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I'm tired.

A

Ana54

Well-Known Member
I'm tired of people banning each other from their sites.


I'm tired of people not explaining themselves properly.


I'm tired of epople insisting on arguing with me thinking we disagree but really we agree and just have different ways of explaining the same thing.


I'm tired of waiting and wondering when it will be my turn to be banned.


I'm tired of people assuming something someone said was meant to mean A when it was actually meant to mean B.


I'm tired of Aspies hating on other Aspies in blogs, journals, diaries, magazines, books, videos, protests, debates, TV and radio shows, and more.


I'm tired of the arguing.


I'm tired of the confusion. I'm tired of not knowing who to be friends with in the Aspie community. I'm tired of my friends hating each other and then each one hating me for liking the other one.


I'm tired of the insults and attacks on a whole person rather than on their ideas/opinions; thinking the whole person is bad just because they have a certain bad opinion or whatever.


I'm tired of everyone having to watch what they say.


I'm tired of caring deeply about members who get banned and then wondering how close I am to being banned myself, and then realizing that maybe the people you got banned defending don't even like, trust or respect you.


I'm tired of feeling so alone surrounded by people having miscommunications left, right and center, and this is no better in the NT world.


I'm tired of debates and I'm tired of knowing that yet, they are necessary.


I'm tired of people having a go at each other in a way where they are laughing at each other rather than with each other, and acting like the person they're having a go at deserved it or like even if they didn't, they have the right to have a go at SOMEONE to blow off steam, right?


And yet I am also so, so tired of being censored when trying to blow off steam.


I'm tired about people acting hoity-toity and smarter and better than me saying "Well, this is life. get used to it." Trying to make me feel like I have no friends because I'm not accepting life as it is and getting used to it, and finding out only later that they have no friends because of their attitude to people including me.


I'm tired of people telling me I'm wierd when it's them that are wierd. Trying and turning the tables on me, saying "Your disorder makes you act like this towards me" when it's their bloody disorder that's making them act that way towards them.


I'm so so so ****ing tired.


Please, let's try. As they say in Lost, we can all live together or we can all die alone.
 
Ana54 said:
I'm tired of waiting and wondering when it will be my turn to be banned.


I'm tired of caring deeply about members who get banned and then wondering how close I am to being banned myself, and then realizing that maybe the people you got banned defending don't even like, trust or respect you.
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Why would you think you are going to be banned? Do you feel like that on Aspergic or on another forum?
 
I agree. I don't fear getting banned, but the constant bickering and tearing each other down drives me crazy. I'd rather go to an NT party than deal with more aspie fights. :P
 
I understand, I'm tired too, so I don't care much, just talk to myself nowadays. Hope you can relax and do something you think is nice for a while to take your mind off things. :innocent:
 
Having good sleep is the key to alot of things, alot of the times when I have had a alot of good sleep, I tend to be really positive throughout the day, it actually does work for me.

I do get what your saying there, certainly the bickering in forums, unfortunately you bump into it nearly everywhere you go, I tend to just ignore it sometimes, but here my responsibilty is to prevent it for going too far.
 
I don't know what's worse: bickering or censorship of bickering.


I hate feeling like I have to watch what I say.


I don't think you are really part of the problem, League Girl, since I don't feel threatened by you, and I'm sure I must be part of the problem too. I do, however, get uneasy whenever someone I like gets bashed by someone else I like. Then I wonder if I will lose both of them as friends and wonder who is my real friend and who is my real friend because anyone who is my friend is their friend, etc.


Can I confess something?


I have noticed a lot of similiarities between a guy who was banned from several Aspie sites, and me. For the record, it is NOT THE PERVERT!! Anywayz, I remember him telling the mods (mind you, in public, and I am relieved and respect him for that; people who go behind your back I don't love, trust or respect) when 2.5 years ago I sent a lot of people "Do you wanna storm the JRC?" PMs, and he was the one that complained, but now I see so much good in him. for the record, he and I both have partners, so it's nothing like that. He and I are, however, having major problems with our partners, and in both cases it is involving children, even tho with me it's my partner and with him it's his partner's parents and guardian. And with me I am still allowed to see my partner and our son whereas he is not. And with me it's schizophrenia and bipolar disorder that's the "official" reason I can't have custody of my son, whereas with his daughter it's his Asperger's and later, his psychiatric and criminal record as well. Sopme of you will guess who it is. Maybe I'm a coward for not linking you to his blogs and his partner's blog. He and I both believe in 100% transparency and God, unlike my partner, unfortunately... though in a way I believe he believes in God. Anyway, it's driving me nuts seeing him and his family suffer and I never even talked to the guy once in my whole life.


One of his friends gave me phone numbers of his partner's guardian, caseworker, parents, house, etc. but I don't know what I could say that would possibly help. I feel that since I cannot give the intense therapy that is the only hope for these ignorant people, there is "no point in trying to help them", but God put this couple and their baby on my heart and it's like I can't control it. I tried contacting CNN about this scandal they're involved in and they haven't got back to me tho they said they would in a timely manner.
 
Am I a thread killer?


I swear that I was never a thread killer on WP! Even on AFF I wasn't much of a thread killer.
 
I don't think you are really part of the problem, League Girl, since I don't feel threatened by you, and I'm sure I must be part of the problem too. I do, however, get uneasy whenever someone I like gets bashed by someone else I like. Then I wonder if I will lose both of them as friends and wonder who is my real friend and who is my real friend because anyone who is my friend is their friend, etc.
Click to expand...


OMG I am so sorry. I did tell you in PM if you are tired of me talking about Meadow to you, just let me know and I'll stop. I know you're friends with her but if you were bothered by my bad talk about her, I expected you to tell me. Real friends don't go dumping each other when they are friends with their enemies. Real friends don't turn on each other when they hear a bad story about their friend. But I'm back at AFF now deciding to just pretend she was a bot I messed with. I pretend she isn't real and she is just a bot posting on the forum. That helps.
 
LOL, you are fine, don't be sorry! I was more talking about the WP and AFF people not wanting me to even bring up the name of someone who was banned in both those places (not David, someone else) and even tho I have never spoken to the guy I care a lot about him and his gf. I don't even know if he would talk to me. He hasn't yet, tho I posted a lot on his site and sent him a message earlier today.


I haven't talked to Meadow in a while. Nor have I talked to the people I talked to 2 years ago or even the person that lived with me for a month and a half (username88) or the person that was going to live with us (rexmas) and I even don't talk to MADDuck that much any more even tho 2.5 years ago we were talking every day for 2 hours on the phone. I'm so lonely now. I have nothing to say to anyone. :(
 
Oh I thought you still talked to Meadow. When did you last speak to her? She was at WP in 2008 for a month and then again in 2009 and early 2010 for a couple months before getting banned again.


You can still talk to me. My PM box is open.
 
I know you don't know me but I just want to say, you are quite young, and so are many of you on this site. You still have many years to learn, and I am saying it to try and make you feel better, although it might not work, but you and many of you are young. I used to have so much energy, but just like a big star it burned out fast and today I am exhausted.If you can don't burn all your energy out too fast.
 
I like to believe it is infinite.


I am still obsessing over the people I've been obsessing about for like 4 days.
 
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