Is this flirting?

[Gomendosi]

This is me airing out the mental cupboards once again, asking for opinions on a subject which fully perplexes me.

With regard to flirting, I have been told on occasion that I am an outrageous flirt and especially when I?m drunk! Now here?s the thing, I don?t really know what flirting is, I mean I have a vague conceptualization but it is an ever changing medium of attraction and so therefore my idea may well be outdated, I don?t know and so that?s where you come in ; ]
I have actually gone ahead and bought a few books on the subject IE; how to recognize signals, how to understand verbal cues, how to change an automatic response into curiosity and more. Now this is all well and good, I appreciate what these authors have done, however I don?t think anybody had an aspie in mind while writing about signals and subtle verbal interplay with the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your predilection)

Now, before I steer you down the wrong path, my actual question is this, is sexual innuendo AKA Python-esque or Benny Hill type insinuation, double-entendre and suggestiveness, is this actually considered a form of flirting in any of our slightly skewed experience or is this just the harmless fun I have always assumed it to be?
Because now I start to wonder if I have accidentally been subtly sending unwanted signals to both male and females alike as I was raised on old style British humor and have never seen anything wrong with a bit of joking in that way. My whole family, while I was growing up, did it to one degree or another.

 

[cheetoe80]

:|I'm not really sure

 

[Socialskillsdan]

Depends on the context. A few things to keep in mind
1) If you're doing something to just one person, or primarily to just one person, then it's more likely to be construed as flirting. So for instance, if you're making bawdy jokes to everyone at the table equally, and everyone can see that you're doing this equally, then it's less likely they'll consider it as flirting. But if you're primarily making these jokes to just one person, it's more likely that person will think you're flirting with them.

2) Don't just blindly fire off jokes--look for how people react when you tell them. If you tell a sexual joke and people have a negative reaction, stop telling those jokes to those people. I know for Aspies reading people's reactions is hard, but it can be done--just train yourself to focus on looking for a reaction, and then spend some time studying so you can learn what the different reactions mean.

2) Even if it's not construed as flirting, sexual jokes can offend some people. In general, if you're going to use sexual humor, wait until other people are doing it first. If other people are using sexual humor and everyone seems ok with it, then it's more likely it will be appropriate for you to use it. However, you're always running a risk using that kind of humor, so if possible I'd recommend using safer kinds of humor.

Hope that helps!

 

[epath13]

some people do it unintentionally, it's just in their nature. in my opinion flirting doesn't mean anything, it's not always an indication of future action, it's sort of like a little social game, I guess, some people like being a part of it, some don't. I personally don't care as long as it's , let's say, on my level of appropriateness.

 

[NeverEnder]

I have never known how to flirt. Maybe I have done so without realizing it. I think it would embarrass me to purposely flirt. I take a more sly and quiet route like a fox in the woods.