Independence

[inkfingers]

I am currently in college right now, but I want to get a summer job and save up money so that I can leave the house soon. I don't even have a driver's licence yet, but I really want to move out and get my own place.

Here's the problem: Assuming I find a job after college, will I be able to live on my own and care for myself properly? I know that I get Autistic burnout very easily, and my worry is that I will not be able to keep up a job. And then, with all the change and stress, I'll probably be having meltdowns and anxiety/depression. So, does anyone have any tips? What did you do when you left the nest, and how did it work out?

 

[nuskone]

i'm in a similar situation to yours, and while i can't help you for the future i can give you a suggestion for the now: don't think too far a ahead. first get that driving license asap, which is, trust me essential, then finish college, but after that don't haste and dont get disappointed at youself if you don't realize your plans in your own pre established timing because that's what's likely gonna happen. and i don't say this to be pessimistic, but life is unpredictable and for people with social disorders it is even more, just remember no matter what to not give up and prepare for the worse, and eventually you'll get there

 

[Fino]

When I moved out, my drug use steadily increased over the course of three years, due in part to what you said with the burnouts, meltdowns, shutdowns, anxiety, depression, and then everything exploded during the last three months, resulting in a novel's worth of chaos and me moving back in with my family where I am now.

But at least I'm sober!

This wasn't very helpful, was it?

At least it was true!

If that counts for anything.

Good luck with everything!

 

[china autie]

Living a clean/sober life here also @Fino .

Have long thinks about what kinds of environments you thrive in and what kinds you are able to put up with. If you cannot get jobs that allow for your sensitivities, then

your home/apartment/bedroom surroundings become really super important.

I learned late that physical clutter and messes do not help my neurology.

Now I

actually get rid of stuff I no longer want,

throw one thing out of give one thing away for every new thing I get,

do not buy something unless I absolutely love it, and

have resigned from the race to acquire possessions.

My home is where I go to decompress. As such, I need my home to be quiet and peaceful and warm-- a retreat from the,assault on my senses.

Visit the Job Accommodation Network on the web for some ideas on what might help you to survive work without burning out. Visit AskAManager to learn about work expectations and cultures.

Yes, do get a driver's license if you are able [or consider moving to a city with real public transportation once you are out of school].

I did a lot of volunteer work when I was younger. It taught me how to interact better with people. It also gave me stuff to put on my resume or CV.

If any task or goal is overwhelming, break it down into small manageable chunks.

For all the bad news out there about autistics being underemployed or unemployed, remember

that there are bunches of autistics who are working and not counted in the statistics [not diagnosed, or diagnosed and working hard to work].

Some of us cannot work. Some of us can only work part-time. Many of us [and me] are underemployed but coping well with work as a result of having found something we can do without horrible stress.

You are a beautiful and valued human being. Always keep that up front.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

For now, just try the summer job to see how it goes. That will at least give you an idea of what a job is like, and it's always good to save some money, even if you don't move out.

One thing that would be helpful for you to know is whether you could move back home if the job didn't work out. You could treat it like an experiment; pick a job that seems most likely to suit you, work for a while, and know that if the experiment doesn't work out, you can always go back home where you started and come up with a different plan. I had multiple jobs that made me miserable, but part of the problem was that I was in the wrong field and really needed to start over with something else. Knowing you have a backup plan (going back home) can take some of the pressure off. The worst thing for me was thinking that if I didn't succeed then I'd have no where to go and all of my chances in life would be over. Knowing I could go home if I needed to would have helped.

Is it possible to do an internship or volunteer work in your field while you are in college? Not only would it give you experience to put on your resume, but it could get you used to some things that will be involved in your future job so it won't be such a major change when you have the job full time.

Do you have to move out and get a job at the same time? If there are related jobs in your area you might get one first while living at home for a little while and then move out after you've adjusted to the change of the job. Or if you can afford to move out before getting the job, you could get used to living on your own before you had to deal with the change of a new job. Those are just some suggestions for making the change easier to deal with.

It's also important to remember that just because you move out doesn't mean you have to immediately do everything for yourself. I first moved out in college, but I only had a very small part time job and I wasn't very far from my parents. I still relied on them a lot at that point. I gradually learned to do more things myself and now I'm fine living anywhere alone. Sometimes you just have to do things gradually.