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Just To Start Things Off (calling all girls)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Willow
  • Start date Start date
W

Willow

Guest
Hiya,

I wanted to include this section because I have found that there are fewer girls with Aspergers than boys. I know sometimes I'd rather just get feedback or replies from girls. When it comes to talking about growing up or relationships or freindships, I kind of just want to aim it at girls because I firgure they might understand a bit better. So, if you wanted to talk about anything, I'm here!

Willow
 
Yo!

I'm really glad there's a section for girls here because I actually don't know a single other girl with Aspergers and it does make me feel a tad lonely and isolated sometimes :/

Hmm, I don't really know what else to say... :D
 
I knew two, but I fell out with both of them.
One I got on with really well and we shared similar interests(i.e philosophy, politics, conspiracies, etc.), but for some reasons I don't want to go into(it was really messy) we hated each other. I mean, it's really hard to explain, but all I can say is that there was a guy involved too and I think we both were competing for his attention and crap(if you knew the circumstances, she was way out of line). LOL... After some other stuff happened that I don't want to go into, we no longer talk and both hate each other :D.
The other one just kept on lying to me about her social life. It was sort of ridiculous really... I don't want to go into it to much tbh, because some of the stuff she said was so outrageous you probably wouldn't believe someone would even lie about it. I only put up with it because it was obvious she had major issues. I drew the line when she just said something crazy though. I guess I was just fed up of letting on that I actually believed any of the crap she said, and that I was trying to be nice and she thought I was just a total idiot. Meh.
These were both online though. I have friends who are female and in SEN(idk if they're on the spectrum) and two of them I consider best friends(even though I don't really have 'best friends' offline in the conventional sense) though.
I do genuinely think I was just unlucky though. The former, we could have hour long discussions, but personal stuff wrecked it. The latter I doubt even had AS(I'd explain why but the reasoning is rather controversial).
EMZ=]
 
I have autism and my best mate has aspergers, we got to the same school not many girls there who have aspergers or asd... I'm glad theress a girls section absolutely love it xxx
 
I think the more boys thing is a bit of a myth in reality, more that boys get picked up and diagnosed much more often, I know that when I was a nursery nurse I could have pointed out a few aspie girls in the school, who teachers just deemed 'bright and shy. I've only ever known one other girl who knows she's Aspie well after two years of gentle prodding from me, I've seen more than a few Aspie women diagnosed with bipolar instead, and they was about to do the same to my friend.

I can understand that Emor, my friend is the only person I know who loves talking philosophy with me, but things between us have got strained, I think sometimes we were such opposites, and that even two aspies can be very different, shes very quiet and comes off cold, I love to talk and often with nerves trying to fill all free gaps, so although Id talk loads to her Id spend most of that time struggling to read her reactions and worrying about what she was thinking xD.
 
Because the ratio is 1:7 with AS.
:D.
I personally think it's sort of juvenile you're requesting one... I mean, what do you plan on talking about anyway?
I mean, logically, yes, if there's a female board then there should be a male board.
I don't know though. I'd figure we'd be able to relate on any subject and that gender wouldn't be a barrier.
Unless we want to discuss what it's like to have a vagina or a penis. But even then it'd be educational to the other gender.
I do sometimes think I'd prefer to discuss things like relationships and sex with girls, but usually I'm not really bothered whether it's a guy or a girl. It's probably easier actually with a male 'cause if I need to talk to someone about relationship problems it's most likely regarding a male so they'd give me better advice.
Then again, there's conclusive research which implies strongly certain genders display certain traits which the opposing gender doesn't... But most AS females tend to not fit gender roles anyway... or at least, to the extent which would pertain the discussions which would arise on these forums I'd assume. From what I've read AS is simply a manifestation of the typical neurological traits exhibited in males...
I've just rambled here.
I think to conclude... there should be a male one just so I don't come across as sexist(I would explain why I do think there should be a female one and there's no need for a male one but I don't want everyone to think I'm some sort of crazy feminist), personally I think a male one is stupid though.
EMZ=]
 
I just figured that, there seem (Chris says 'seems' would make more sense) to be more boys diagnosed and that maybe sometimes girls would feel left out...or maybe they have. Yeah I don't know. Whatever. Do you want a boy one?
 
