Incorrect Thoughts

[mw2530]

I'm guessing it is common for those with ASD to have incorrect thoughts. We tell ourselves things that are simply not true. But sometimes I have difficulty distinguishing accurate thoughts and inaccurate thoughts. I suspect this is due to having a shortage of people in my life to talk things through with. For example, I keep thinking that I don't have enough time in my life to accomplish my goals and do what I like. I think this b/c I feel like all I do is work and spend time on my passions. But in reality, I am bored a lot of time b/c I don't have anything to do many nights and most of my weekends are pretty wide open. The reality is I have plenty of spare time. I have an abundance of time. But I retain this negative and counterproductive thought that I don't have enough time to do everything I want to. The real problem is that I don't use this spare time to try new things to improve my life and make it more fulfilling. I end up trying to solve a problem that does not exist (thinking I don't have enough time). Therefore, I end up feeling helpless b/c I am trying to solve a fictitious problem. For some reason I always feel guilty and unsure of myself. Does this make any sense. It probably sounds messed up.

 

[Judge]

Intrusive thoughts? Think OCD.

How Do Obsessive Compulsive People Think?

 

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

I'm guessing it is common for those with ASD to have incorrect thoughts. We tell ourselves things that are simply not true. But sometimes I have difficulty distinguishing accurate thoughts and inaccurate thoughts. I suspect this is due to having a shortage of people in my life to talk things through with. For example, I keep thinking that I don't have enough time in my life to accomplish my goals and do what I like. I think this b/c I feel like all I do is work and spend time on my passions. But in reality, I am bored a lot of time b/c I don't have anything to do many nights and most of my weekends are pretty wide open. The reality is I have plenty of spare time. I have an abundance of time. But I retain this negative and counterproductive thought that I don't have enough time to do everything I want to. The real problem is that I don't use this spare time to try new things to improve my life and make it more fulfilling. I end up trying to solve a problem that does not exist (thinking I don't have enough time). Therefore, I end up feeling helpless b/c I am trying to solve a fictitious problem. For some reason I always feel guilty and unsure of myself. Does this make any sense. It probably sounds messed up.

Intrusive thoughts? Think OCD.

How Do Obsessive Compulsive People Think?

Both your topic and the comment below ring true with me, and I think was think in a very similar manner, and have also chalked it up to not feeling like I have enough to do to keep myself busy all day. I feel so lonely and upset every evening that I don't feel motivated to do anything.

 

[Momo]

Motivation? Bah! Who needs motivation when you have ten-thousand pounds of chocolate (I think I have a problem)

 

[SusanLR]

I actually feel more motivated at night when I am alone and all is quite. I don't feel rushed, no one is pushing me about a deadline, no one is telling me to get something done. It's my time.
The days are too noisy, rushed and driving in heavy traffic is anxiety ridden.
The feeling of guilty and unsure of myself that you mentioned is there through the day as the people around me creates this feeling in me.
So, yes, intrusive thoughts as soon as I get up in the mornings, but, more peace at night.

 

[Gracey]

I'm guessing it is common for those with ASD to have incorrect thoughts. We tell ourselves things that are simply not true. But sometimes I have difficulty distinguishing accurate thoughts and inaccurate thoughts. I suspect this is due to having a shortage of people in my life to talk things through with. For example, I keep thinking that I don't have enough time in my life to accomplish my goals and do what I like. I think this b/c I feel like all I do is work and spend time on my passions. But in reality, I am bored a lot of time b/c I don't have anything to do many nights and most of my weekends are pretty wide open. The reality is I have plenty of spare time. I have an abundance of time. But I retain this negative and counterproductive thought that I don't have enough time to do everything I want to. The real problem is that I don't use this spare time to try new things to improve my life and make it more fulfilling. I end up trying to solve a problem that does not exist (thinking I don't have enough time). Therefore, I end up feeling helpless b/c I am trying to solve a fictitious problem. For some reason I always feel guilty and unsure of myself. Does this make any sense. It probably sounds messed up.

Doesn't sound messed up to me, welcome to my world
I am capable of purposely self defeating or self sabotaging as if to confirm an opinion of myself and get stuck in a 'helpless' state of mind thus shaping my behaviour or my actions.

If I believe I have no options then I won't see any options.
If I believe there MUST be some options, alternatives, different courses of action, a way in which to get out of this rut I seem to be stuck in, I will change my thinking patterns to search out and try something different.

