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wellshuckslydia

New Member
Hi, my name is Lydia and I’m 32 years old. I’m currently on a waiting list for an autism assessment. I started realizing I might be on the spectrum a few years ago when my partner was diagnosed and I was looking into autism so I could be a supportive partner - I really cared about being a safe space for him and wanted to make sure I got it right.

The more I looked into autism, the more questions I had for myself. While this was happening, I was also in the process of trying to unmask my diagnosed ADHD (diagnosed at age 17). Under that mask, I found too many autistic traits to ignore. It explains the root cause of literally all of my problems in life and I am having an extremely difficult time coping with this reality and with my lack of resources for getting diagnosed and getting some help/support.

Lately I am finding it difficult to function and it feels like autism flew up to the surface and refuses to be ignored any further and I have no idea how to manage it. My compulsive masking to keep myself safe has destroyed my mental and physical health over the years and I feel like I am in shambles. My partner recommended that I try out this forum so I can find some advice and feel less alone in my experience. I value connection and community, but have a difficult time finding it or retaining it.

I’m hoping to find some community where I can feel safe, seen, and understood. I’m also hoping to deepen my knowledge and understanding on autism in hopes of managing it more effectively.
 
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Hi @wellshuckslydia and welcome to the forum, I lived for many years as a high masking autist/ADHD'er I had been expecting I might be on the spectrum for most of my life, but actually didn't know much about it, I was busy with my life :) - anyway, that is not a healthy way to live so I went down with stress - got diagnosed, (I was really surprised about the ADHD, I thought that ment small boys that couldn't sit still, not something that anyone would have described me as) - anyway I'm now in a much better place, still learning and building the real me.

Your partner gave you good advise in coming here to meet others to share experiences with and ask for advice, I'm sure you will feel welcome and learn stuff here :)
 
Welcome.

As you've likely found already, it's not unusual for ADHD and ASD to go together, and for girls and women, masking and/or professionals not being sufficiently familiar with different presentations of ASD may end up failing to recognize it, and diagnose something else instead.

The nice thing about online communities is that you get such a range of different backgrounds and experiences that while you may not encounter anyone who is just like you, you can encounter many different people who have bits and pieces of experiences that you can relate with and help you feel less alone.
 
Hi Lydia :-) I have both ADHD and ASD as well. Although I cottoned onto my ASD first and only became aware of the ADHD last year, after two of my sons drew my awareness to it. I got diagnosed a few months ago with both.
I am similarly, in a messy conundrum, with burn out and horrendous executive function (I also have what I think is Covid at the moment, third time, and it's not helping) so I really feel for what you are going through and what you are dealing with.
I have help coming, myself, being an Australian, and recently approved for disability support funding. I hope you get some good support too. Welcome to the forum!
 
Welcome to the forum Lydia I hope you find the forum a safe and helpful space.i haven't been on here long but already I feel the benefits of the connection with others
 
Welcome, and thank you for sharing.

I can relate to your comment about 'autism flying up to the surface and refusing to be ignored'.

Whenever I feel like this these days I remind myself that since my diagnosis nothing about myself has really changed and I am still the same person I was before i.e. feel free to carry on and focus on what you feel is important.
 
Glad to have you with us, @wellshuckslydia

Your story sounds alot like mine. In fact, I have learned recently myself that I most likely have ADHD on the side. Though I have had psychological problems that are not limited to being on the spectrum. Emotional neglect from my narcissistic parents added to it in a large way.

My capability to live life has been severely harmed by it. But I have been trying to work through it.

Anyway. I hope you enjoy your time with us~ You'll find that you are very much not alone in this journey. I would reccomend looking around at what's posted and even look at the resources here, to learn more about the path ahead of you~
 
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Xinyta said:
Glad to have you with us, @wellshuckslydia

Your story sounds alot like mine. In fact, I have learned recently myself that I most likely have ADHD on the side. Though I have had psychological problems that are not limited to being on the spectrum. Emotional neglect from my narcissistic parents added to it in a large way.

My capability to live life has been severely harmed by it. But I have been trying to work through it.

Anyway. I hope you enjoy your time with us~ You'll find that you are very much not alone in this journey. I would reccomend looking around at what's posted and even look at the resources here, to learn more about the path ahead of you~
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Thank you!
 
Hello and welcome. Hope you enjoy the forum. Let us know if need any help figuring things out here.
 
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