judgements

[Turk]

I didn't always take responsiblity for the way my Aspergers, affected other people. Unfortunately taking responsiblity and being accountable hasnt taken the shape I thought it would. It feels as I lower my wall of denial, there is a pack of wolves waiting to strip you to bone. With the Aspergers label, comes judgement and the unwillingness of others to treat you like you know anything of the human spirit. I see ,horrendous behavior , of others, every day, but my observations are invalid, because I have a label. My Physcologist tells me to keep talking, to push myself forward. The more I learn about my condition, the less I want to involve myself, in a world of rules, contradiction and conflict. To be honest, If I was the lone, last survivor of this planet, I wouldnt shed a tear for the rest of hunamity. I dont doubt, that there are some good unassuming people out there, but ive yet to meet them with the exception of you guys. People in my life say, all they want from me is accountability. I beg to differ. There may be a bit of karma in all this, so despite the dark overtones, im philosophical about, what it all means. Sorry guys, just had to get this off my chest.
Cheers
Turk

 

[nowwhat]

Consider your load lightened. Looks suspiciously like something I carry from time to time. If I ever catch the guy that handed it to me, he's in for it!

 

[Ereth]

Have you considered dropping the "label" altogether? Yes, you have AS, and it shapes your experiences, but it doesn't have to define who you are as a person.

 

[Turk]

Have you considered dropping the "label" altogether? Yes, you have AS, and it shapes your experiences, but it doesn't have to define who you are as a person.

Unfortunately, I was very honest, when it became apparent, I had AS. It makes no difference whether I drop the label, if those who were originally aware, still remember. Ive never let AS define me as person, but others are not that accomodating. As long as AS defines me in their eyes, my point is invalid, short of world war 3. Defending ones self, is seen as denial. Inputing to conversation is deemed as possibly flawed. Which leaves me with saying very little. For people who would like me to move beyond my condition, not very logical

 

[Ereth]

I think I understand the feeling. With my family the dynamic is flipped---there's no possible way I have AS because I'm too intelligent, or I'm using my AS as an excuse for poor behavior.

But I still think it's ultimately on us to inform other people of their misconceptions. That can't be accomplished if we shut the world out. And if words are not available for whatever reason, then we do it through action. This isn't saying that we have to change our core selves, mind you. I do think, however, that if we aren't careful, we'll end up relying on this conclusion:

"I have AS. Therefore I am immutable, or unwilling to be anything but immutable, and I don't care what happens to other people."

Again, I'm not saying that we have to change who we are. Autism makes life difficult in a different sort of way. But while it provides some insight into our thoughts and behavior, we can't let it become our constant excuse for poor behavior. It's easy (for us and others too) to confuse a rationale for our behavior for a free pass.