Hello! 
Not diagnosed, but at 23/male with where I find myself in life now, I'm beginning to "get it" that I have ASD. My heart doesn't feel good. Used to be a bodybuilder. Been a musician and artist for 2 yrs. Degree in Electrical Engineering from a good school. Trouble with co-workers. Good at typing. Extremely compulsive - Confused I have gone to extremes like really going OUT trying to be social and party, then spending weeks at home hiding and meditating, or comfort-eating.
Remembers sitting with Special Needs kids at lunch in 3rd grade. Then changed schools in 4th grade, and I guess the kids started talking about me, because I was a loner, and caught on I was slow, before I did. Recently read a book by John Elder Robison about his life experience from my local library and now I kinda "get it".
At first really optimistic about the positive traits of being an Aspie or Autie. Because that justified a lot of my previous behavior that I couldn't understand, and gives me a chance to be patient with myself. Always really beat myself up in my head for "can't"s.
Caffeine, alcohol and even got into marijuana. Alleviated some of my suffering for a time, but I'd find myself like the end Flowers for Algernon, back to being slow again. Soon as I learned about Addiction got really obsessed with it. Really started self-destructing. Can't understand what's wrong. Don't want to live. Addiction just made life harder. Rock bottom.
Untreated and without interventions, my conditions have progressed. If there's anyone else Undiagnosed, maybe you know what its like, to be an Aspie, then discover Asperger's in literature for yourself. Double-whammy. Never have I ever been, more obsessed with my own condition. Get day job. Make activity schedules. Quit using mind & mood alternating substances, clear head. Recognize and accept limitations. Build strengths where can.
Not diagnosed, but at 23/male with where I find myself in life now, I'm beginning to "get it" that I have ASD. My heart doesn't feel good. Used to be a bodybuilder. Been a musician and artist for 2 yrs. Degree in Electrical Engineering from a good school. Trouble with co-workers. Good at typing. Extremely compulsive - Confused I have gone to extremes like really going OUT trying to be social and party, then spending weeks at home hiding and meditating, or comfort-eating.
Remembers sitting with Special Needs kids at lunch in 3rd grade. Then changed schools in 4th grade, and I guess the kids started talking about me, because I was a loner, and caught on I was slow, before I did. Recently read a book by John Elder Robison about his life experience from my local library and now I kinda "get it".
At first really optimistic about the positive traits of being an Aspie or Autie. Because that justified a lot of my previous behavior that I couldn't understand, and gives me a chance to be patient with myself. Always really beat myself up in my head for "can't"s.
Caffeine, alcohol and even got into marijuana. Alleviated some of my suffering for a time, but I'd find myself like the end Flowers for Algernon, back to being slow again. Soon as I learned about Addiction got really obsessed with it. Really started self-destructing. Can't understand what's wrong. Don't want to live. Addiction just made life harder. Rock bottom.
Untreated and without interventions, my conditions have progressed. If there's anyone else Undiagnosed, maybe you know what its like, to be an Aspie, then discover Asperger's in literature for yourself. Double-whammy. Never have I ever been, more obsessed with my own condition. Get day job. Make activity schedules. Quit using mind & mood alternating substances, clear head. Recognize and accept limitations. Build strengths where can.
