Lacking expression.

[NB79]

I think i learned people listen more to what you express rather what you say,
something about the 'spirit' of your expressions and voice etc.

Even if you say to them that they should pay attention to what you say carefully, understanding the meaning of the words,
they probably still are not going to get what you are trying to say.

Sometimes i feel, some person breaks a nail, and everybody goes 'ah look what happened!!' and then
i could be going through something really strong lets say, and i can't even get a reaction.

I believe this has caused me so much pain when trying to make myself understood, about feelings etc.

What do you think?

 

[jsilver256]

Yeah. I once did something to my foot. I needed to make a flight in a few hours, and I couldn't walk without extreme pain.

So I went to urgent care, communicated, I need something to help with this foot. I did it with a perfectly straight face.

"It really hurts" with a deadpan face must not be effective, because the nurse immediately asked if I wanted drugs. I said no, I said I literally couldn't walk, I don't know what's wrong but I got to get something to stabilize it. So she reluctantly led me to the X-Ray.

After taking the X-Rays, she rushed in all sympathetic and made me get in a wheelchair. That's when I knew I'd broken bones there. Go figure.

A little special shoe and I made my flight no problem.

 

[vergil96]

I believe this has caused me so much pain when trying to make myself understood, about feelings etc.

Same

 

[FayetheAspie]

I know that people hardly ever seemed to notice if my Mama or myself got sick, hurt, ect. when we were at the job I mentioned before, but other people would be offered to go home early when they did not feel well.

 

[Angular Chap]

I think i learned people listen more to what you express rather what you say,
something about the 'spirit' of your expressions and voice etc.

Yes, that's nicely put. There is the issue of the tone of communications, but I like your idea of the spirit.

Also, about people listening more to what you express rather than what you say, I learned that if I forget to say please and thank you, people still call me polite as long as my tone is polite. Conversely, some people say please and thank you, but be rude by saying it in an aggressive or sarcastic or condescending tone.

When talking to people, I have problems with expressing some things because my default tone is quite deadpan. If I try to fake the correct tone, I risk coming across as sarcastic, further upsetting people.

I also sometimes have problems understanding other people's tone. I can do it a lot of the time (sometimes only through luck and guesswork), but there is still a risk that I will misinterpret someone else's tone.

Even though a lot of the tone is lost when communicating by text only (well, a few emojis can help!) I always feel comfortable talking on this forum because I've been here a while, it's a lovely place so I know there is pretty much a guarantee that anyone who talks to me intended to be polite and respectful. There is also far less pressure. I can take my time to make sure I am also being polite and respectful in return.

 

[All-Rounder]

Yes and based on the tone of your voice or if you have a crack in your voice you didnt intend, it can basically change the meaning of what you're trying to say.

 

[Alexej]

I remember the phrase from Hannah Gatsby "I have not told my face what I feel"