Impulse control deficiency

[Rocco]

I call this impulse control deficiency. It may have another name, let me know.

I become absorbed in my special interests when stressed, depressed, emotionally collapsing.

Lately I am deeply into painting, as some of you may know already.

As we all know, on the spectrum, being deprived of our special interest is not something healthy for us. Being guilted, mocked, or harassed for our interests can be terribly stressful. At least this is my problem.

My other problem is being unhealthy and developing intense distaste for my career. I do not have the means to leave my job, despite the negative impact on my health.

Last problem, I only want to paint, I go through the Motions of Life, wearing the mask of the person I am expected to be. I cannot indulge my interests as I desire and it makes me unhappier. Life has been less than stellar this year and I am regressing, I fear.

I am currently out of work, for an unknown amount of time, and I am reasonably expected to do house work, but have not been meeting expectations. My coursework has been suffering, in addition my personal and social life.

I'm stuck, like a boat adrift at night

 

[AsheSkyler]

From a health perspective, I'd say to allot yourself only so much time to paint at once, then go do your chores as you rest your wrist, and basically alternate all day. I've listened to the wails of many artists lamenting their lack of breaks as they deal with carpal tunnel or tendonitis. Some artists like to award themselves with art time if they complete so many items on a list, like one homework assignment, a clean bathroom, etc.

From a monetary perspective, reckon there's any paintings you could see about reproducing for sale on eBay, Etsy, or somewhere? Art is a bloody hard market to get stable in, but you might get some income on the side.

And there's no shame in taking a semester off to rest. Those two weeks in between just aren't enough sometimes.

 

[Peace]

We can all change something, it is usually fear that prevents us. Start to identify the things that plague you and work to change them one at a time. Start with the little things and work your way up. It is a leap of faith, but the reward is great.
Love the latest work here. Very in depth. I can actually see the ocean.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I'm stuck, like a boat adrift at night

Did you paint that? It is absolutely beautiful. I love the way the colors are all mixed in to the water...and the change in texture between sky and water...and how bright the moon is.

That's the kind of painting that would catch my eye in a store, and I might actually buy it if it wasn't beyond my price range. I'm no expert on paintings, though...just some things catch my eye. Most artwork doesn't appeal to me all that much.

 

[Rocco]

Yes I painted that last night before posting. I would probably try to sell something original like this for $30-40

I am also excited about the sky versus water texture, I'm happy how it came out. I appreciate the compliments.

 

[AdamR]

This may not be something you can or would want to do, but you might use this time in unemployment to work on starting your own business, connected in some way to your special interests. My AS partner has a single, all-consuming passion which he has, over time, turned into a true and stable career. He certainly had the focus and drive to do it, and being his own boss has solved a lot of his problems with workplace social bulls***. He says being stuck at a desk, in an office, away from his special interest all day, was slowly killing him.

I've been self-employed for a while, as a musician but also doing Photoshop work, believe it or not. I have a panic disorder and OCD, perfectionist type, and was always touching up photos as a way of de-stressing and making things "perfect". Manipulating images digitally gave me a feeling of mastery and control. I hated my regular job and working for somebody else. During a period of unemployment, I decided to improve my Photoshop skills and to try doing work for other people. It took a while, but thanks to the ease of creating a website and the convenience of seller sites like Etsy.com, I am now making decent money doing what I love (and even feel "compelled") to do. I have social anxiety, but that's not a problem when you sell online.

I didn't realise the paintings you post are your own. I love them! You have talent, absolutely. I bet you could harness your impulse to make art in a way that could do more than satisfy an urge.

Feeling trapped is the WORST. I hope you can free yourself soon.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I always got more work through eBay, but I'd rather transfer it all to Etsy if I could. They have much better listing and selling fees, longer listing times, and they actually have groups. I've heard rumour many AS people tend to be self-employed and do well at it.

 

[Rocco]

I would love to be self employed. I have always dreamed of such independence. I will research etsy. Thanks everyone.