Lecturer thinks I have depression and ADHD not burnout

[vergil96]

I already described how the current term is overwhelming for me, socially among other factors. There is this one lecturer who I know from previous courses and who I managed to talk to about some of my difficulties. I have a few days left now, yes, still not all deadlines are over. This lecturer helped but seemed to suggest depression and ADHD to me. I really don't feel like going into details, I just said I have health problems - am exhausted, my hair is falling out, have other issues - and that I think I'm likely to get sick and not be able to come to the campus, but still complete the work. ADHD fine - I fidget and change positions all the time, it's obvious. Although I expressed my anger at doctors that didn't acknowledge that my hearing problems are organic, not a result of "not trying/listening/concentrating". The term is ending, a new one will begin, she said to contact all the teachers - I'm not keeping up with it, it takes me long to come up with what to write in an email or to take notes what to say in class. I'm not depressed, I just forgot to eat and drink enough, because I was too busy. I'm exhausted. (And I have the flu or covid now) I wonder if this will come up again and what I'm supposed to say. She kept on mentioning neurodiversity and autism during her lectures, although I doubt she knows a lot about it, she mentioned it as a social difficulty, and I doubt she knows what she's looking at, but I really don't want to have this conversation.

 

[MildredHubble]

Are there any counsellors at your college/university? Often there will be organisations attached to the college but basically independent that you can talk to when things are getting difficult and you have specific or complex needs. They can often sit down with you and go through things and help you talk to your lecturer about what might help you get through challenging times. If there's a student services department or something similar they could probably help put you in touch with the right people.

 

[vergil96]

Are there any counsellors at your college/university?

There is one and I don't like her and it's impossible to make an appointment with her, because she seems to misunderstand emails. I think she might not get ASD either, because she writes off-topic answers to simple questions or she might have a simplistic and stereotypical view of autism.

I hoped this lecturer would be more helpful, because she's communicative and willing to help. Although she either is convinced that finished talking when I did not or is impatient with rants and wants to go home. I could be plausible to write an email, but I have no clue what the purpose of the email would be supposed to be.

 

[WereBear]

Autistic Burnout is often misdiagnosed. And it's hard to find someone who does "get it" so I turned to Youtube. The Pandemic blew up my precarious balance and now I'm groping my way back.

Lots of protein and real food has been an incredible help. Personally, I need far more protein than "recommended." When you are sick shoot for 1 gram of protein per pound of your healthy body weight.

I'm convinced the Neurodiverse might need more amino acids. Eat complete, animal, protein. I can't digest plants that well -- maybe I'm sick, maybe I'm sensitive -- and controlling oxalate is much easier that way.

We can't be understood with neurotypical approaches. Nearly killed me. Don't mess around.

 

[Rodafina]

seemed to suggest depression and ADHD to me.

If you choose to be forthcoming with a professor to explain your difficulties, that is one thing, but it seems like a bit of an overstepping of their role to be actually offering ideas about specific conditions like ADHD and depression.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by saying that they "seemed" to do this. But, I think a more appropriate response from a professor would be to encourage you to address these things with some sort of mental health professional. Unless you stated these things are a problem for you, the lecturer should not be suggesting them.

 

[MildredHubble]

There is one and I don't like her and it's impossible to make an appointment with her, because she seems to misunderstand emails. I think she might not get ASD either, because she writes off-topic answers to simple questions or she might have a simplistic and stereotypical view of autism.

I hoped this lecturer would be more helpful, because she's communicative and willing to help. Although she either is convinced that finished talking when I did not or is impatient with rants and wants to go home. I could be plausible to write an email, but I have no clue what the purpose of the email would be supposed to be.

(Sorry, forgot to push the post button, I intended to send this hours ago) That sounds very frustrating It can be very irritating when someone assumes they know the nuances of your experiences and kinda dictate reality rather than have it explained to them so they can learn.

I wish I could think of something else to suggest. I think maybe having a good advocate would be helpful. Basically someone who your lecturer would have to meet halfway.

Do they have a student union there? Here in the UK the students union are pretty much in every college and university. I'm not sure if it's the case where you live? It might be worth looking into.

 

[marc_101]

I already described how the current term is overwhelming for me, socially among other factors. There is this one lecturer who I know from previous courses and who I managed to talk to about some of my difficulties. I have a few days left now, yes, still not all deadlines are over. This lecturer helped but seemed to suggest depression and ADHD to me. I really don't feel like going into details, I just said I have health problems - am exhausted, my hair is falling out, have other issues - and that I think I'm likely to get sick and not be able to come to the campus, but still complete the work. ADHD fine - I fidget and change positions all the time, it's obvious. Although I expressed my anger at doctors that didn't acknowledge that my hearing problems are organic, not a result of "not trying/listening/concentrating". The term is ending, a new one will begin, she said to contact all the teachers - I'm not keeping up with it, it takes me long to come up with what to write in an email or to take notes what to say in class. I'm not depressed, I just forgot to eat and drink enough, because I was too busy. I'm exhausted. (And I have the flu or covid now) I wonder if this will come up again and what I'm supposed to say. She kept on mentioning neurodiversity and autism during her lectures, although I doubt she knows a lot about it, she mentioned it as a social difficulty, and I doubt she knows what she's looking at, but I really don't want to have this conversation.

I assume you don't live in the US. I'm a professor in the US so the rules may not apply to your situation, but here faculty are discouraged to make accommodations for students or discuss personal issues. We need to refer them to the disability office (which comes in many names). They are the ones who can ask about diagnosis documentation and decide on appropriate recommendations, which are them communicated to faculty. I can't ask students to disclose that information. If they do it, it's fine, but it's always tricky. If I make an accommodation for one student, I have to do the same for all. Ironically, I've been criticized by a few students for not being understanding of people with disability, which was both wrong and offensive. But the rules are there to protect students' privacy and prevent abuse. As faculty, we often hear the craziest excuses and made-up disability.

So, whether you like the person or not, it's their job to work with you; don't lean on professors. Go to the office of disability or equivalent in person and explain what accommodations you need. Be prepared to show documentation. It's their job to communicate with professors. I just get a letter saying this person needs this accommodation with no reason provided. Autism burnout is not a recognized diagnosis, but autism, clinical depression, ADHD, or learning disabilities are so you're entitled to reasonable accommodations.

 

[vergil96]

If you choose to be forthcoming with a professor to explain your difficulties, that is one thing, but it seems like a bit of an overstepping of their role to be actually offering ideas about specific conditions like ADHD and depression.

We have a half-friendly relationship.

But, I think a more appropriate response from a professor would be to encourage you to address these things with some sort of mental health professional.

She did, I said therapy doesn't do much for me and didn't go into further details. I said what I need, namely that I might get sick and might not be able to attend classes in person if that happens. It's not stress, I didn't eat and drink enough (the health problems stopped since the Christmas break), I have poor interoception.

It can be very irritating when someone assumes they know the nuances of your experiences and kinda dictate reality rather than have it explained to them so they can learn.

I didn't explain further, because I fear misunderstanding. Nobody understands that I don't feel things such as hunger, thirst, pain. Then someone would be looking for other causes such as stress, it's not a question of stress, it's just out of people's comprehension. I have had this conversation a million times and it doesn't end with understanding, despite other people's best intentions.

She seems to also have the wrong ideas about autism or at least to have knowledge about more common manifestations than mine.

Do they have a student union there?

No, none.

I'm a professor in the US so the rules may not apply to your situation, but here faculty are discouraged to make accommodations for students or discuss personal issues.

If someone has e.g. the flu, they get a notice from a doctor and have to speak and send it directly to the teachers or lecturers whom it concerns, unless it's about exams, then to the deanery with a request to take the exam on a different day. I'm not aware of any accommodations available at all. I have a friend who had to struggle a lot with the deanery to let him take a break during the exams for health reasons, even though he had all the documents. In general, the university is nice and teachers are devoted to teaching and willing to help, so the default path is to talk to the teachers. I can't think of unusual requests I might have and I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing or asking for - that's the problem. I hope for the best next term, but it's reasonable to assume that I will have some kind of health issues again, for a yet new reason until I get a job and will have a stable environment that would allow me to work online part of the time. Of course it would be the best to prevent the health issues in the first place, but short of graduation (hopefully in a couple of months), I have no idea what to do. I feel like articulating your needs and finding solutions is a very important skill in life and it's going to be useful at work as well.

By a disability accommodation, I would understand e.g. longer deadlines, breaks during exams, more time during exams, submitting written tasks instead of giving presentations. That's none of what I would need (I'm a straight As student) and my problem is that I don't exactly know what I could or should ask for, because the situation isn't typical. Some of the things I need and request from the teachers are available without any proof for them from a doctor: changing time when you have the class to a different group, requesting written materials, working individually instead of in a group sometimes. You can listen to music and have headphones during individual work as well. Also, even though I've been frequently told that my presentations are bad, because I read from a piece of paper, I have received good grades for them this year and it has been a beneficial experience, because I got the chance to practice without being harshly criticized. Lots of little things are accessible and it makes the university student-friendly.

So, whether you like the person or not, it's their job to work with you;

The problem is: she doesn't know that and she isn't communicative. She's a psychologist. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she isn't aware of health issues. And maybe she's the wrong person to go to. But it's not like there is a specific disability service or anyone who deals with health issues specifically. I could go to the deanery but then what? The email or what I would read aloud if I went there in person or during a phone call is more or less that:
- I have health issues and might not be able to come to classes in person, just online, some classes require you to go in person this term (the lecturer I mentioned said to contact the teachers personally and talk with them about the situaiton, or email them and that it shouldn't be a problem)
- I have an issue with the irregular schedule for health reasons, so I would really like to have a more regular schedule - buuuut, from my experiences in the past, they can't do much about it, I would have to talk to teachers to choose different groups, which isn't a problem, the problem is that certain classes take place only during certan times
- I'm hard of hearing and I have issues with some teachers, who don't give written instructions (I also got told to talk with the teachers personally, but it doesn't always work, because if the environment has poor acoustics, I can't hear them, I have trouble communicating at all with some people because of this and I don't know how to explain what the problem is so that the teacher will talk in a manner that is comprehensible for me in terms of sound qality, because he mumbles and the acoustics in the classroom is poor)
- I don't understand what I should be communicating about points 2 and 3 to be understood and helped

