Is it normal to wonder what others are thinking?

[Pariah Dog]

I don't mean this in a broad way like "I wonder what people would think about this event."

More on a one on one sort of situation. I notice that during interaction I seldom wonder what the other person is thinking, or what they might think to my responses and reactions. At best I might look for how they react to something. The emotion they person might have doesn't really cross my mind. This is more difficult to explain then I expected.

Do "normals" wonder what others think during interaction?

 

[Rayner]

I'm not normal by many standards. I often wonder what people are thinking, what their motives/intentions are and to a certain degree what they will do next. I'm not sure if it is something I do naturally or something I picked up as I've gotten older.

 

[mw2530]

I don't wonder what another person is thinking when I am interacting with someone and I usually don't know what they are thinking. I'm just trying to get through it as best as I can. Probably contributes to struggles in social interactions. Typically, I replay the interaction afterwards in my head especially if I feel like it went poorly and try to determine what I did wrong.

 

[Rayner]

huh. I do it when I'm interacting with people and even when I'm not. My girlfriend says that I'm like a detective and a cowboy rolled into one. I guess just I figured out what she meant. LOL

 

[FreeDiver]

Then it cone to interaction or in any situation where others are paying attention to me. Then yes, I really wonder what others are thinking of me. I become very cautious is to whether or not they have evil or malicious intent for me. And being an Aspie and not being able to read the body language. You have to assume the worst.

 

[Pariah Dog]

Then it cone to interaction or in any situation where others are paying attention to me. Then yes, I really wonder what others are thinking of me. I become very cautious is to whether or not they have evil or malicious intent for me. And being an Aspie and not being able to read the body language. You have to assume the worst.

I am also pretty useless at reading body language. However I don't see that as a reason to assume the worst.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I always wonder what others are thinking of me, it's really important that people appreciate me for who I am and never have any hidden agenda. I do also happen to watch for how people might react, and that might actually make me nervous in front of ones that tend to OVERreact. I just don't understand people much of the time and I feel like so many of them can be totally unpredictable. As for body language, I used to be terrible at it but after being around my NT boss and coworkers I've learned a limited number of facial expressions that might mean certain things (the "annoyed" grimace does come to mind a lot...sigh).

 

[WereBear]

"Is it normal to wonder what others are thinking?"

Certainly. Caring is a whole other story

I have been criticized for saying I liked my alone time for creative projects... for being too enthused about something... for speaking an uncomfortable truth... for having interesting ideas... for sticking to my principles... for being KIND.

All doing these things, somehow, too much.

For some reason, possibly my study of body language when I was a teen (I was obsessed with it, LOL) I can pick up signals and learned to interpret what they seem to be really thinking. Perhaps we Aspies don't have as much body language as NTs who are constantly trying to conform.

Because body language can reveal the true thoughts they have, despite what they are saying with words. Even voice tones can change, and if we can pick up on that, I can tell when it does not match a person who truly believes what they are saying.

Hey, in their own way, they are just as "weird" as we are. The "weird" is just so common they accept it as "normal."

 

[Butterfly88]

I have PDD-NOS so I'm not a "normal" but I sometimes wonder what others are thinking. But I'm not sure if this could be from my paranoia.

 

[tree]

I thought "wonder what others are thinking" meant
try to figure out whether what I am saying is being
understood by the person I'm talking to.

That matters to me.

 

[Bella Pines]

I think they do. My husband is NT (neurotypical) and is always looking for feedback or validation. He used to complain that when he told me stuff I didn't show any signs of listening, understanding or actually being alive. Nowadays I fake it by doing this nodding dog Impression and occasionally saying "oh wow". Sometimes I get the timing wrong and he smacks his head on the desk, but gives me points for trying.

I asked why he does this once and it seems like lack of confidence. They need feedback and to feel a connection.

Personally I'm confident enough, don't much care what people think of me and if I want acknowledgement or feedback I'll ask specifically for it.

Yet another bizarre NT quirk.

 

[Bolletje]

I spend more time worrying that other people might know what I'm thinking

 

[isthisreallife]

I don't wonder about the emotions I invoke in another during interactions either. I care what they think of me and all that, but I don't actually wonder if my commentary is making them happy or sad etc. Do normal people wonder those things?

 

[Pariah Dog]

I don't wonder about the emotions I invoke in another during interactions either. I care what they think of me and all that, but I don't actually wonder if my commentary is making them happy or sad etc. Do normal people wonder those things?

Which has brought us right back to the original post.

 

[JamesBon92007]

I used to try and figure people out when I was younger but gave up somewhere around 18. What I do now I think is called "scripting" where they say something and I search my mind for an appropriate response. Through the years I have learned many scripts and can now deliver them very quickly as though it was a normal NT conversation. At least that is my perception I simply listen to what they say and respond. I don't try to figure out why they said it. My brain is not big enough for both.