Just wanted to say hello

[nofu2603]

Hello
After a lifetime of not fitting in and not understanding why I am not like other people, I have finally figured out that I am on the spectrum, I never realized a person could be on the spectrum and not know it. I never realized there was a HF version, many things that have tortured me over the years suddenly make sense.
For years I have hated myself for all my failings and social inadequacy so it is very liberating to understand that my brain is just wired a bit differently form most other people.
I am hoping this forum will provide some friendly support, I have no friends, and can't speak to my family about this. Suffering in silence is definitely my thing so it will be nice to chat with people who understand.

 

[Judge]

Welcome to AC. We get you. Based on your post, I'm sure you will "get" us as well.

It's pretty cool to come here and be understood on a level many of us cannot achieve in the "outside world".

 

[Ereth]

Welcome to AspiesCentral, Nofu. Don't worry---you're among friends here.

 

[Brent]

Welcome, glad you were able to figure out how to post.

 

[Warwick C]

welcome NoFu to aspie central, you will get all the support you want and then some, and you may even make some friends through the forum

 

[Turk]

Hi Nofu, and welcome,
Finally knowing what you are answers many questions about ones past. Sharing it, gives you peace of mind. In sharing it here, the support is unconditional.
Cheers
Turk

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

You can be sure to call this place your second family. Everyone's quite supportive, and helpful here, so feel free to ask any questions you may have.

 

[Salmongirl17]

Don't worry; everyone is kind and nice here. we've all been through all of the things you described.
Welcome!!!

 

[nofu2603]

Hello
After a lifetime of not fitting in and not understanding why I am not like other people, I have finally figured out that I am on the spectrum, I never realized a person could be on the spectrum and not know it. I never realized there was a HF version, many things that have tortured me over the years suddenly make sense.
For years I have hated myself for all my failings and social inadequacy so it is very liberating to understand that my brain is just wired a bit differently form most other people.
I am hoping this forum will provide some friendly support, I have no friends, and can't speak to my family about this. Suffering in silence is definitely my thing so it will be nice to chat with people who understand.

Thank you for your kind welcomes, I have looked through a few posts and most of you appear to be younger than myself ( I am in my early 50's) are there any golden oldies out there who have just discovered they are on the spectrum?

I am a librarian in a senior position at work, among other things I am in charge of all bibliographic acquisition and management with a £500k budget but I have recently found out that I have discalculia and am border line dyslexic, bizarre. I only discovered this when I was working with a new colleague who used to be a special needs teacher and she spotted it right away. I also had glue ear as a child which left me with partial hearing, no one took any notice of that either. Academically I have always struggled and had to work hard but it is only now I realise the barriers I have had to overcome. As a child my parents told me I was odd and stupid, my teachers told me I was not capable of passing an exam, however I am blessed with a very determined temperament, if I want something I work until I get it so when I graduated with my degree that was the highlight of my life. ( I am married with 2 kids so I would never admit that out loud).

Is that a common feeling, do many of you feel that because you have to work harder for things than most people they mean more to you?

 

[GoofKing]

I'm sorry that you had to go through years of confusion and wondering why you were different than everyone else or why you never quite fit in. To be honest, I don't think my diagnosis really surprised me as I just sort of accepted that I was different from everyone else.

I always knew that I was different and I was definitely that weird kid who everyone picked one because I did or said weird things ...

Welcome to the community

 

[nofu2603]

I'm sorry that you had to go through years of confusion and wondering why you were different than everyone else or why you never quite fit in. To be honest, I don't think my diagnosis really surprised me as I just sort of accepted that I was different from everyone else.

I always knew that I was different and I was definitely that weird kid who everyone picked one because I did or said weird things ...

Welcome to the community

Hi Thank you for replying, I do not want to get an official diagnosis, at my age what difference would that make. What angers me though is that I have a nephew who is clearly on the autistic spectrum ( he is now 22) but has gone through his whole education without any one suggesting he be tested, he was just regarded as stupid and lazy, in this day and age that is so depressing.

Do you think your experiences as a child made you stronger as an adult? did your family accept you as you were or were they just as confused by you?

 

[Paige]

Hey

 

[GoofKing]

Hi Thank you for replying, I do not want to get an official diagnosis, at my age what difference would that make. What angers me though is that I have a nephew who is clearly on the autistic spectrum ( he is now 22) but has gone through his whole education without any one suggesting he be tested, he was just regarded as stupid and lazy, in this day and age that is so depressing.

Do you think your experiences as a child made you stronger as an adult? did your family accept you as you were or were they just as confused by you?

That would anger me too just to label someone like that and push him off into a group :| I guess you could say that I've always been in special ed because of failing grades and etc and because I don't think I really cared about education back then. I just cared about getting out of school.

Well if you mean learning from my past then I guess you could say that they made me a little stronger and a little wiser. I'm living with my dad because of that thing that happened with my Aunt's boyfriend where I was nearly beaten with a bat and I can't really blame my mother for wanting to get rid of me because of all the stress and how dangerous I was...

My dad's a lot more understanding of me and I suspect that he may be on the spectrum, but like you I guess, he doesn't see the need for a diagnosis at his present age.