• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Late diagnosis and family denial

Plant13

Plant13

Member
My dad passed away 4 years ago. I was 53. Coincidentally I read an article on Asperger's, whatever we call it these days, and I was first devastated for my dad, and second amazed that I was just like my dad. Skip to excited, happy revelation to family. Skip to firm, angry shoving back on that concept from the family. Skip forward, spending week ends with my surviving parents 2 years and exhibiting every symptom and more shoving back and denial. I was RIGHT THERE. At the table, in their face, being me. Are they angry because they missed it all these years? Why is my brother so angry? I worked in the studio sanding toothpicks and sorting rocks happily for days on end and yet, denial. Does it matter if they are angry?
 
It doesnt matter if theyre angry.

They maybe want to remember him in their own way and feel threatened by your revelations.
Its just a natural reaction they're having.
You're first in line to the new way of thinking, you can forgive them and let it go.
Grow into yourself, youll be hapier and more relaxed which will benefit everyone.
My 2c :)
 
THEYVE gone to shock-> anger very quickly o_O coping mechanism probably !?
when they accept then they will o_O, i pray they do :-)
 
Fridgemagnetman said:
It doesnt matter if theyre angry.

They maybe want to remember him in their own way and feel threatened by your revelations.
Its just a natural reaction they're having.
You're first in line to the new way of thinking, you can forgive them and let it go.
Grow into yourself, youll be hapier and more relaxed which will benefit everyone.
My 2c :)
Click to expand...
Hit a nerve. No, I just got hold of it, I'm not letting it go. I cleaned house, metaphorically, and cleaned out my head. My brother, I don't even send his checks back. Under my carpet. I don't have his voice in my head any more. He's never going to forgive Dad but he never understood. My other parents, well, I started therapy at the Gestalt institute in Cleveland when I was 7. I have had decades of bad therapy. Ever heard of Shep Genandes? The School We Have in Concord Mass? We did lots of mescaline and silver crafts....McLean Hospital? 9 months of screaming LET ME GO I'M A LITTLE KID....14...just saying. I was in the care of possibly 50 mental health workers before I was 17. How did they all miss it? I'm looking for records now and AMAZING-none available. Yet. I don't think angry is inappropriate, its a mission to find my past. I missed it.
 
Plant13 said:
Hit a nerve. No, I just got hold of it, I'm not letting it go. I cleaned house, metaphorically, and cleaned out my head. My brother, I don't even send his checks back. Under my carpet. I don't have his voice in my head any more. He's never going to forgive Dad but he never understood. My other parents, well, I started therapy at the Gestalt institute in Cleveland when I was 7. I have had decades of bad therapy. Ever heard of Shep Genandes? The School We Have in Concord Mass? We did lots of mescaline and silver crafts....McLean Hospital? 9 months of screaming LET ME GO I'M A LITTLE KID....14...just saying. I was in the care of possibly 50 mental health workers before I was 17. How did they all miss it? I'm looking for records now and AMAZING-none available. Yet. I don't think angry is inappropriate, its a mission to find my past. I missed it.
Click to expand...
Benefit everyone? I've been 1000 miles away and a secret since 1992 and its time to benefit ME. Factor in my age, 57. Mother is 80-whatever she's lying about, and I've been isolated for 3 decades. I'm not real concerned about anyone but myself any more. Selfless is what my friends would call me. 'how can I help?' is how I answer my phone. No, I'm hearing a lot of do what you aren't built to do, think like them. Nu-uh.
 
Plant13 said:
Benefit everyone? I've been 1000 miles away and a secret since 1992 and its time to benefit ME. Factor in my age, 57. Mother is 80-whatever she's lying about, and I've been isolated for 3 decades. I'm not real concerned about anyone but myself any more. Selfless is what my friends would call me. 'how can I help?' is how I answer my phone. No, I'm hearing a lot of do what you aren't built to do, think like them. Nu-uh.
Click to expand...

Good.

They either missed it or they didnt care or cant face the reality of what theyve done.
You have to live for yourself.
Walk the line,without straying into bitterness.
Use your anger to set yourself free - they wont help you.

Thats more what i meant by letting go.

Dont be afraid of sounding off and saying whatever is on your mind on here, no one will take offence. :)

Sorry for hitting the nerve! But thats part of progress, i guess.

Theres been a thousand kind of awful experiences behind the people on these boards.
Welcome and keep fighting!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom