Informal language.

[BrokenBoy]

So one thing people keep citing as a flaw in my social interactions is the way I speak. You might sometimes see this in my forum posts here but it really comes out more in real life. My way of speaking is characterized by the following:

• Valleyspeak
• Constant casual swearing
• Matter of fact-ness
• Often deadpan delivery in a deep baritone voice

I want to find a way to control this so I can get a job since everyone says these features make me unemployable. What do I do?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Think of it this way. Whether you are multi-lingual or are moving from a "casual" perspective to a "professional" perspective, you have to know your audience. You don't speak to small children the same way you would with your friends at the bar.

By all means, be "yourself" when you are away from the workplace, but within the workplace one must keep up a front of professionalism.

Now, as an Aspie, this is not a natural thing to do, but rather requires some degree of "intellectual awareness" of your environment and audience. Yes, I do slip up from time to time, especially when I try to be "humorous and witty" at work,...it often just comes off as awkward,...as it probably wasn't the proper time and situation for this behavior. Unfortunately, these things are not thought through first before opening my mouth,...my "outside voice" takes off before my brain tells me to "shut up".

 

[SimonSays]

especially when I try to be "humorous and witty" at work,...it often just comes off as awkward,...as it probably wasn't the proper time and situation for this behavior.

The problem is TRY to be humorous and witty. When I used to try to reveal my humour around people, it didn't really work, because there is an element of 'fitting in' involved. I love making people laugh, but there's a difference between trying to make people laugh and just making them laugh. I would keep doing it though because just hitting the natural jackpot once can make up for a number of awkward misses.

 

[Thinx]

So one thing people keep citing as a flaw in my social interactions is the way I speak. You might sometimes see this in my forum posts here but it really comes out more in real life. My way of speaking is characterized by the following:

• Valleyspeak
• Constant casual swearing
• Matter of fact-ness
• Often deadpan delivery in a deep baritone voice

I want to find a way to control this so I can get a job since everyone says these features make me unemployable. What do I do?

Well, can you stop yourself from saying things? If so, that would be a good start. Just don't say anything. Nod along and look interested, if possible. Comparative silence is surprisingly effective as indicating an ability to listen and learn. When you do speak, keep it very minimal, if you can.

You could also practice phrases that encourage others to say more, like, 'that's interesting, can you you say more about that?' And, 'How did you feel about that?' .

 

[unperson]

Swearing is quite an easy habit to break, just be aware it's a bad habit and stop doing it when it starts. You might need some speech therapy for the lack of voice modulation.

 

[SusanLR]

Valleyspeak? Is that like you know? In almost every sentence type talk?
The 'you know' phrase is very common with most everyone these days, but, a prospective employer
might not think it professional, you know?

Casual swearing, frequently, is something I never understood how people get into that habit.
There are a few four letter words I use occasionally, but, when I do it is usually because I'm
a bit angry. The most common one in use today - F - I don't get at all.
The guy I live with can't say a sentence without it.
I always felt it came from a constant angry personality. But, I don't know.
It's not one I find myself using, you know? I am guilty of the 'you know' in my speech.

None emotional is rough. Especially for us Aspies it seems.
Or we may swing the other way and get all excited and too loud.
A little theatre group would be a good thing to attend or at least listen to and practice at home.

The hardest still for me is knowing how long and when to look in the eyes.
I either don't look at all or I stare.
Like they say: It's hard to find a happy medium because they can see the future!

 

[SDRSpark]

Casual swearing, frequently, is something I never understood how people get into that habit.
There are a few four letter words I use occasionally, but, when I do it is usually because I'm
a bit angry. The most common one in use today - F - I don't get at all.
The guy I live with can't say a sentence without it.

I don't even hear myself say it anymore. I used to swear constantly...I'm not sure if I do anymore or if I outgrew it because...I don't hear myself say it. I'm not even aware of it really.

Now, if I'm in a situation where I have to be really particular about my language (such as an interview) I can avoid it. However, policing my language and expression takes up a lot of energy and produces a lot of anxiety (which is also bad for an interview situation).

I struggle with interviews. And I think, though I'm not sure, that today more than in the past, interviewers are concerned about things like body language, personality analysis etc. which makes it a lot harder today.

 

[Major Tom]

So one thing people keep citing as a flaw in my social interactions is the way I speak. You might sometimes see this in my forum posts here but it really comes out more in real life. My way of speaking is characterized by the following:

• Valleyspeak
• Constant casual swearing
• Matter of fact-ness
• Often deadpan delivery in a deep baritone voice

I want to find a way to control this so I can get a job since everyone says these features make me unemployable. What do I do?

If you can read and write and communicate verbally, there is no such thing as unemployable. In my opinion. You just need to find the right environment to work in.