Lack of motivation when it comes to adulting.

[Metalhead]

It feels like even though I am getting work done with the whole work from home situation, my motivation has taken a massive nosedive. While I still do shower every day, I often spend the hours working in my pajamas, then watching television or playing video games. I stopped bothering to keep my place clean due to social distancing meaning most people do not bother to visit these days. My enthusiasm for adulting is now non existent. I would like to get some of that spark back.

I guess you could say I have been experiencing a low grade form of depression. Not nearly dreadful enough for me to be a danger to myself or others, but just low enough to stop caring about basic self care for the most part. If that makes any sense.

I am wondering if I should talk about this with my psychiatrist, but a part of me doubts he can do much seeing as I theorize this depression is situational due to recent social distancing measures.

 

[BrokenBoy]

but a part of me doubts he can do much seeing as I theorize this depression is situational due to recent social distancing measures.

Ever heard of adjustment disorder with depressed mood?

 

[Metalhead]

Ever heard of adjustment disorder with depressed mood?

Nope, but I will google that right now.

EDIT - I do not want to self diagnose, but what I read about it just now sounds pretty much about like what I am currently dealing with. I will see if I can talk with the psychiatrist earlier than my next scheduled appointment which is in a month and a half from now.

 

[SusanLR]

I will talk with my therapist about this too.
Never heard of it, but, it certainly sounds like what I've felt like since loss of parents in 2013.
But, the anxiety has subsided some.

And, yes, since I've been staying inside so much due to the pandemic,
I've gotten the same way. No ambition.
I make myself do useful things everyday, but, it is like an effort.
The more I isolate, the more I want to. Think I could sleep all day.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I've been living with depression for a long time now - and self care, chores etc fell by the wayside long ago. I try - because if I don't try at all, I feel worse. But what I do and what I get done is often a bare minimum.

Of course, nobody wants to live in filth - and I make an effort once a week to make things tidy. Me and my partner said in our next place we need a dish washer. If we can automate some of the cleaning - that would help.

A big thing for me is how much stuff we have stored in boxes etc. I feel justified to suggest that we've lived in our house 3 years and some stuff has spent it's life in storage - we can get it down a charity shop as it's not needed. Unfortunately my partner is sentimental about all these things I want rid of.

I don't like clutter. When I see images of modern/minimal interior design - I love it. No clutter anywhere. Simple, elegant furnishings.

My partner buys stuff on Amazon multiple times a month. Boxes arriving every week, lots of tat that gets used a handful of times and then gets added to the pile of sh*te we don't use anymore. That feels like one of the biggest differences we have - whilst we both enjoying buying things: I prefer high end purchases once a year or so, whereas she prefers quantity over quality. I remember a few years back she kept complaining her shoes were falling apart - it's because for years she went to a budget clothes store and bought "bargains" which lasted a few months. Fed up with the complaints I dropped a couple of hundred on a pair of hand made boots for her which have lasted over 2 years now.

It's tough to feel motivated when you feel down though. It feels like often you have to force yourself to do things. Try a bit each day with regards to chores etc - that way you don't end up with a pile to do on a weekend etc.

I get it though - sometimes I have a good routine, other times I have no structure whatsoever. Constant peaks and troughs.

There seems like we put a lot of emphasis and expectation on the "doing" side of life as opposed to the "being." I get so caught up fixating on what I need to do, what I have to achieve etc. Rather than taking stock of what I have and appreciating it.

I don't know - sometimes I think it's all very well to appreciate what you have, but if that's all you did, wouldn't you get complacent and stagnate?

Feels like this was a bit all over the place, sorry.

Ed

 

[Misery]

I will talk with my therapist about this too.
Never heard of it, but, it certainly sounds like what I've felt like since loss of parents in 2013.
But, the anxiety has subsided some.

And, yes, since I've been staying inside so much due to the pandemic,
I've gotten the same way. No ambition.
I make myself do useful things everyday, but, it is like an effort.
The more I isolate, the more I want to. Think I could sleep all day.

I'm going to give the same advice that I always try to give, when it comes to this sort of thing.

Three aspects to it:

1. Just doing the work... or forcing yourself to do the work... isnt going to solve a problem like that. You're merely forcing yourself to go from a dreary state into something that is, in itself, inherently dreary, but in a different way. It's as if you decided that the best way to overcome the unpleasant feelings of being stuck in the house was to go outside during a particularly slimy and unpleasant rain storm.

You need more than just that. As I always say, the mind needs something to really occupy it. Something positive, not something brain-meltingly dull. Try a hobby instead. Get into something new that is going to fire up your enthusiasm, and that will add more variety to your daily life. Something that gets the ol' brain cells excited.

This sort of idea is important even in normal times, but it's even more important now, with the pandemic causing everyone to be stuck inside alot. But the good thing is, the technology to pursue such things even despite that now exists, and getting the tools necessary to do any given hobby is as simple as merely accessing the internet and using, I dunno, Amazon or something.

Simply staying stuck in a rut is just inherently bad for you. That is a fact. Creating alternatives to that rut, thusly, can only help.


2. Drink lots of water. LOTS. No, I dont care if you dont enjoy doing it. Bloody well do it anyway. Dehydration has both massive physical *and* psychological effects. It drains your energy, but it also drains your mood and mental state. Worse, we usually dont realize when we are dehydrated. Even worse, we tend to substitute other liquids for that water and think that somehow it magically does what water does (spoiler, it doesnt).

I cant even describe to you how much of a difference this one makes. You have to experience it for yourself.


