• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

"I'm worried about you."

Yes, and then the next time I see them, I feel paranoid and put on an act. I have one aunt in law tell me that both my mother in law and other aunt are worried about me because I looked so sad last time. I don't want people fussing over me.
 
Why don't I smile? why don't I talk? why don't you say hi? why you leaving so early?why you staring at the ground for? etc etc....
 
These questions.. How do you even answer them?

>"Why don't you ever talk?"

Maybe I just don't have anything I want to say. *person gets offended*

>"Why don't you ever smile?"

It actually has nothing to do with my mood because I can be pretty content and not smile, but step into my shoes for the past twenty years and then ask me again. -_-
 
"Who do you think you are?"
Code language having nothing to do with your identity.

"How are you?" "Fine."
Any more than that is unwanted. They really don't care.

I used to think that NTs were semi-literate because they used words and phrases illogically. If you ask what they mean they think you are mouthing off because "everyone" knows. So do you, really, NOT.

Forgive my rant.
 
Last edited:
And to add to it, many cultures expect women to be cheerful and smiling and flattering and fussing all the freakin time...

I had men come up to me and demand a smile! Like it was their due!
 
Hello peoplerjames
Yep my nana (grandma)made me feel like crying
And people at secondary /private school
Problem is anxiety is very common in autism and wasn't dealt with in my generation /country-im in England
Find prayer helps as yeshua (Jesus) is very quick to react
Stopping
 
WereBear said:
And to add to it, many cultures expect women to be cheerful and smiling and flattering and fussing all the freakin time...

I had men come up to me and demand a smile! Like it was their due!
Click to expand...
I'm regularly told to smile by strangers. Or to cheer up. I'm like, this is just my face. I'm well aware that I have resting ***** face, it doesn't mean that I am sad, it's just how my face looks at rest.
 
It is a warped form of empathy, I think. They pick up on perceived distress, but their response goes off the rails. They should be sympathetic, and instead they often go all, "Stop making me feel things! Put your mask on!"
 
I went through a period of time several years ago when an acquaintance was so "worried" about me, she shared her worries with several others, including people whom I knew professionally. The potential impact on my business was scary, and it didn't do a lot for my social anxiety either. Fortunately, she stopped her public worrying when it became expensive for her to continue, and my business survived the impact, but the increased social anxiety within the context of the community has remained.
 
JuliaCee said:
I went through a period of time several years ago when an acquaintance was so "worried" about me, she shared her worries with several others, including people whom I knew professionally. The potential impact on my business was scary, and it didn't do a lot for my social anxiety either. Fortunately, she stopped her public worrying when it became expensive for her to continue, and my business survived the impact, but the increased social anxiety within the context of the community has remained.
Click to expand...

OMGosh. That was just an excuse for gossip. A lady did to me once. Went way over board and then just dropped me. Creepy.
 
xudo said:
I'm regularly told to smile by strangers. Or to cheer up. I'm like, this is just my face. I'm well aware that I have resting ***** face, it doesn't mean that I am sad, it's just how my face looks at rest.
Click to expand...

Me too. Big time. I once told a boorish type 'Don't tell me to smile' and it floored him enough to stop him for a while. Then he started up again.
Strangers like to bark at me to smile or the faux-polite ones do this classic: 'Are you okaaaayyyyyyy?'
But I live in a 'working class' town whose industry died way back when and the culture is stuck back there.
 
Oleg Steptoe said:
or the faux-polite ones do this classic: 'Are you okaaaayyyyyyy?'
Click to expand...
Omg, I know. How are they supposed to respond? I find this so inconsiderate, almost. They don't really want to know if you're 'okay.'

My boss stood beside a customer and chimed "Are you okaaaayyyyy?" as she was sitting there staring into space. Obviously, she wasn't... Later, I calmly sat down at her level and asked her what she wanted. I think my genuine concern was much more appreciated than my boss's.
 
tw3 said:
"Who do you think you are?"
Code language having nothing to do with your identity.

"How are you?" "Fine."
Any more than that is unwanted. They really don't care.

I used to think that NTs were semi-literate because they used words and phrases illogically. If you ask what they mean they think you are mouthing off because "everyone" knows. So do you, really, NOT.

Forgive my rant.
Click to expand...
Praise the Lawd, Brother

You can say it again! Amen!
 
Kirsty said:
Omg, I know. How are they supposed to respond? I find this so inconsiderate, almost. They don't really want to know if you're 'okay.'



My boss stood beside a customer and chimed "Are you okaaaayyyyy?" as she was sitting there staring into space. Obviously, she wasn't... Later, I calmly sat down at her level and asked her what she wanted. I think my genuine concern was much more appreciated than my boss's.
Click to expand...


I'm really cynical so I think of it like this.: They're not really asking; I call it non-asking a non-question. They know the person is "Not OK" and they're telling the person, "You'd better not be 'Not OK'" but they put it in the form of a question.
It's still Not OK to be Not OK... Cos that's Not Right!

Told you I'm cynical. I even love Diogenes! (And I finally saw True Detective 1st season. That guy McConaughey plays is the best ever!)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom