I'm starting to wonder if my fianc? might have Asperger's

[Laura]

OK, I've been living with my man for over a year now, and I've got used to his behaviour, but looking at him it's possible. He's already diagnosed with ADHD and behavioural problems, as well as epilepsy. He loves flashing lights and will sit and stare at a slot machine for hours without playing it, doesn't cope well with routine changes (everything with him has to be planned in advance, down to the time he catches the bus to work), he's absolutely mad on certain TV programmes (he got really upset this morning because he missed NCIS), he will only play one game on his computer, and tends to be very quiet in social situations until he's had a couple of drinks, and even then he isn't very talkative unless he knows the people he's talking to. His eye contact is good, but then he's had time and therapy to work hard on that. He has a load of little stims he does all the time, like nibbling the corner of his duvet or pillow, rubbing his chest, twiddling his hair and chewing his fingers. He often gets very detached and you have to prod him to get him to talk to you, particularly when he's watching TV. He also has a lot of problems with affection. I think if he does have it, it's very mild, as he doesn't have the same sensory problems I have, but seems to have a lot of the fixations and emotional/social difficulties. He attended a special needs boarding school from age 12, but they didn't seem to pick anything up, only his epilepsy and ADHD, though that might have been to do with the time (mid-late 1980s) and how mild it may be.
I'm not sure, it could just be his nature, or the ADHD/learning difficulties, but I'd really appreciate your opinion on this.
Thanks

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

social anxiety is not restricted to aspies. I think more the style of social anxiety is.

Your best bet is to discuss this with your husband and then a psychologist. I've been a lot of threads about people asking "am I an aspie?" I think deep down if you read up on it and know it to be true in your heart your probably right because no doctor could ever know you like you do yourself. If you follow that.

Your description of your husband would lead me to believe that there is a cause for suspicion. As I'm not a psychologist, trained to diagnose aspergers and going off a brief description you have put up there are a couple things that suggest this might be the case. The flashing lights is a big flag one. I was told by a psychologist that aspies can get really obsessed with one thing, for example cars, but the thing that fascinates them is some sort of movement, for example the wheels spinning on the car when it moves. That kind of sounds like the flashing light on a slot machine though its probably more the movement on the screens. I remember my psychologist telling me that children especially will watch said interesting thing for hours and be able to only talk about that thing for any length of time. I would imagine as an adult you learn not to do that.

I personally don't experience this. This could be a symptom further along the spectrum than I am as I am a high functioning aspie. Your best bet is to discuss this with your husband then discuss with a trained professional. They will be able to tell you for sure.