Just Starting Out

[Shamar]

Hello.
About six years ago I was diagnosed as a very high functioning autistic, both Asperger's and PDD-NOS. This was at the age of 60. It was because a counselor at a job finding class noticed I never made eye contact and arranged to have me checked. I was both shocked and relieved. This explained so much of my life. I always knew I was different. I never had friends (as I understand the concept), I was always ostracized from social activities, and human interaction was a confusing blank. The pain of loneliness made me suicidal by age 9, only (obviously) there was nobody to try to talk about it. Somehow, at least a dozen psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors never noticed or caught on, yet it is all so obvious in retrospect.

I have come to terms with the diagnosis and accept it, and understand much of how it affects my life now. What I have trouble with is how not having been diagnosed at an earlier age has turned my life into a never ending string of pain, suicide, and failure.

I chose the title here of Shamar. It is an old Turkish term meaning "a slap on the face," as in a challenge to a duel. It is a reflection of how I see society has treated me, and my way of defiance to it. I'm hoping to find some insight here.

 

[tree]

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

The pain of loneliness made me suicidal by age 9, o

Age 9 is good going. I'm didn't manage it till my twenties

I chose the title here of Shamar. It is an old Turkish term meaning "a slap on the face," as in a challenge to a duel. It is a reflection of how I see society has treated me, and my way of defiance to it. I'm hoping to find some insight here

Mehraba, I shall try to remember that. Shamar.

A lot of late realizes here, in their 50s,60,70s even 80s..

Hopefully you can give some insight as well as take it

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Aspies Central!

 

[LucyPurrs]

Welcome to AC, it's a good place to be.

 

[Nitro]

Hi Shamar

 

[Myway]

Hey. Welcome to AC. I hope you enjoy it here.

 

[Thinx]

Hi Shamar welcome. I am sorry to hear how tough things have been for you. I think a lot of people in our older age groups weren't diagnosed or helped unfortunately. There's hopefully plenty you can say here about what you think and experience, and there are lots of interesting threads to read and respond to.

 

[George Newman]

Hello.
About six years ago I was diagnosed as a very high functioning autistic, both Asperger's and PDD-NOS. This was at the age of 60. It was because a counselor at a job finding class noticed I never made eye contact and arranged to have me checked. I was both shocked and relieved. This explained so much of my life. I always knew I was different. I never had friends (as I understand the concept), I was always ostracized from social activities, and human interaction was a confusing blank. The pain of loneliness made me suicidal by age 9, only (obviously) there was nobody to try to talk about it. Somehow, at least a dozen psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors never noticed or caught on, yet it is all so obvious in retrospect.

I have come to terms with the diagnosis and accept it, and understand much of how it affects my life now. What I have trouble with is how not having been diagnosed at an earlier age has turned my life into a never ending string of pain, suicide, and failure.

I chose the title here of Shamar. It is an old Turkish term meaning "a slap on the face," as in a challenge to a duel. It is a reflection of how I see society has treated me, and my way of defiance to it. I'm hoping to find some insight here.

Shamar, welcome. May your time here exploring and learning never include a slap to the face. Don’t worry that would never happen here.

 

[Shamar]

[QUOTE
Hopefully you can give some insight as well as take it [/QUOTE]

My first bit of insight I have to give is this: Relief from loneliness feels a lot like love (as I understand it), but cannot last more than a few months. Don't fall for the mistake. I made that mistake twice, the second time resulted in a hasty marriage. I now know I was born without the part of the brain that allows this emotion, despite the intense desire to feel it.

Thanks to everyone for your support.

 

[Shamar]

Here's another thing that has been bouncing around in my brain for a few years and finally found a place to come out. Everybody talks about "The Spectrum." Most people think of a spectrum as something with two ends, like a rainbow, and a sample is somewhere in between. As a practicing geologist, I am familiar with spectra in multiple dimensions, with a sample being within an area or a volume. For example an igneous rock lies along spectra of crystal size, plagioclase vs alkali feldspar, amount of quartz, amount of mafic minerals. This is called a QAPF or Streckiesen diagram. I think autism may be similar. Each person occupies a point on several spectra. For example, functionality (barely functioning vs high functioning), ability for social interaction, communicability, amount of inward withdrawal. I'm not an expert on these things, but I hope my point has been made.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Here's another thing that has been bouncing around in my brain for a few years and finally found a place to come out. Everybody talks about "The Spectrum." Most people think of a spectrum as something with two ends, like a rainbow, and a sample is somewhere in between. As a practicing geologist, I am familiar with spectra in multiple dimensions, with a sample being within an area or a volume. For example an igneous rock lies along spectra of crystal size, plagioclase vs alkali feldspar, amount of quartz, amount of mafic minerals. This is called a QAPF or Streckiesen diagram. I think autism may be similar. Each person occupies a point on several spectra. For example, functionality (barely functioning vs high functioning), ability for social interaction, communicability, amount of inward withdrawal. I'm not an expert on these things, but I hope my point has been made.

I think one of the online tests gives a result something like this.

Different marks across different traits ie social interaction, communicability etc
A nice way to think about it.

Makes it more 3D.

And inclusive as everyone has a place if you think about it.

 

[Nightingale121]

Welcome, @Shamar!

I think one of the online tests gives a result something like this.

Different marks across different traits ie social interaction, communicability etc
A nice way to think about it.

There are actually two tests coming to my mind, which give results like this:
Aspie Quiz
The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R)
The Aspie Quiz also shows a graphic of the test results in the various categories at the end.

 

[Bella Pines]

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

View attachment 43540

The quote should say

"It will live it's whole life believing you are stupid"

As you are the one who is judging the fish stupidly.

In your face,Einstein.

The fish would likely not accept your judgment of it.

Who else demonstrated that Einstein was wrong today?

 

[Bella Pines]

You should start a new aspie movement called "rebel fish".

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

You should start a new aspie movement called "rebel fish".

Will start a new thread,perhaps.

I'm not appreciated in my own time

 

[Shamar]

The quote should say

"It will live it's whole life believing you are stupid"

As you are the one who is judging the fish stupidly.

In your face,Einstein.

The fish would likely not accept your judgment of it.

Who else demonstrated that Einstein was wrong today?

This quote (whichever version is correct) has inspired me to change my avatar. I enjoy being a wise-ass.......that and playing with people's minds.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

This quote (whichever version is correct) has inspired me to change my avatar. I enjoy being a wise-ass.......that and playing with people's minds.

Glad to be of service