Just be yourself

[The Penguin]

For those having trouble making friends might try to be a different person to fit in. But do you want to live the rest of your life this way? There many people do, but they still might not be happy. They might keep wishing to find someone to accept them for who they are. Well, I think you should aim for that goal. I know the downside, you might have loneliness for some time. However, you will have a better friendship meeting people accept you as is and you will be much happier.

 

[Suzanne]

Sooooo true. Very tiring trying to be some one you are not, just to be accepted.

I am blessed to have found a best friend, even though there is more than 20 years difference in age lol also have a other friend who I do call a friend. My husband is my best male friend, because he lives with me, so seen the worst of me, but keeps on loving and trying to be supported.

I used to feel so envious of those who could make friends, with the click of their finger; my sister who is 2 years younger is like this and oh the mental torture I went through.

Now, I rather have one good friend, because I get too overwhelmed in a group with more than one.

 

[Spiller]

I found pretending to be like everyone else, pretending to like the things they like and having to keep up with all of this, exhausting; it drove me to years of isolation in the end.
Finding my local Mental Health and Aspie groups has helped me considerably.. it's early days, but I seem to be connecting with like-minded people for the first time in my life, other than here on AC. I enjoy the conversations and I'm not so quickly worn out after the interactions..
Time will tell where this all goes, but, for now, it feels as if my world is opening up

 

[JuniperBug]

You make a solid point. I think, though, that there is a time to be 'on' (like at work or with friends of friends...people you have to be 'pleasant' with), and a time to be real.

It is so tempting though, to just say 'ah forget it' and let your flag fly without a care who sees.

 

[Spiller]

It is so tempting though, to just say 'ah forget it' and let your flag fly without a care who sees.

I so wish I could do this, but I guess a lifetime of conditioning myself to fit in makes it impossible unless I really know and trust a person.. a vicious circle, really, I don't let people see who I really am, so they can't get to know me or I, them

 

[Ellylldan]

I guess a lifetime of conditioning myself to fit in makes it impossible unless I really know and trust a person.. a vicious circle, really, I don't let people see who I really am, so they can't get to know me or I, them

Exactly this! It's so hard to shake off all the useless load we collected for years in order to fit in.. And after all the efforts, all the struggles, to find yourself surrounded by strangers anyway? At certain point it just feels so pointless.

Anyway, I believe there are somewhere in the world "our" human beings, and the time will come to meet them and it will be a real gift. I have met two persons that are very dear to me (apart of my husband and my sister), they are far from me physically and we may not talk very often, but I consider them real friends. I may spend a lot of the time alone, but I don't want anymore to struggle so much just for a sake of having a social life. I find this pleasure quite questionable.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

For me, that is a case of been there, done that, and found AMAZING friends.
Perhaps I am very very lucky.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Sometimes I enjoy the game of pretending. It's a little bit extra distance between me and others. And besides, not many people can handle me as I am.