Hidden_1
Member
Hello All;
At 64 I am surely older than almost everyone here. I first learned of Aspergers a few years ago and after some research began to see much of myself in the descriptions. I joined an online group operated by an social worker experienced with Aspergers and in the discussions became convinced I am most likely "on the spectrum". I cannot afford to get a formal diagnosis and at my age it would add nothing to my life. All the online tests I take point to over 80% possibility of Aspergers. I call myself self-diagnosed.
I was raised in a time when very few people recognized personality issues as possible mental illness. I was also raised in a lower income family and did not receive any professional help for the problems I had. I had a multitude of problems as a child and my stepfather "treated " me by beating me. He was never able to change my core but his efforts did teach me to keep my real self hidden. I spent my entire life keeping my differences internal and presenting as normal external appearance as I could. As I got older I became better at control and real me rarely escaped. When it did there was never a good outcome.
A couple of days ago I found a YouTube video where "Aspergers Meltdown" was described. Now I know why I had the escapes that negatively impacted my life.
I hope to share more of my story on this forum if anyone is interested. Just communicating my feelings about my life makes me feel better about myself for the first time in my miserable life.
Thank you.
At 64 I am surely older than almost everyone here. I first learned of Aspergers a few years ago and after some research began to see much of myself in the descriptions. I joined an online group operated by an social worker experienced with Aspergers and in the discussions became convinced I am most likely "on the spectrum". I cannot afford to get a formal diagnosis and at my age it would add nothing to my life. All the online tests I take point to over 80% possibility of Aspergers. I call myself self-diagnosed.
I was raised in a time when very few people recognized personality issues as possible mental illness. I was also raised in a lower income family and did not receive any professional help for the problems I had. I had a multitude of problems as a child and my stepfather "treated " me by beating me. He was never able to change my core but his efforts did teach me to keep my real self hidden. I spent my entire life keeping my differences internal and presenting as normal external appearance as I could. As I got older I became better at control and real me rarely escaped. When it did there was never a good outcome.
A couple of days ago I found a YouTube video where "Aspergers Meltdown" was described. Now I know why I had the escapes that negatively impacted my life.
I hope to share more of my story on this forum if anyone is interested. Just communicating my feelings about my life makes me feel better about myself for the first time in my miserable life.
Thank you.