3. Do you drink? At all? If you do.... dump it. The alcohol. ALL of it. Every... last... bit. It is very literally a depressant. It produces only the *illusion* of positive effects, while in reality it makes you slower, dumber, clumsier, and more depressed. Those are, very literally, its effects. Even if you do find some solutions that CAN help your mood, help you get out of that rut... alcohol will utterly cancel those beneficial effects. I say this as someone who has been forced to watch it happen a million times over, transforming happy, brilliant people into unhappy drones that just sort of slog through the day, with them then always wondering why they have to be like that. It is not a fun thing to observe. My mother and stepfather both went through this ridiculous transormation, and it only reversed when my patience with it finally snapped and I essentially screamed at them for 10 minutes about it. Turns out I can be incredibly loud when needed. That was not fun either, but the necessity of it was just one of the many problems that alcohol provides. I dont drink even a single drop myself, never have, yet I still had to deal with the effects it produces. That, too, is something to keep in mind.



And as for those first two points, well, I say those as someone who went through it. I've been where you are now. After a massive anxiety attack... one of the worst I've ever had, and the result of all of that crushing unpleasantness bearing down on me for too long... family members stepped in to sort of force me out of that rut. Bringing real variety into my life... variety that could excite and enthuse the mind... was what did it, and the water drinking sealed the deal.


Every time I give this advice I rather expect nobody to listen, but dagnabit that wont stop me from trying. I'm bloody stubborn that way.

 

[Metalhead]

I'm going to give the same advice that I always try to give, when it comes to this sort of thing.

Three aspects to it:

1. Just doing the work... or forcing yourself to do the work... isnt going to solve a problem like that. You're merely forcing yourself to go from a dreary state into something that is, in itself, inherently dreary, but in a different way. It's as if you decided that the best way to overcome the unpleasant feelings of being stuck in the house was to go outside during a particularly slimy and unpleasant rain storm.

You need more than just that. As I always say, the mind needs something to really occupy it. Something positive, not something brain-meltingly dull. Try a hobby instead. Get into something new that is going to fire up your enthusiasm, and that will add more variety to your daily life. Something that gets the ol' brain cells excited.

This sort of idea is important even in normal times, but it's even more important now, with the pandemic causing everyone to be stuck inside alot. But the good thing is, the technology to pursue such things even despite that now exists, and getting the tools necessary to do any given hobby is as simple as merely accessing the internet and using, I dunno, Amazon or something.

Simply staying stuck in a rut is just inherently bad for you. That is a fact. Creating alternatives to that rut, thusly, can only help.


2. Drink lots of water. LOTS. No, I dont care if you dont enjoy doing it. Bloody well do it anyway. Dehydration has both massive physical *and* psychological effects. It drains your energy, but it also drains your mood and mental state. Worse, we usually dont realize when we are dehydrated. Even worse, we tend to substitute other liquids for that water and think that somehow it magically does what water does (spoiler, it doesnt).

I cant even describe to you how much of a difference this one makes. You have to experience it for yourself.


3. Do you drink? At all? If you do.... dump it. The alcohol. ALL of it. Every... last... bit. It is very literally a depressant. It produces only the *illusion* of positive effects, while in reality it makes you slower, dumber, clumsier, and more depressed. Those are, very literally, its effects. Even if you do find some solutions that CAN help your mood, help you get out of that rut... alcohol will utterly cancel those beneficial effects. I say this as someone who has been forced to watch it happen a million times over, transforming happy, brilliant people into unhappy drones that just sort of slog through the day, with them then always wondering why they have to be like that. It is not a fun thing to observe. My mother and stepfather both went through this ridiculous transormation, and it only reversed when my patience with it finally snapped and I essentially screamed at them for 10 minutes about it. Turns out I can be incredibly loud when needed. That was not fun either, but the necessity of it was just one of the many problems that alcohol provides. I dont drink even a single drop myself, never have, yet I still had to deal with the effects it produces. That, too, is something to keep in mind.



And as for those first two points, well, I say those as someone who went through it. I've been where you are now. After a massive anxiety attack... one of the worst I've ever had, and the result of all of that crushing unpleasantness bearing down on me for too long... family members stepped in to sort of force me out of that rut. Bringing real variety into my life... variety that could excite and enthuse the mind... was what did it, and the water drinking sealed the deal.


Every time I give this advice I rather expect nobody to listen, but dagnabit that wont stop me from trying. I'm bloody stubborn that way.

Yeah, I hate to admit it, but my consumption of beer has increased ever since this social isolation started. I will give up the beer then. And the cannabis indica.

I have been working on writing movie and anime reviews, but the fact is I really miss hanging with my RL friends as often as I used to.

 

[Jumpback]

I'm very inspiration driven, if I get excited about something my whole perspective changes. If I am stuck doing things I hate with nothing to look forward to, I get depressed and can get to the point where I cannot function at all.

Having other people around seem to tend to even everything out. The negative is that other people can get in the way of inspirational drives, but they distract and normalize things to keep depressive moods from getting too out of hand

Like great works of art and novels are written when one is by oneself, but other people also seem to keep one from getting to the point where cutting ones own ear off seems like a good idea (Van Gogh)

 

[Aspychata]

This has been a real test for us. Going through all of these changes. Try not to beat yourself up too much.

You haven't fallen into the quicksand, you are just sorta dancing around it. You have come through a lot of*truths* about your family. There are some dark days but you just sorta keep plugging along. You have made some effort to get a healthy place. Don't give up the fight. The finish line is yours but you have to stay in the race.☺