Re: I'm Seeking Help Launching a Career, but Can't Find the Right Enabling Organizati
Associates, I ran the following Craigslist ad; tell me what you think of it.
Someone with World-changing Ambitions Seeks a Schmoozer
Changing the world may seem to you like an idle slogan, but if changing the world interests you, this should interest you, because that's what I intend to do. Aside from creating the world's greatest musical, I also have a plan for a vortex engine, one that could solve the world's energy problems. Aside from that, I have a method that could revolutionize contemporary punditry, abolishing the chronic pain of having to watch them talk past each other, instead of engaging in substance. Aside from all that, I've just a whole mess of business ideas that I'd love get implemented.
But, I have just one problem. For all my ambitions, I happen to lack the talent of schmoozing. As the Urban Dictionary puts it, a schmoozer is:
A person skilled in the art of ingratiating small talk -- talk that is business oriented, designed to both provide and solicit personal information but avoids overt pitching.
I ain't a schmoozer, folks; I have a tendency to be a mite too candid at times, be less than diplomatic, and insult where sweet talk would be golden. They say know your limits, and schmoozing's one o' mine.
As a result, I am looking for a schmoozer's assistance, a partner in crime, if you will. If you're an ambitious, gregarious individual that loves parties, networking, and "making friends," you'll be perfect, (and if you're telegenic to boot, you'll be superlative).
Hopefully, trekking to Southern California to seek out movers 'n shakers to wine and dine appeals to you, because it appeals to me as well. As you're already a schmoozer by nature, and per this ad's qualifications an ambitious one, this should be right up you alley, given you'd only be playing in a bigger sandbox, and with more famous and influential ones to book.
Your incentive to work with me is simple: Proximity is a prime determinant of wealth, and picking your associates is nigh the same as determining one's tax bracket. I aim to become a mover and shaker, obviously, and if you don't precisely want what I want, I'll assume hanging out in that scene must be tempting, and must at any rate be natural allies.
I'll have to examine your skill set, somehow, though, and I'll have to be able to trust you; contact me, mingle with my people, and let's see how it goes.
Compensation: This will be a partnership, a fusion of skillsets with the goal of "making it."
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Got some interestin' comments, even high praise, to say the least, but no takers. Suggestions to make a better ad? Recommendations for a better fishing pond? I want to succeed, and am seeking ideas to do so.
