l Confess☺

[Aspychata]

l told my boss that l was yelled at pretty harshly by the cook. I went home and rethought , and decided that it was a good thing that l reported it. Also l decided l would deal with any of the ramifications that came my way. This isn't the first time he has yelled but he was screaming so loud that my brain just shut off.

Today- this lady came forward and said he has yelled at several people and that he will be spoken to.

l am finding l am rolling along better with being jerked around by random people there and l am finally standing my ground. But it has been painful. I do feel there is a lot of competition for well paying jobs and this job is that.

Maybe this job has forced me to face the *bully* of every job, playground,brother, husband, father............

What have you vocally voiced recently that surprised yourself and you wish to comment about your new persona?

 

[Fino]

Someone forgot to pay me, and I pointed it out.

 

[unperson]

Chefs are often crazy yellers, it's a high stress job, but seems you got results.

 

[Progster]

I spoke out on my mum's behalf to a relative and had a very frank conversation with her, on the phone.

In a summer job I had, I had to share a room with two other girls. One of them started to have a boyfriend round all the time in the room, it was against the rules and it made me very uncomfortable, so I spoke to the boss about it. He sorted it out.

At university, I submitted a paper, and when I got it back it had comments that indicated to me that the professor hadn't really read my paper - they were just wrong. So I went to his office and pointed these out, and told him I thought my grade was unfair. He revised my grade

 

[SusanLR]

I've never found it difficult to come up with zingers to people who are insulting or rude.

In a waiting lobby at the doctor's a woman was really being annoying to the receptionist and
acting like a ditz.
She kept putting down certain government agencies, insurances and a certain political party.
An elderly woman in a wheel chair with her daughter was waiting to see the doctor.
She turned around and ask if they owned the van in the handicapped space out front that had
a candidate's vote for sticker on it.
They said it wasn't their's.

She said she wanted to thank whomever it belonged to because there were so many crazy
people in the world that thought the other way.
The world is just crazy, she said.
I was called in and I said, "and what makes the world crazy? People!"

Her chin dropped and she proclaimed she was very political.
I just went on in to the doctor.

 

[Giraffes]

I had a conversation with my daughter about the dynamics of our relationship and my wish for us to understand each other more, and she was open to this.

 

[Jonn]

Nope, got nothin'.

 

[Kalinychta]

I’m not good at speaking up/out. Not at all. But I’m very glad that you stood up for yourself.

 

[Jumpback]

Congratulations for standing up for yourself and having a wrong be corrected. It takes bravery to go against the system, especially if you might assumed to be strange.

That said, you mentioned

Maybe this job has forced me to face the *bully* of every job, playground,brother, husband, father............

Only men or mentioned. But my last 5 bosses have been 4 women and one man. One woman was fantastic, the guy was an ass but he wasn’t terrible. But of the three other women, two took me off of the schedule because they did not like me, making me basically jobless, but without the ability to collect unemployment, because this is what they could do because I didn’t actually do anything wrong. One of these admitted to having severe psychological issues, other had very obvious psychological issues, and the third one was just mean in general, especially towards me since undiagnosed autism and sues caused me to make mistakes and she would yell at me.

But I assume that if I became vocally upset at them, I might be considered a danger because they are women.

Almost all psychs I have dealt with over sexual assault issues are very liberal women and they haven’t been understanding. People ganging up on me around ex-girlfriend were all women or gay men. People ganging up on me on online support boards when I have tried to ge better are almost all liberal women and gay men who accused me of things before kicking me off for hate

Like imagine if I said, I finally stood up to ‘every bully, all the women psychologists and female bosses, girlfriends friends...both gay men and very libeal women and all women and gay advocates accusing and punishing me for trying to let go of the past on various online forums’

Like you right now have 7 likes and one friendly for standing up to men, where I imagine I might have questioning here and maybe accusations from some and just be banned and accused most other places that are far less even handed than here. That’s all Inam saying. I just cannot help that women standing up to horrible men, which I support and recognize as bravery, is a great thing, but I also cannot help but see that since my experiences are different, I might be more likely to get accused of things for basically standing up to exactly the same levels of injustice

 

[Jumpback]

Chefs are often crazy yellers, it's a high stress job, but seems you got results.

Yeah, I used to watch Hell’s Kitchen. Watching this has kind of left me confused. Getting yelled at for making an honest mistake is a strange thing to me, because it’s just likely to cause anxiety and therefore cause confusion and even more anxiety which is likely to cause other mistakes. But for some reason getting yelled at seems to help some of the contestants redouble their efforts and perform better. All this is pretty foreign to me...I can’t think of a time where when I have gotten yelled at for making an honest mistake or being misunderstood hasn’t made me enraged about the stupidity of the system and want to criticize the criticizer and rebel against the system. But harsh criticism on th program seems to sometimes help others focus better and get ‘back in the game.’ But all this pretty foreign to me even though it seems to be effective with some others

 

[clg114]

Since I have gained my "Grumpy Old Man" status, I do not have a problem speaking my mind to almost anyone. The exceptions are my wife and our youngest daughter. Two very strong minded ladies.

 

[Jumpback]

Since I have gained my "Grumpy Old Man" status, I do not have a problem speaking my mind to almost anyone. The exceptions are my wife and our youngest daughter. Two very strong minded ladies.

