It's weird is life, isn't it?

[4oClock]

I'm 4oClock. I chose that username some months ago, and never came back to this forum, because I just kinda gave up trying to get help for myself. But I think this will help me. The time I signed up was, well, 4AM.

I've always been a paranoid insomniac, a worrier of a massive scale. My anxiety is one of the most debilitating aspects of my Aspergers. In other ways, I'm not really that limited by it. I have friends, and I have a girlfriend and soon to be life partner and wife. At this point in my life, 19, I am wondering where I am and where I am going. I'm very confused and scared at this point. The rush of adolescence is nearly over and I'm slowly approaching young adulthood, where I need to start being more serious and start thinking about the future in a serious manner. Right now I feel like I'm floating across a massive blue ocean with no chance of finding land. However despite all this, I have my friends, and I have the partner I love infinitely, whom when I'm with these feelings melt away...

Apart from that, I'm a general 19 year old on the internet. I follow memes, I watch anime, various cartoons, and even that one which involves candy coloured ponies, because it's adorable as hell. I spend most of my time listening to music and trying to make my day feel a bit less empty. But strangely on the flip side of that, when I'm given loads of stuff to do I feel overloaded. I seem to go to extremes - I'm never in the middle. It's always under or overstimulated with no balance.

Sometimes, I really wish I could go back and start off my life again. I've spent to much time goofing around, so much time wasting away, so much time procrastinating - I haven't really done myself any favours in the past. Whether it be standing out and being different and getting picked on for it; or freaking out at the mention of any exam and therefore trying to ignore any work put my way by school, overall anxiety has been a ruling force throughout my life.

I don't know what else to write now... Hi I guess.

 

[Peace]

Hello 4oClock and welcome,
You could have been writing about me there. I, however, have the good fortune to be on the other side of life from you. 48 years old, 2 children and 4 stepchildren, married 3 times and going thru divorce right now, and getting ready to sell my house and unsettle to be free and love on people. Let me say that I went thru many phases in my life which continued to change as I would learn more. What occurred to me over and over was the fact that it makes no difference where you are or what you are doing, as long as you are happy. Follow your heart, not the plans of others. We cannot control life, we can only react to it.
My best advice would be to
1) Start at the beginning! There are 4 steps in solving any problem, One is realizing that you have a problem, Two is figuring out what the problem is, Three is deciding what to do about it and Four is doing it.
What is it that you want in life? Do It!
Good luck my friend, and have Peace.
PS. Remember that all in nature works best when in balance.

 

[Nega Rark]

Hi 4oClock, I am new too! I am 23 so I made it through a bit longer period of life. Took me some rock-bottoming to finally learn that I am on the Spectrum. College was great, and I struggled with organizing my life (I'd be so overstimulated in the first 1-2 months of the semester then pretty depressed for the rest) I wish I had known I was on the Spectrum, or would have been willing to even admit it, because then maybe I could have focused on what Chip can do. Not what everyone else is doing on campus.

What I did from 18-22: Joined a fraternity, joined the crew team, worked part time restaurant and retail work, lifted heavy weights, went to concerts, joined the crew team, chased a lot of girls! (Just chased though)

What I wish I did from 18-22: Made a schedule, went to the gym, went to class, found a counselor, went to the gym, did my homework really thoroughly, joined a music band or gaming club, went to bed on time.

But we can't change the past, and we only have the "now"... Or something! Compassion is learning to understand ourselves

 

[Soup]

Hi there 4oClock! Welcome to the forum. I chose my name kind of randomly too. I simply eat a lot of soup & I was eating some when I signed up. I'm one of those Aspies at the other end of the spectrum: I'm emotionally quite flat-lined. I never worry & I'm not anxious BUT many members here struggle with intense emotions & anxiety. What I like about this site is that you get to learn from Aspies form all over the planet & of all ages & backgrounds. Some brilliantly intelligent, some more average, some very chatty & others who say little. Interesting articles & links to informative videos also get uploaded adding to the richness of the site. I hope you grow to really like coming here too.