Impressionable

[danielcollins]

I believe, we all know that as part of being an Aspie it makes us somewhat impressionable or easily led into certain situations or opinions/views.

I'm curious to know if this has lead to any internal conflict when it comes to opinions and views amongst the greater audience. There's been times where I've been trying to be very open minded and willing to accept other peoples views (I had some odd views, which I wanted to kick because I thought they were wrong) and I've ended feeling like I'm wrong and there's something wrong with me for thinking something different.

I've got a good old work friend who's quite opinionated like I am, we went on holiday end of last year and butted heads quite a bit. Not in a nasty way just in we had strong conversations about all sorts - me usually feeling like I'm wrong for my thoughts on certain things.

I'm happy to be contemplative and re-think my views but this is a bit of an issue when it causes a lot of internal conflict. Seems like something I struggle to deal with - does anyone else have this issue? or similar issues?

 

[watersprite]

Indeed yes.

 

[Spiller]

You're asking for experience of internal conflict..
I constantly feel I'm wrong in every way!
Sooner or later my deeply felt attitudes of honesty, loyalty, dedication, etc, come into conflict with everyone elses' views - seemingly similar for a while, until money, commitment and love come in to it, then it's.. predictable, really!
I end up now, wondering what I really think at all.. best to think nothing then, maybe?
Or stick with my convictions, accept that this, too, will pass..

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I'm curious to know if this has lead to any internal conflict when it comes to opinions and views amongst the greater audience. There's been times where I've been trying to be very open minded and willing to accept other peoples views (I had some odd views, which I wanted to kick because I thought they were wrong) and I've ended feeling like I'm wrong and there's something wrong with me for thinking something different.

...I'm happy to be contemplative and re-think my views but this is a bit of an issue when it causes a lot of internal conflict. Seems like something I struggle to deal with - does anyone else have this issue? or similar issues?

Living this one, right now, but I blogged some of the heat out of it. The cross I'm on is that I seem to have a relatively high need to socialize, compared to a lot of others here, but I'm no better at it really. There's a point where I dig in my own heels because I'm right, black-and-white, and I can point to the stated rules but discover that I'm "taking them too literally." Whereupon I'm embarrassed, angry, exposed, and feeling played like the proverbial violin. And screeching like it, sometimes! Once I see both sides of the issue, I have a hard time getting comfortable again; I know what my convictions are, and I'm wrong, but I can't be proven wrong until someone changes the rules by saying the rules posted aren't the real rules.

 

[Suzanne]

Actually, it is the opposite with me, I am MADE to feel I am wrong and thus, fight to prove I am not wrong, which in turn, makes me doubt myself and therefore, frightened to give an opinion, despite knowing I am not wrong.

 

[danielcollins]

Living this one, right now, but I blogged some of the heat out of it. The cross I'm on is that I seem to have a relatively high need to socialize, compared to a lot of others here, but I'm no better at it really. There's a point where I dig in my own heels because I'm right, black-and-white, and I can point to the stated rules but discover that I'm "taking them too literally." Whereupon I'm embarrassed, angry, exposed, and feeling played like the proverbial violin. And screeching like it, sometimes! Once I see both sides of the issue, I have a hard time getting comfortable again; I know what my convictions are, and I'm wrong, but I can't be proven wrong until someone changes the rules by saying the rules posted aren't the real rules.

Yep I totally understand that, I think I have a high need for socialising but that need is very volatile. If I'm uncomfortable or irritable, then my capacity for socialising is severely reduced. What gets me is that it's widely accepted that what you see with politics is rarely what you get - yet I'll base my opinions on facts and statements.

Actually, it is the opposite with me, I am MADE to feel I am wrong and thus, fight to prove I am not wrong, which in turn, makes me doubt myself and therefore, frightened to give an opinion, despite knowing I am not wrong.

I think we might be experiencing the same thing but different methods of getting there!

 

[Spiller]

Living this one, right now, but I blogged some of the heat out of it. The cross I'm on is that I seem to have a relatively high need to socialize, compared to a lot of others here, but I'm no better at it really. There's a point where I dig in my own heels because I'm right, black-and-white, and I can point to the stated rules but discover that I'm "taking them too literally." Whereupon I'm embarrassed, angry, exposed, and feeling played like the proverbial violin. And screeching like it, sometimes! Once I see both sides of the issue, I have a hard time getting comfortable again; I know what my convictions are, and I'm wrong, but I can't be proven wrong until someone changes the rules by saying the rules posted aren't the real rules.

Agreed!
I may know the truth, whether it's the currently accepted one or not. Yet knowing it rarely makes me right, it just encourages me to keep my mouth shut lest the majority argue against me and perpetuate their war against efficiency and conflict resolution.. after all, who wants to solve a problem when it's far more satisfying to have something to complain about?.. well, me actually.. but that doesn't help my need to socialise very much though..

 

[danielcollins]

Agreed!
I may know the truth, whether it's the currently accepted one or not. Yet knowing it rarely makes me right, it just encourages me to keep my mouth shut lest the majority argue against me and perpetuate their war against efficiency and conflict resolution.. after all, who wants to solve a problem when it's far more satisfying to have something to complain about?.. well, me actually.. but that doesn't help my need to socialise very much though..

I've learned over the years about selective silence, I used to feel like I was being forcibly silenced if I "didn't have my say". I now appreciate that sometimes It's not appropriate to say something or just not waste the time starting an argument.

NT's do love something to moan about!

 

[Spiller]

I've learned over the years about selective silence, I used to feel like I was being forcibly silenced if I "didn't have my say". I now appreciate that sometimes It's not appropriate to say something or just not waste the time starting an argument.

NT's do love something to moan about!

I Agree, though I also feel the need to point out that this is not limited to NT's as I know atypical people that hold tenaciously (Oh, so ) to an opinion against all odds, as fanatically as anyone else, just for different reasons, I guess.

 

[Shawn D]

I am very easily swayed by others, but it depends on the source and context of the coercion.
When I was 20 years old, I became vegan after learning about the atrocities inflicted upon non-human animals for food and clothing. I was heavily into animal rights and even interned for PETA twice.
A few years ago, I dated an abusive man who controlled and manipulated me in every aspect of my life. He wore me down and convinced me to give up being vegan. I was vegan for 8 years (I even have "Vegan" tattooed on my hip). I haven't been able to go back to it since, mostly due to my people-pleasing nature. Much of my family was not very supportive and just saw it as a pain in the a**.

 

[danielcollins]

I am very easily swayed by others, but it depends on the source and context of the coercion.
When I was 20 years old, I became vegan after learning about the atrocities inflicted upon non-human animals for food and clothing. I was heavily into animal rights and even interned for PETA twice.
A few years ago, I dated an abusive man who controlled and manipulated me in every aspect of my life. He wore me down and convinced me to give up being vegan. I was vegan for 8 years (I even have "Vegan" tattooed on my hip). I haven't been able to go back to it since, mostly due to my people-pleasing nature. Much of my family was not very supportive and just saw it as a pain in the a**.

I'm doing a similar thing at the moment after watching numerous animal welfare things on Netflix, it's always been on my mind that the treatment of animals wasn't good. I decided recently that unless I could satisfy my doubt of the animal's life I'd not eat meat and hence where I am now.

I hope you find your way again (if you do decide to go back to it)