I'm starting to view Special Interests as a Need

[Nervous Rex]

I'm still trying to understand myself and I'm starting to think that having a special interest is more of a need than just a want or a like.

For a long time, I thought my anxiety was tied to my own perception of my performance. If I felt like I Accomplished something on any particular day, then I could go to bed satisfied and happy. When I didn't feel like I accomplished anything significant, I would feel anxious and worthless at the end of the day.

Then I started supplementing my job work or my house work with projects related to my special interest (math). I would always have some math problem or mathematical curiosity to think about. When my work didn't provide that sense of accomplishment, I would look for it in my special interest.

Eventually, I came to realize that:

1) I got good reviews at work, even when I didn't feel like I accomplished much. This means that what I was calling "accomplishment" isn't what others would call "accomplishment."

2) My enjoyment from math came from working on the problems, not necessarily from solving them. I have worked on so many open math problems (unsolved problems) and haven't solved a single one - but I've enjoyed learning about them and seeing how far I could get. In fact, if I chose a problem that was too easy, and I solved it, I would feel disappointment because that meant that I would have to look for another problem to think about.

Putting those two things together, my anxiety (when not not doing my special interest) and satisfaction (when doing my special interest) have nothing to do with accomplishment or achievement. It's the activity itself that drives the anxiety away.

I'm beginning to think that, yes, math is very interesting to me, but there's more to it than that. I need time with my special interest as much as I need quiet time to recharge after social events, or as much as I need food and sleep. There is some need for stability, certainty, and a comfort-zone that my special interest provides.

It's not just an interest, it's a need.

 

[MC1Rcat]

Thank you for bringing this up and illustrating it! I never really thought about it till now, and I agree with you. My special interests provide me with a sense of accomplishment / meaning in life that I do not find with other activities. They are necessary! They help me to relax more than when I meditate, and I am happiest when I am engaging with them. They also help me to cope with stress, depression and anxiety on a deeper level than stimming does. I think I do need to have some special interest time on a daily basis in order to have a good day....in the same way that I need to have time alone every day. I wonder if there is any change in the brain waves when engaging in special interest activities. Perhaps there is an increase in the alpha waves, and this is why it is so beneficial.

 

[Judge]

It's not just an interest, it's a need.

As long as even a perceived "need" does not wander into the realm of a pathological obsession I figure it's a good thing. A foundation of sorts to build upon and be creative. So be it.

 

[Fino]

For me, it's more depression than anxiety in relation to special interests. It's either have and engage in a special interest, or be depressed.

 

[UFO]

Btw... Daily life is exhausting mentally, and a daily routine, a special interest, or just a repetitive routine, is a way of charging batteries... But do you feel similarly exhausted or overloaded after you have done your routine, but in a good way?

My special interest is in movies, and I spend my evenings watching a random movie with popcorn and such. When I'm finished, I am even more reclusive and exhausted than I was before the movie, but I am also happier and more relaxed. It is like I switch mental overload from daily happenings to mental overload from the events in the movie, and I rather use rest of the day processing the movie than less interesting earlier events.

 

[Aspychata]

I love my special interests, and l feel mentally constipated when others try to remove or limit my ability to engage in them. I love a particular exercise that helps me. I enjoy logic problems. I love crime shows, and film noir. I could live in my obsessive interests with nary a care however l have to worry about my health and personal security. Math problems are very stimulating and l have a feeling of accomplishment when l crack the code. Am l good at math, nope, l love the challenge. I love this post. The problem is l have to many obsessive interests, l like tracking stocks, reading financial news, I like reading and researching travel spots, l like reading about other's obsessive interests. I love learning new recipes for meals. The list just goes on and on.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My special interest has kept me busy for 60 years interesting puzzle closer I get feels like my eventual death will converge with the last piece of the puzzle falling in to place. so hard to say if it's a need, others have come and went.

 

[Neri]

I have so many and I cycle through them! I love watching movies as well. I'm sick at the moment and watching movies is something I do when my brain is too tired to be much good for anything. I like mystery, journey, and emotional movies. I like crying in movies. I like writing and singing and creating art. I like cooking and knitting and researching SO MANY things. My brain is not working super well these days though, neither is my body. Sigh.

 

[TBRS1]

For me, it is like the specific thing I'm interested isn't the important part - the important part is learning/studying/practicing/trying/experimenting.

Whatever I'm doing just happens to be what that combination of things is currently attached to.

And, absolutely, if I don't do that I will have problems. "Special interest" is a big part of my self management program.

 

[Aspychata]

Others have mentioned that our special interests are actually part of stimming behaviors. Or part of that information gathering obsession.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Nice thing about retirement. It's nearly all special interest time. I also cycle between interests, but electronic designing. building, testing, and refining is always on. I tell people I don't know how I ever had time to work 40 hours a week. But having multiple active interests means dividing time between them, as well as pesky things like eating and sleeping. One thing that actually helps is that when I have to order parts, that project goes on hold for a bit, so I have time to put into a different activity.

I don't idle well at all. If I didn't have a special interest to fall back on, I'd probably do something silly like go get a part-time job or something.

 

[Nervous Rex]

As long as even a perceived "need" does not wander into the realm of a pathological obsession I figure it's a good thing. A foundation of sorts to build upon and be creative. So be it.

Yes, there is always that. Even if a special interest is profitable, there is such a thing as too much. I have to continually remind myself that the math problem I am working on is not something that anyone has asked for.

... But then sometimes the problems I work on actually turn out to be useful and profitable. A few times, I have gotten interested in a problem, solved it on my own time, and then been asked later by my employer to help with a project where that math is part of the solution. It's because of those experiences that I don't feel bad about spending time on "worthless" problems. When I solve something that has no apparent use, I just say I have "a solution looking for a problem".

 

[Nervous Rex]

l feel mentally constipated when others try to remove or limit my ability to engage in [special interests].

"Mentally constipated" I'm stealing that.

I don't idle well at all.

I'm stealing that, too. That's a perfect description of the fact that I always need something to occupy my attention.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Others have mentioned that our special interests are actually part of stimming behaviors. Or part of that information gathering obsession.

I never put that together, even though I have done it. I realized years ago that - when I'm in a setting where it would be distracting for me to stim - I could just "internally stim" by thinking about math.

I feel like so much of this is obvious, but I'm just now realizing it. Maybe it's just "obvious after it's been pointed out."

 

[Knower of nothing]

Very interesting thread. This is one of those facets of autism I always hear lots about but personally don't experience. I understand the logic of it now. The closest I have identified as a special interest is kind of exactly this, I'm interested in why people do what they do. But I'm not actively busy with this or doing any research. I just notice behaviors in myself and others and then think about it for a bit if there's something interesting.

Either way both instances seem to come down to strategies that manage mental load, which would be a natural response to the chaotic simultaneous over/under stimulation of autism. Sometimes thinking about how much behavior stems from this unpleasant source makes you feel the puppet strings a bit.

 

[Kalinychta]

As I understand it, what people here refer to as “special interests” isn’t a need or a want or a like; it’s a compulsion. It falls under the “restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities” area in the DSM-5. Here is the exact wording:

“Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).”

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Some special interests can turn into careers or hobbies. one of mine turned into a successful career, industrial colour control, and the second a great Hobbie physics. nothing wrong with abnormal other than the just not being typical.
the connotation of the word abnormal makes it sound like wrong or harmful.

 

[Kalinychta]

nothing wrong with abnormal other than the just not being typical.
the connotation of the word abnormal makes it sound like wrong or harmful.

I see what you mean. Maybe “very unusual” would be better. Although sometimes this trait can actually be harmful. Autistics who have it tend not to talk or think about much else, which can have a negative effect on their relationships. A friend of mine’s relationship with her boyfriend pretty much broke up over it, for example. I can’t remember what his interest was, but he was completely consumed by it to the point that he just wasn’t reliable. He went through two interests while they were together, and now he’s on a third.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I never speak about my special interest, my career was based on a second special interests it was hard to work and not show my interest to coworkers and suppliers and customers.

 

[Kalinychta]

I never speak about my special interest, my career was based on a second special interests it was hard to work and not show my interest to coworkers and suppliers and customers.

You have good impulse control!