I'm new to the forum today. After a very long and difficult life (I'm 68 yo) I learned a few months back that I have autism. I've noticed that autists are typically in their 20's or early 30's when they receive a 'late-in-life' diagnosis. I've not yet seen posts from others as old as I am, and wonder how rare it is to learn so late in life.
I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was to discover the root of my lifelong alienation from the rest of the human race. "What's wrong with me?" "How can I hide it?" "How can I fix it?" All these began to take on a different hue: Autism is what's 'wrong' with me, it can't be fixed, you'll never be more than slightly successful in hiding it.
These are the things I'm dealing with as I reevaluate my entire life... for instance, I always have blamed my weirdness on my mother for not protecting me from my older brother who harassed me constantly. Now I can see myself as the little kid in the middle of the carpet who screams and cries whenever anybody disturbs me. Reevaluating an entire lifetime later has been almost as exhausting as trying to keep a levelheaded conversation going with an emotion-laden NT.
That's where I'm at, and wonder if others with a truly late-life diagnosis can lend me some perspective as I deal with this.
I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was to discover the root of my lifelong alienation from the rest of the human race. "What's wrong with me?" "How can I hide it?" "How can I fix it?" All these began to take on a different hue: Autism is what's 'wrong' with me, it can't be fixed, you'll never be more than slightly successful in hiding it.
These are the things I'm dealing with as I reevaluate my entire life... for instance, I always have blamed my weirdness on my mother for not protecting me from my older brother who harassed me constantly. Now I can see myself as the little kid in the middle of the carpet who screams and cries whenever anybody disturbs me. Reevaluating an entire lifetime later has been almost as exhausting as trying to keep a levelheaded conversation going with an emotion-laden NT.
That's where I'm at, and wonder if others with a truly late-life diagnosis can lend me some perspective as I deal with this.