With time and tasks or chores, I have to take it out of my head and look at it written down in black and white on paper. This is subject to expectations though.
Will I set myself up to purposely fail by writing a huge list of tasks that in reality I know I won't achieve and so confirming "I am a failure" (self sabotage)
Or will I write that list differently?

As I understand your post, it reads like you're using time (and lack of) to extinguish motivation.
Look at your expectations of yourself. What's worrying you about not getting something something done?
What message is it giving about you as an individual? Are you trying to confirm a negative opinion?

Have you ever sat down and looked at how much time is actually available to you?

 

[mw2530]

I actually feel more motivated at night when I am alone and all is quite. I don't feel rushed, no one is pushing me about a deadline, no one is telling me to get something done. It's my time.
The days are too noisy, rushed and driving in heavy traffic is anxiety ridden.
The feeling of guilty and unsure of myself that you mentioned is there through the day as the people around me creates this feeling in me.
So, yes, intrusive thoughts as soon as I get up in the mornings, but, more peace at night.

Yes, the night is best for me too b/c all of daily duties are typically finished. I still deal with intrusive thoughts at night as a result of unhappiness with my life. Some nights are better than others, there is a lot of variance.

 

[mw2530]

Doesn't sound messed up to me, welcome to my world
I am capable of purposely self defeating or self sabotaging as if to confirm an opinion of myself and get stuck in a 'helpless' state of mind thus shaping my behaviour or my actions.

If I believe I have no options then I won't see any options.
If I believe there MUST be some options, alternatives, different courses of action, a way in which to get out of this rut I seem to be stuck in, I will change my thinking patterns to search out and try something different.

With time and tasks or chores, I have to take it out of my head and look at it written down in black and white on paper. This is subject to expectations though.
Will I set myself up to purposely fail by writing a huge list of tasks that in reality I know I won't achieve and so confirming "I am a failure" (self sabotage)
Or will I write that list differently?

As I understand your post, it reads like you're using time (and lack of) to extinguish motivation.
Look at your expectations of yourself. What's worrying you about not getting something something done?
What message is it giving about you as an individual? Are you trying to confirm a negative opinion?

Have you ever sat down and looked at how much time is actually available to you?

Interesting take b/c I hadn't really looked at it from the point of view that it could be a motivation issue. I am quite motivated with some areas of my life, but the motivation is nonexistent in other areas. Maybe I'm using time as an excuse for not adding more enjoyment and connection in my life. Which sounds ridiculous, but the underlying issue is probably fear of doing something different. Also, I have big time trust issues due to a fear of people hurting me. Which has happened many times in my past.

 

[Gracey]

Interesting take b/c I hadn't really looked at it from the point of view that it could be a motivation issue. I am quite motivated with some areas of my life, but the motivation is nonexistent in other areas. Maybe I'm using time as an excuse for not adding more enjoyment and connection in my life. Which sounds ridiculous, but the underlying issue is probably fear of doing something different. Also, I have big time trust issues due to a fear of people hurting me. Which has happened many times in my past.

That's an outstanding amount of answers in just one afternoon, pinpointing a fear of changing a routine, having your expectations dashed by someone letting you down, disappointing you or hurting you.

Just out of curiosity, (and please remember you are under no obligation to answer my question)
What do you think you will go ahead and do with that information? (Your answers)

 

[Chance]

Intrusive thoughts? Think OCD.

How Do Obsessive Compulsive People Think?

That was mostly exactly what I experience and battle constantly, but once aware it does get a little easier to make sure you locked the door before you walk way (jiggle the handle then, don't wait and come back), look at the light as you turn off the switch, blow the candle out and remember that weird smell... Overtime I just became very aware of what I do, where as before I would do it but never remember doing it so I would have to go back and check, and oh man how I would freak out when I did actually forget... OCD will waste our lives if we allow it.

 

[mw2530]

That's an outstanding amount of answers in just one afternoon, pinpointing a fear of changing a routine, having your expectations dashed by someone letting you down, disappointing you or hurting you.

Just out of curiosity, (and please remember you are under no obligation to answer my question)
What do you think you will go ahead and do with that information? (Your answers)

Most importantly, I need to improve my confidence in myself. If you are not confident in your abilities, no one else will be. (Other than maybe your parents). That's just reality. Also, I need to focus on improving my happiness, rather than trying to please others. It is impossible to please anyone at all times and you don't even know what will please them so there is no point in going down that path. Easier said than done though, since we all like validation from others. Lastly, I need to work on mindfulness. That way I can respond appropriately to the situation at hand instead of my mind being in some other dimension.