In my family growing up, I just experienced no abuse of women and the two examples of manipulation and meanness were from women being mean to men, then the men ignoring the mistreatment and remaining devoted to the women. Like my grandmother hid thousands of dollars from my grandfather, they found like $20,000 hidden in her room after she developed dimentia as well as secret bank accounts, and she was minorily abusive to my grandfather, but when she was in a nursing home, he visited her every day for hours, even after she no longer recognized him and was mean to him

Somehow, in some way, all my experiences are almost exactly backwards from social messages, but this results in punishments and torments and accusations against me because my experiences are just inconvenient.

Like strong minded women is a good thing and not putting up with things is a good thing

But like when ones experiences are exactly opposite, is it hate for mentioning the differences and so on? Like would you have given as much lee way to you daughter if she was a male....

 

[Thinx]

I just don't see anyone much now I have left work, plus with covid issues currently. But I am writing a piece with a theme of diversity issues which I hope to publish, and have published some previous articles on this based on my experience and research, as well as teaching others about these issues on trainings.

 

[Thinx]

Wow triplet messages again, think it's the poor signal here, I keep tapping then it sends 3... oops.

 

[Aspychata]

Wow triplet messages again, think it's the poor signal here, I keep tapping then it sends 3... oops.

Went thru that mutiple postings ride also.

 

[Thinx]

In addition to diversity issues for minority groups and for non minorities that are disempowered by many cultures, such as women, there are issues where the situation is different in a way that can be harmful to someone perceived as being in a majority group, plus that details may sometimes be suppressed.

I know something that worked that way has affected you personally very much, and I am sorry for what you have been through.

The reality is that most situations where harm is done come about where the perpetrators are more powerful than the victims, in whatever way that happens. Power corrupts and is misused. None of us unfortunately is incapable of harming others, even if its simply through negligence or being too comfortable to take notice of abuses.

 

[tree]

REMINDER

OP's topic premise:
"What have you vocally voiced recently that surprised yourself
and you wish to comment about your new persona?"

If your developing insight pertains to laws, the judiciary, or events
involving police please use Politics Discussion
for that commentary.

 

[Aspychata]

In addition to diversity issues for minority groups and for non minorities that are disempowered by many cultures, such as women, there are issues where the situation is different in a way that can be harmful to someone perceived as being in a majority group, plus that details may sometimes be suppressed.

I know something that worked that way has affected you personally very much, and I am sorry for what you have been through.

The reality is that most situations where harm is done come about where the perpetrators are more powerful than the victims, in whatever way that happens. Power corrupts and is misused. None of us unfortunately is incapable of harming others, even if its simply through negligence or being too comfortable to take notice of abuses.

Think these are important points. I have stepped back and try to look at the bigger picture and how things tie together. I defintly put myself out there for complaining about the cook but now l can live with myself. When l don't stand up for myself, then l slow burn and disintegrate inside. I have done some woman studies coursework. So l applaud your choice of content and the complexities of the intertwining issues we face as minorities. Yes, the hand that controls can be powerful, but if freedom is your only motivation, then the hand is somewhat powerless in the end.

 

[clg114]

In my family growing up, I just experienced no abuse of women and the two examples of manipulation and meanness were from women being mean to men, then the men ignoring the mistreatment and remaining devoted to the women. Like my grandmother hid thousands of dollars from my grandfather, they found like $20,000 hidden in her room after she developed dimentia as well as secret bank accounts, and she was minorily abusive to my grandfather, but when she was in a nursing home, he visited her every day for hours, even after she no longer recognized him and was mean to him

Somehow, in some way, all my experiences are almost exactly backwards from social messages, but this results in punishments and torments and accusations against me because my experiences are just inconvenient.

Like strong minded women is a good thing and not putting up with things is a good thing

But like when ones experiences are exactly opposite, is it hate for mentioning the differences and so on? Like would you have given as much lee way to you daughter if she was a male....

Yes, yes I would. I didn't say they were mean or manipulative, just strong minded and it serves them well.

 

[Aspychata]

In my family growing up, I just experienced no abuse of women and the two examples of manipulation and meanness were from women being mean to men, then the men ignoring the mistreatment and remaining devoted to the women. Like my grandmother hid thousands of dollars from my grandfather, they found like $20,000 hidden in her room after she developed dimentia as well as secret bank accounts, and she was minorily abusive to my grandfather, but when she was in a nursing home, he visited her every day for hours, even after she no longer recognized him and was mean to him

Somehow, in some way, all my experiences are almost exactly backwards from social messages, but this results in punishments and torments and accusations against me because my experiences are just inconvenient.

Like strong minded women is a good thing and not putting up with things is a good thing

But like when ones experiences are exactly opposite, is it hate for mentioning the differences and so on? Like would you have given as much lee way to you daughter if she was a male....

It's abusive if it's male or female. However l have dealt with a lot of male abuse. It maybe because l don't belong to the right clique of people and l am content to be alone a lot. But l notice when l go out, l keep it together. l don't meltdown because somebody is intrusive (male or female). And today, l spoke to the cook as if nothing happened. So l am learning to let go and move on, an important coping strategy. Maybe this job is way better then the last job.