Learning to Read Body Language (and ending up overly-dependent on that skill)

[IbiPatria]

One of the things I would often talk about with my therapist a few months ago was the fact that since one of my interests, and I mean a big one, was learning all I could on non-verbal communication, body language, facial/microfacial expressions and developing a ear for shifts in tone of voice (which was easy with the multilingual and choir/pitch distinction 'skills.')

It's one of the reasons the Asperger's diagnose was so slow in coming and also why my family is still shocked. But if you ASK me to not analyse anything about the person? I panic. I can't. I don't know what to do. I don't socialise as most do and go with the flow, I analyse it all and given what I've studied/researched things are easier. Though, now the issue is being so very dependent on consciously doing it all as well as anticipating things/calling BS when I know it's happening.

I know that my life experiences have played a big role. My areas of interest and intense focus were just those to lead me to where I am and also, as I'm learning/reading now...I'm a 'global nomad'/TCK (AKA I've lived in 4+ countries, have dual citizenship yadda yadda). We're apparently known to be chameleons (arising from all the relocations across cultures and having to adjust.)

I was wondering what you guys thought or if you wanted to share any of your own views?

 

[Asperger96]

I have studied body language, and it doesnt jUst help socialy, but it helps as an actor

 

[Kadevilbig]

If you wish to learn how to read nonverbal cues I can help you there I was diagnosied with Asperger's at the age of ten and more recently I was lucky enough to stumble across the method for developing that skill and why in autsim and Asperger's it dosent always develop properly. Basicly It starts with genetics baby's have a spefic gene that casing them to turn look at there mothers face when they here here vocie also there is a gene the makes eye contact and looking at faces a d listening to tone of vocie rewarding this ensures the abilty to read bodly Launguage develops. Basicly babies look people in the eyes and observe other faces and build schemes of partners stranger vs. parent face different facial expressions with out an emotion tied to it basicly memorizing differnet patterns of faces without knowing what that facial expression means. This happens in the occipital lobe on the right side of the brain involved in visual processing. Also tone of vocie is a aspect of nonverbal cues listening to voices asking yourself is this a vocie I know or a strangers and then listening and obsreving differnent tones this happens in he temporal lobe on the right side of the Brian involved in auditory processing. Then when a baby hears a vocie the pair that vocie to the face of a person this connected the two lobes and is called the occipital-temporal Gyrus and this guys connects to the limbic/emotional system and the patterns of faces and voices you built can now have an emotion tied to them hence ability to read body lanuage knowing what emotion goes with a particular face or tone of vocie. You want to get comfortable with eye contact first so why you interact with people you can observe there expressions both when there talking and when you are talking. It's not something that can be done with a book or memorizing photos or flash cards it needs to be while interacting.

 

[Christian T]

I have studied body language, and it doesnt jUst help socialy, but it helps as an actor

As a drama student, I have always found myself closely observing the vocal and physical expression of people around me and have often come quite close to replicating it. Many Aspies apparently struggle with interpreting non-verbal emotional expression. On the contrary, I think I've always been quite adept at this, but my difficulty lies in deciding what to do after I've interpreted the emotion. For instance, I can easily sense if someone is frustrated or upset, but I rarely know how to placate them or comfort them.

 

[Sparticus]

Shalom,

I have a similar thread. It was painted as politically incorrect. But please feel free to share any ideas you might have. I'd be very interested!
I wonder if body language is deemed more politically correct than face reading or if the people who represent those who "lean," stand funny or have other bad body language will attack this thread?



http://www.aspiescentral.com/friend...-face-reading-eastern-europe-help-aspies.html

facial/microfacial expressions...

I was wondering what you guys thought or if you wanted to share any of your own views?

 

[GallacticGorilla]

I have the exact same problem. When you learn the basics of reading body language and tone, in some ways you can read it better than an NT. Its just very conscious though, while a NT would do it unconsciously.They say 90% of communication is non-verbal anyhow. So , alot of the time i can tell instantly if someone is being genuine or not,or lying, or trying to impress me. Lying and BS is bad, but i particularly hate when people try to validate themselves to me or impress me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable, and makes me want to immediately disengage them.

I know that sounds slightly arrogant. I swear I am like the nicest person in the world! But, I know what you, mean, I have a similar issue.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Shalom,
those who "lean," stand funny or have other bad body language will attack this thread?

I wish NTs would stop reading too much into my body language. "Are you okay?" They always ask.
I think Yes. The reason I was sitting with my feet on my chair and my face in my lap was because I feel comfortable that way, and also because I was trying to have some privacy by blocking everything out. The last thing I wanted was for some person to intrude and express worry. But I know you mean well.

I wish they would not read so much into my body language, because they get it wrong.

The only person who gets it right is my probably-Aspie friend.

The best book I ever read on body language states that before you read body language, you must be familiar with that particular person who's body language you are reading. You must know that person's "baseline." Otherwise you will misinterpret.

 

[nowwhat]

I'm OK with faces, though I have issues recognizing people, but I suck at reading body language.

 

[Ylva]

NLP-reprogram yourself to be okay with it when people "********" each other, maybe? Certain kinds of bullshitting, anyway. Your sig says you're not easily offended, so you must have some familiarity with not-caring in social situations.