just need to vent my frustrations with life with asperger's

[agent_cooper]

Tonight is just one of those nights where I can't sleep because I'm just so frustrated.
Keep doing the same aspie things I've always done for the past 40 years. Only now I have a label for all that garbage.

At first, the diagnosis was great because I finally understood the "why" of my life. I started to try to compensate for some aspie things with some success, but lately I just seem to keep messing up in that wonderful aspie way. (Saying inappropriate things that hurt people even though I don't mean to. Focusing on one approach to a problem for hours at a time instead of trying a different way.)

The frustration builds until I do something really bad. (Tonight, I upset my wife by saying something that was just plain awful.) Then the dam bursts, and I spend hours thinking of how to "check out," how to just quit everything, including important stuff like breathing.

I'm okay now. I always get better after a few hours of doing "research" on how to "check out." But one thing that always bugged me in these situations is how there's no one I can talk to in moments like this. You can't lay this on anyone who knows you. It's too much to bear. And, it's not like I can talk to my therapist at 4:00 in the morning.

So, here I am. I'm hoping I can come here from time to time just to write down what's going on in my head.

Thanks for reading. You can now return to your regular forum routine.

 

[Christian T]

There are always people at AC willing to listen to ventings of frustrations like yours, so I hope we can give you some support.

Plus, thanks to there being different time zones, you will be able to turn to as at 4am.

Also, I say to this every discontented aspie I come across and I hope you haven't already heard this many times before, but Asperger's is not something that just consists of garbage. All it makes us is different. The only garbage arises from the fact that we live in a world run by and for Neurotypicals who are not always willing to accommodate us. Remember also that there are many good things about having Asperger's, such as the ability to analyse things with absolute objectivity and to concentrate fully on a particular skill or area of interest.

I hope things improve for you soon. You're not alone, though.