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Is 54 too late to discover that "you're a strange one"?

B

Betty_Rose

Active Member
Recently discovered that there's a plausible explanation for my life-long weirdness.

My first clue came recently when I recently learned that there are others like me who prefer solitude, don't like loud noises, can't stand social gatherings, and have the capacity to become obsessed by a single topic.

I work in a unique niche field, and I am *the* expert in my funny little niche field. I've written several books and can easily spend hours each day learning more about my topic. It's a real time sink, and thankfully, it's provided me a means to support myself - in solitude.

Plus, I have a photographic memory and for most of my life, I just assumed that everyone could "take a picture with their mind."

Many years ago, I worked as a Realtor and someone in the office asked me why I didn't have a desk-top rolodex (for storing phone numbers and client information). My friend laughed out loud and said, "Are you kidding? Betty has one in her head. Go ahead and ask her any phone number. She has them all in her head."

Again, I thought that everyone could do that.

All my life, I was told I wasn't that bright, but in later life I learned that I am quite intelligent, but in different ways than might be easily reflected on typical 1960s IQ tests. And I have this phenomenal memory...

It's a relief to find a place where I know I'm not alone.

Betty Rose
 
hi and welcome i was 47 when i was diagnosed and now am 50 and still trying to make sence of things this is a great place for advice and support to
 
I was 63 when diagnosed 15 months ago. I changed the way I thought after discovering my autism and learning what it meant. My evaluator told me to expect to be misunderstood by others and to also know that I would frequently misinterpret NT behavior. I have never forgotten this advice and it brings me comfort and understanding.

As dirty Harry said: "a man's got to know his limitations."

A Man's Got to Know His Limitations Scene from Magnum Force Movie (1973) | MOVIECLIPS
 
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It depends on what you mean by "too late". I have not been formally diagnosed as an adult (I'm 57) but as a child I was diagnosed with something called "perceptual disorder/emotionally disturbed." For some reason "autistic" was not used as a label back then, although both autism and aspergers were known about. I too always felt that I did not fit in, in fact was constantly reminded that I did not fit in, and it wasn't until I discovered the writings of Dr. Temple Grandin (through the writings of Dr. Oliver Sacks) that things about me started to make sense. I do not have either the money nor the time to get a formal diagnosis and honestly don't know what good it would do me at this stage of life because I am obviously not disabled enough to qualify for aid, even if there was any in my area for adults, which there isn't.
 
I don't think it's ever too late, if you have ever had questions, why would be too late to get an answer?

Welcome to the site and I hope it all starts making sense for you :-)
 
Count me in....I only figured it out a few months ago...in my late fifties.

It's better to know IMO. At least it all makes a certain amount of sense...and I think in many ways I can learn to handle it better. And know which fights to fight, and which ones to walk away from.
 
I'm new to this forum and I learned I was Aspergers/HF autistic when I was 50. I'm now 51.
At first, I was angry at all of my misdiagnosis during a lifetime of being labelled ADHD, OCD, Panic Disorder, etc., etc.
But then I realized something very important and I think it will help all of us who came to this later in life: the fact that we survived for so long without knowing or understanding our disabilities is a tribute to our strength and intellect.
the way I see it now is that, now that I know, I'm going to be so much better at everything I can do that makes me special. All of the labels and sad predictions that you read about...well, I refuse them...b/c I learned to compensate for them! Granted, I do wish I knew this when I was 20 -- but I'm 51, and I'm also someone who has overcome a lot of the so-called debilitating issues that come with a HFA diagnosis.
FYI, I was married twice to NTs (supposedly we are bad at that), and although now divorced again, I CAN LOVE. I also don't have a lot of friends, but now, I'm thinking I'll pursue friendships with other Aspies/HFAs! And I hyperfocus on poetry! oh well, I love it...and I remind myself that even NTs don't make a living at poetics, so I'm still okay with that...and I like to SWING. Okay? That's no different than my NT neighbor who runs everyday...and yet I giggle more! So you see, it's normal to get depressed about this diagnosis later in life, and even angry at all the so-called professionals who misdiagnosed us for decades (& we believed them, which gave us even more worries than we had to deal with), but one day -- perhaps in 6 months or a year after you accept and research this condition -- well, it WILL help you to understand it and will allow you to make better choices in the future. That's how I see it, and I think as Aspies, we are naturally optimistic, too...so trust your own brand of weirdness...but also know you'll be okay, b/c you've been okay so far...without knowing...but imagine what you can do, now that you DO know...
 
Welcome, Betty! I'm new here too and also diagnosed on the later side (33). I'm so glad that there are people in this forum from so many different age groups, so we can learn how it affects us at different points in our lives.
 
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