Lichi
Think of an idiot, only smarter.
Hello everybody!
I initially posted an extensive introduction about me and Asperger in another post. I’ll try with a brief summary again.
I am 29 years old. I have always felt odd wherever I go. I was mis-diagnosed with bi-polar disorder 10 years ago (because I decided to mis-lead the therapist). I was partially diagnosed with ADHD last year. In order to start the treatment for ADHD my new psychologist uncovered the mis-diagnose from 10 years ago. I have been troubled with anxiety and panic attacks and agoraphobia for the past year as well. In an attempt to clarify why, I was very recently introduced to Asperger’s Syndrome as a root to the agoraphobia and anxiety, as well as my life long struggle with disaffection.
Though we are still working on the neurological tests and uncovering a clear diagnosis, I believe I have landed on the correct one. I have read experiences and testimonies and I have never related more to anything at all ever in my life. I’ll paste some of the things from my first post that were things I noticed before we even discussed AS.
I’m still at the bitter-sweet feeling of finding this out in terms of wishing it’s not true, but at the same time relieved that it is true. I have a nephew who is 15, and diagnosed with Autism for the past 7 years. Although I recognize some traits in him, most are far off. I understand there are many differences, and I am here to learn more. I have a lot of questions that I hope to learn about as I go.
I initially posted an extensive introduction about me and Asperger in another post. I’ll try with a brief summary again.
I am 29 years old. I have always felt odd wherever I go. I was mis-diagnosed with bi-polar disorder 10 years ago (because I decided to mis-lead the therapist). I was partially diagnosed with ADHD last year. In order to start the treatment for ADHD my new psychologist uncovered the mis-diagnose from 10 years ago. I have been troubled with anxiety and panic attacks and agoraphobia for the past year as well. In an attempt to clarify why, I was very recently introduced to Asperger’s Syndrome as a root to the agoraphobia and anxiety, as well as my life long struggle with disaffection.
Though we are still working on the neurological tests and uncovering a clear diagnosis, I believe I have landed on the correct one. I have read experiences and testimonies and I have never related more to anything at all ever in my life. I’ll paste some of the things from my first post that were things I noticed before we even discussed AS.
- Trouble understanding when/if something is insinuated. (I moved to a different country and had this problem with new friends - English speakers)
- Increased focus on literal meanings. (Refuse to reply with 'I am good', rather use the word 'OK' because 'good' is the extreme end of the spectre)
- Increased need for isolation for days/weeks
- Trouble understanding how friendships are formed and kept
- Increased anxiety in social setting, anxiety and panic attacks
- Selective mutism in social settings
- Not being able to specify my own feelings on subjects
- Trouble replying to texts with emojis, using appropriate emojis
- Looking at things from a logical point of view, not able to be empathetic
- Preferring to articulate myself in text more and more as time goes, rather than a vocal conversation
- Emotionally distant from boyfriend, family, friends, (more noticable in recent years)
- Starting to speak on a subject, and continue speaking of it that is completely out of context for rest of the conversation, rarely getting to a closing point.
- Having certain rituals in little things that make no sense, but will trigger anxiety if not followed. I used to call these 'my little OCD routines'
- Weird interest of calculating anything that can be calculated (additions and subtractions) in lists
- Dreading physical touch, hugs, etc. I can't even cry if someone tries to hug me and console me.
- Fascinated by consistency of food, rather the taste. Like to touch different surfaces and textures.
- Disaffectionate behaviour, even towards my parents.
- Trouble balancing sex and relationships. (Usually unable to have sex with a person I have long term contact with, not able to see them as a person with feelings. OR feel that a relationship needs to have excessive sex in order to be consummated.)
I’m still at the bitter-sweet feeling of finding this out in terms of wishing it’s not true, but at the same time relieved that it is true. I have a nephew who is 15, and diagnosed with Autism for the past 7 years. Although I recognize some traits in him, most are far off. I understand there are many differences, and I am here to learn more. I have a lot of questions that I hope to learn about as I go.
