Issues With the County

[ariinya]

As I mentioned in my introduction, my dad died on February 14th of this year. He was my caretaker, along with my representative payee. Most importantly, he was my dad, and I love him deeply and miss him so, so much. I'm so deep into depression right now, I don't know how I'll ever find my way out.

However, that's neither here nor there. My aunt and uncle have taken over, and they're trying to learn everything they can. Unfortunately, my dad didn't really set anything up for me in the case of his death, so it's like we're starting over from the very beginning. Thank God for them, I would be on the streets if my aunt and uncle hadn't decided I was worth taking care of, even though I'm really not worth it.

Today, we got some really bad news, though. Finally, finally my caseworker from the railroad came by (my dad worked for BNSF — Burlington Northern Santa Fe — before he retired, so if they decide I'm his dependent, I'll be able to collect a percentage of his retirement). This COVID-19 outbreak has really set everything back by months. What she told us, though, was devastating.

I'm not eligible for help with housing, or even to go to a group home because I was diagnosed after the age of 18. I mean, that's not surprising, given my age and the attitude towards Asperger's when I was younger. But my aunt and uncle blame me for opening my fat mouth and saying I was 22 when I was diagnosed. I feel like everything is collapsing around me. I don't know what to do.

And on top of everything, I'll need to leave my apartment by the end of the month because they can't afford to keep paying for it, which is understandable. I'm only getting $936 per month from SSI right now, nowhere near enough to pay for this place plus utilities.

I've spent the day in tears, just sobbing my eyes out alone, except for my cats, who've stayed near me. And I'll be losing them as well most likely when I leave. I hate blaming someone who's gone, but why couldn't my dad have prepared better? Didn't he care about me at all? Or did he just not care what happened to me after he was gone?

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes adults don't always plan, maybe he thought he would live a lot longer. I have heard this happen many times. Maybe it's time to think about him and the memories. I know you are upset and changes are hard. It's usually best to volunteer as little as possible in regards to facts. You can always politely say that you don't know the answer. Sorry for the pain you are feeling now.

 

[oregano]

This is why I urge all disabled people who have the mental capacity to do so to think about how they will survive when their caretakers/family members are gone. It took a while for my mom to understand that I bought my land not because I want to move away because she's a terrible mom (which she most certainly is not) or to "run away from my problems" but because she is elderly and won't be around forever and I will only have my SSI when she is gone and it won't pay the bills here. Also, many people don't like to "think about death" so they never make plans for it and then anybody who depends on them is out of luck. I have read case after case after case of people dying suddenly and their disabled offspring having no choice but to move to Tent City along the railroad tracks.

 

[menander]

Disabled Lives (Don't) Matter.

 

[Giraffes]

Goodness me things are hard for you ATM must be very difficult grieving and being so vunerable,most people don't consider the future and the whole his death has left must be vast, i hope you find some support and understanding, sorry i can't give any practical advise or solutions to improve things, i hope sharing here gives you a little support and comfort.

 

[SDRSpark]

I'm not eligible for help with housing, or even to go to a group home because I was diagnosed after the age of 18. I mean, that's not surprising, given my age and the attitude towards Asperger's when I was younger. But my aunt and uncle blame me for opening my fat mouth and saying I was 22 when I was diagnosed. I feel like everything is collapsing around me. I don't know what to do.

Good grief. That is one of the most asinine things I've ever heard (both the policy and your aunt and uncle blaming you for it - did they really think that if you'd lied it wouldn't be found out eventually? This is worlds better than being deemed to have been ineligible after the fact and being ordered to pay it all back at some point months or maybe years down the line!)

Still though, what the heck on that policy. Disabled is disabled. It shouldn't matter at all if the reason was discovered before or after you hit that magic 18th birthday.