Is this wrong?

[Dalton]

i have a birthday coming up and like always I just don’t like inviting my friends to the party. I simply much prefer to spend it with family. Now my friends always invite me to their parties and I go, but does me not inviting them make me seem like a bad friend?

 

[SusanLR]

I was always the same way and my guess is: probably.
Really don't care for parties to begin with unless it is just a few family members and a friend or two.
Currently I only have two people in my life I would care to
share a birthday with anyway.

 

[the_tortoise]

I don't think it's wrong nor do I see how it would make you a bad friend, but that's my personal perspective. To me it is similar to how some people spend holidays with only their family.

Trying to guess about someone else's perspective, all I can say is that if they continue to invite you to their birthday parties and your friendships are okay in every other respect then it is probably okay, even if your friends don't think it is "good friend" behavior (which would mean you are a good friend in so many other ways that not having your birthday parties with them can be accepted/overlooked in terms of what kind of friend you are overall).

Could you just ask them someday, if it bothers them that you spend your birthdays with just your family instead of having parties with all your friends like they do?

 

[Progster]

I agree with @the_tortoise that it isn't wrong and doesn't make you a bad friend. Do your friends know that you are on the spectrum? If they are continuing to invite you to their parties, that would indicate that they accept things as they are. If they mention it to you, you could explain how you feel - perhaps that birthdays have always been a family occasion for you - and that it is nothing personal against them, and if they are good friends, they will understand and not take it personally.

 

[Mr Allen]

I don't care much for big Parties either, although I did ask for a "Do" for my 40th in April 2016, which didn't happen, Dad said logistically it would've been too hard to get both sides of the Family in one place at the same time.

I do want one in about 8 years' time for my 50th if I'm still here though.

 

[Judge]

Birthday parties. Whether you loathe them or love them, consider that at some point in your life they may amount to something "gone with the wind", never to happen again for better or for worse.

My last birthday party?

-1964.

 

[Dalton]

Thanks for the responses. I wasn’t much worried about it, but as I was laying in bed last night it kind of just got me thinking that I never invite them lol.