Willow said:
I just figured that, there seem (Chris says 'seems' would make more sense) to be more boys diagnosed and that maybe sometimes girls would feel left out...or maybe they have. Yeah I don't know. Whatever. Do you want a boy one?
Click to expand...


Haha, i'm not worried. I think its usually cause a lot of aspie guys are trawlling aspie sites, desperate for girls, so the females want a place of their own. If its not a sexist issue, like it is on WP, then it doesn't worry me. I was just warning ya :P
 
Oh lets not turn this into another WP, lets have a board for Boys only too. :P

There are plenty of aspie women in my group but I think the most of them are guys.
 
I like that there are girls and boys problems. If we get a ton of people and it becomes a problem, I am sure this forum will be moderated well enough that it won't be a problem.
 
I like that there's a girls forum. :) My mom didn't believe me for the longest time when I told her I thought I had ASP because I was so good at mimicking people. I was doubting myself too... until I found out that this is typical for ASP girls... not so much for ASP guys though...

So! Summing it up... It's nice to be able to talk to girls that I can relate to. :) Woot for ASP girls! :P
 
NT females seem to enjoy their "girls night out" time so maybe Aspie girls also like same sex gatherings. Guys seem to like bars, beer and sports and are often seen doing that without any women. Now, if we do Aspies only and consider that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we would really be restricting a lot of people.
 
Willow said:
Hiya,

I wanted to include this section because I have found that there are fewer girls with Aspergers than boys. I know sometimes I'd rather just get feedback or replies from girls. When it comes to talking about growing up or relationships or freindships, I kind of just want to aim it at girls because I firgure they might understand a bit better. So, if you wanted to talk about anything, I'm here!

Willow
Click to expand...

I'm a woman with AS, but looking back over the years, the one single thing that stands out as making me feel different is the notion of "two's company, there's a crowd". From my perspective, more than one-on-one made me anxious, confused and, for the most part, an outsider. That is true to this day. One- on- one, I usually end up being a listener/ advisor. From an outsider's perspective, I believe I was thought of as socially awkward. I hope this helps.
 
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I read this because I did not realize it was a girls place. I love that ytou have that, and if us guys want one too, then let us make one. What you are doing should not cause offense to anyone.
You Go Girls!
 
I really love that there's a girls' space (though it seems to have ended at "is it sexist to have a girls' space?" so maybe not so much...)

I was only just diagnosed, and it was really hard to believe it before someone here said something about girls demonstrating different traits; after that I looked into what the traits are for girls and everything fell into place. I spoke with two psychologists before the one who diagnosed me, and neither of them saw Asperger's in me (though neither seemed to know what it was, either), but one did suggest looking into bipolar. Though, to the credit of males with Asperger's, the only reason I knew to look into it was because I met a male Aspie. I'd never had so much in common with anyone in my life, even the ages at which we gave up on friends and the ages at which we were obsessive about books and the ages that we started to give up... everything just lined up. I even did an online diagnostic after my diagnosis just to see if I really could claim that diagnosis, and asked him to take it as well so I could compare - we got the exact same score. It was really weird, and kinda amazing to finally have someone with whom I had so much in common. If it hadn't been for him, I don't know if I'd ever have gotten my diagnosis, and I doubt I would have believed it. There's just such a difference between my diagnosis and how I've read Aspie males describing their experiences, etc... anyway, a girls' space just makes sense to me. There are so many resources that describe the male Aspie experience, but it's harder to happen across the same information for girls.. I don't know. I suppose a part of it, too, is that I've never managed to be close to a female; I've had 4 close male friends over the years, but I've always felt uncomfortable talking to girls - which is a serious problem because I become so attached to friendships, the guys often then misunderstand and expect a relationship, and shove me away when it doesn't happen. I need to learn how to talk to girls, and maybe Aspie girls would be an easier place to start? I don't know, I'm rambling, but yeah...this is something I really wanted to see here, so thank you for starting such a thread.
 
Welcome, Little Fiddle, and congratulations on your diagnosis! There's a book entitled, Aspergirls out there that I think would enjoy. You can relax now and quit asking yourself "What's WRONG with me?!". Absolutely nothing!
 
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