Thank you. My biggest hurdle to being the mother I hope to be is perhaps my self-doubt.
I would find an offline support group helpful, but none exists where I live (I looked for one after finding out I have Asperger's.)
I do see a Psychiatrist every other week, which helps me with my relationship.
I am also already a mother, though my 2.5 yo daughter has a syndrome and is severely disabled and delayed. I don't have to worry about "parenting" her per se; she is non-verbal, has a feeding tube, and can't walk, or even crawl. She is, for all intents and purposes, "easy".
Now that we're having a baby who is likely typical, I get to stress about how my parenting will affect her development and the kind of person she'll turn out to be. What kind of example will I be? What if I have meltdowns in front of her? Will it scar her for life? How will I handle the crying, the tantrums? Will she grow up emotionally stunted?
I suppose every parent's have doubts before having a child, but my Aspieness probably amplifies those doubts.
It helps to hear from someone who's had doubts, too. It seems, then, that maybe my intense desire to be a good mother means I already am, even if I screw up along the way.
