a stoic all the time.
But if I had never chosen my life or path, I may still be lonely and sad but I still had plenty of reasons to be proud.
I passed my exams, got into a course, scored some good marks in school without any support or much help from my parents, could get coffees, go shopping, take public transport, went on practice drives and got my licence, drove a car, could touch type, looked after myself in terms of self care, did a really hard job in the centre of the city did ok with it for a while, tried tafe but found it boring, never gave up on goals or dreams or having a good and fulfilling life, was a kind and compassionate person eager to help others, read books and went to vintage cd shops and book shops, went bowling with my family as well as mini golf and sometimes on holiday with wither dad or mum. When i was about 18 I think mum took me and my brother to Queenscliff, Torquay, Warnambool and Apollo Bay.
And because I struggled a bit at times, was unwell and depressed and had childhood trauma
Now I feel like I am literally told I am an incapable vegetable, who's whole life is ruined and will never have my dreams after a life of endo issues people embarrass me about pretending it cannot happen to women or I am faking it and I am not capable of anything and no one knows the amount i have suffered what I have given up, the amount of pain And loneliness I have been.through and this isolates me further because I cannot even go to any social groups or clubs or getaways
And I have to make good decisions when I am very unwell and traumatised and apparently it all in my head.
Have never did anything normal, went to thr beach or even had a holiday in many, many years which feels a lot longer than even the amount of time
Am really unwell, get treated like I am mentally insane and see covid sick people all get the best treatment.
Have to go on Facebook and see thousands of usa people with sick issues that apparently I have to slave after the rest of my life or be their besties when we do not even think alike.
I mean what does it matter when my life is wrecked anyway and everything beautiful taken.
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
I regret my whole life, everyone takes advantage of me and if I had a choice I would have never lived it the way I did.
It has been a huge mistake for me.
No matter what happened in my life I have made some really bad choices and wish I had of just rejected everything told to me because my family make not be perfect but at least they let me be myself and say I am beautiful and give me cards.
I am a lonely person it is my life and I do not understand anyone who would say that is normal that seems evil to me and expect you to understand and be a stoic all the time.
But if I had never chosen my life or path, I may still be lonely and sad but I still had plenty of reasons to be proud.
I passed my exams, got into a course, scored some good marks in school without any support or much help from my parents, could get coffees, go shopping, take public transport, went on practice drives and got my licence, drove a car, could touch type, looked after myself in terms of self care, did a really hard job in the centre of the city did ok with it for a while, tried tafe but found it boring, never gave up on goals or dreams or having a good and fulfilling life, was a kind and compassionate person eager to help others, read books and went to vintage cd shops and book shops, went bowling with my family as well as mini golf and sometimes on holiday with wither dad or mum. When i was about 18 I think mum took me and my brother to Queenscliff, Torquay, Warnambool and Apollo Bay.
And because I struggled a bit at times, was unwell and depressed and had childhood trauma
Now I feel like I am literally told I am an incapable vegetable, who's whole life is ruined and will never have my dreams after a life of endo issues people embarrass me about pretending it cannot happen to women or I am faking it and I am not capable of anything and no one knows the amount i have suffered what I have given up, the amount of pain And loneliness I have been.through and this isolates me further because I cannot even go to any social groups or clubs or getaways
And I have to make good decisions when I am very unwell and traumatised and apparently it all in my head.
Have never did anything normal, went to thr beach or even had a holiday in many, many years which feels a lot longer than even the amount of time
Am really unwell, get treated like I am mentally insane and see covid sick people all get the best treatment.
Have to go on Facebook and see thousands of usa people with sick issues that apparently I have to slave after the rest of my life or be their besties when we do not even think alike.
I mean what does it matter when my life is wrecked anyway and everything beautiful taken.
Click to expand...
There are many things I would change if I had the chance. Yes, of course. But why? Because they made me suffer, made me feel foolish, hurt me. Yet, aren't these things a part of life? We don't exactly come into the world causing someone else's suffering, do we? When we take our first breath, isn't it a form of suffering?

We live in superficial well-being, in a constant happy ending, but isn't that just a facade? This is what we are taught! We're taught to chase beautiful things and bury the ugly ones, like in fairy tales, but life isn't a fairy tale. Be proud of your suffering, which makes you human and different from the nonexistent characters in children's tales! Be proud to exist! Be proud of your scars and regrets.

Be proud and accept them, because if you had no regrets, it would mean you spent your entire life as a spectator, how can one be proud of being a spectator to oneself? If you have regrets, it means you've mastered the stage of your life, it means you have been and are human! Accept that you fell, suffered, but don't be ashamed, because only those who stand still never fall.

Society tells us not to fall, that falling is wrong, but at the same time, it tells us to walk. How can such a grotesque paradox be staged? Can you ask a child learning to walk not to fall? Exactly. We all remain children all our lives: no one who knows how to walk, some are learning, but no one is certain of their steps, we all fall, we all get hurt, clumsy, over and over.

Living is like a child who still doesn't know how to walk, falls, stumbles, needs to learn, knows nothing about the world, and everything always seems new, but keeps getting back up!

Keep walking.
 
I have also dealt with a boatload of trauma. The most eye-opening of it was the day I was SA and PA all at the same time It both killed me and saved me. there was one night that will be ten years sometime during April. I saw my life and what was most recent to me at the time flash through my eyes. I was sure at that moment I was going to see god and never see my friends and I would be judged by the lord. These very crucial last seconds hit me. I prayed and pleaded with the lord to let me live, as I wasn't ready to die. After those seconds the two attacking me ran off. I was finally able to breathe again. As I was able to fix my clothes and return to standing I was praising god. Then all that pain hit me and it wasn't easy it had been easily been the worst pain I had felt all at once.
I was 15 years old and had no idea what had just happened to me. All I knew was that I was going to live.

As time went on my body healed but my mind regressed and seemed to be declining I could not do so many things that I used to do with ease. About six months to a year later after I had realized the weight of the situation. I tried to get the facility investigated and to get those people away from society. But it was too late. They couldn't find anything.
I was devastated, to say the least. For a bit, I thought to myself I wish they would have just killed me already But then I realized how the kingdom of heaven had saved me. If it wasn't for that I would have never experienced the life I was to have. I had a moment of clarity. So you see my life before that time was just starting to go nicely and it seemed like it was finally beginning for me and it was making sense and it was just going to be cut short if it wasn't for me being saved. Although my school knowledge intelligence was declining, my life was not over I had over time lost all I had that was making my life happy. Everything after was new and scary. After a while, i found my new path and was finally able to have that joyful feeling back with my new arc program. I know it's hard and you may feel like you have nothing or no one left, you just gotta just keep trudging on and you will find faith and hope, you need to try to trust in the process. Keep fighting to go on no matter how hard it gets or how long it takes.
 
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