Perhaps the solutions for me have nothing to do with anything official, but I have no idea what they would be. "Just talk" doesn't pass the exam
- if I get ignored and someone thinks I finished talking when I didn't and leaves the conversation
- if I can't hear
- if the other person doesn't understand that some people have hearing issues and what that is about and doesn't repeat what they said louder and more clearly or doesn't leave the noisy place
- if I don't know what to say in order to reach someone or don't know what their understanding of the situation is if I want to debunk it. I feel like I'm explaining alien issues and alien concepts

 

[vergil96]

I have a feeling like I'm missing some kind of communication thing, but it's not obvious for me what it is or what I should be doing. This is my natural response to the situation, I feel like I explained my issues and needs, perhaps, something requires more explaining or "marketing" as I like to call it, but I don't know which part and how to convince the staff - I noticed many times that my communication style is too concise for many people and they fail to absorb the information if I don't "put on a show", but usually, it's not clear to me what requires "behavioural reinforcement" or clearer explanations for them and what doesn't. I sometimes get told that I throw something unclear and leave and hence "don't communicate", but nobody would elaborate on something they think is obvious or self-explanatory. At other times, I get told that I elaborate too much on obvious things. I hope this explanation made sense...

 

[Tom]

Is your professor's specialty psychcology, mental health, etc? If not it's just another person's opinion.

To say therapy didn't work for you probably means one of two things, that the therapist was not a good match for you (or perhaps not a good therapist) or you weren't willing to do the work/make the effort needed on your side. Therapy isn't like a medication - take the pill and you are done.

It really sounds like you are unwilling to do much (or anything) about your own health (not eating/sleeping, etc) or if there are clinical issues (depression, ASD, ADHD, whatever) unwilling to do anything on that side to get the other side (eating, etc) going again.

 

[vergil96]

It really sounds like you are unwilling to do much (or anything) about your own health (not eating/sleeping, etc) or if there are clinical issues (depression, ASD, ADHD, whatever) unwilling to do anything on that side to get the other side (eating, etc) going again.

excuse me?

 

[vergil96]

that was rude

 

[vergil96]

i don't know where you get this idea but you're treating me like a liar and that's not okay

i'm not going to be patient if someone says I'm lazy, a cheater, a liar...

wtf

i'm not going to elaborate on that, that's accusatory and hostile

 

[Judge]

I'm just wondering if this is a professionally practicing psychologist in good standing, or simply one with degrees in psychology as an instructor? It may explain a great many things, particularly in the realm of professional liability. Which may ultimately reflect much more about them, and very little about the OP.

In essence, asking for psychological advice from an instructor and not a formal medical professional may potentially compromise them and their employer relative to civil and professional liability concerns.

That for most any academicians, their employer would contractually demand that they give no professional medical advice to anyone, especially a student. Where an educational institution could be unintentionally exposed to the liability of an entire hospital. Which might explain an instructor being civil to the OP, yet not provide advice of any real substance at the same time.

Leaving the OP confused, while leaving the instructor to walk a "tightrope" between professional demands as a psychologist and contractual ones as an academician. When it comes to your mental health, it's best to seek the help of a medical professional and leave your instructors alone.

To my knowledge, professional medical liability and professional indemnity insurance for institutions of higher education are still private sector matters- even across the pond.

 

[Tom]

Lazy about taking care of yourself, perhaps. But I said nothing and lying or cheating. I thinl you invented those to have more reasons to be offended.

Now if you spent as much effort taking care of yourself and your mental health as you do being offended and writing long explanations of your issues, maybe you might see some improvement.

 

[MildredHubble]

I didn't explain further, because I fear misunderstanding. Nobody understands that I don't feel things such as hunger, thirst, pain. Then someone would be looking for other causes such as stress, it's not a question of stress, it's just out of people's comprehension. I have had this conversation a million times and it doesn't end with understanding, despite other people's best intentions.

She seems to also have the wrong ideas about autism or at least to have knowledge about more common manifestations than mine.

I think I kinda know how you feel here. Sometimes the longer I try to go on explaining something, the further away we get from what I was actually trying to convey.

I think sometimes people have biases and when they consider themselves an expert they don't want to hear or "filter out" things that don't confirm their biases. This is why I think you could do with someone to help communicate who kinda has to be listened to, basically someone as qualified as your lecturer is, or perhaps more so.

I've run into a similar problem in my recent history where the people I was trying to communicate with had developed a particularly egregious bias against me, mostly because they didn't follow procedure and built up a crazy false belief about me. Everything I said to them was filtered through that bias so to put it another way, nothing I said would penetrate their thick skulls. Even when they were confronted with irrefutable evidence that they were wrong, they still tried to maintain that bias.

This stopped happening when I had someone with me that could help me advocate for myself or advocate for me when needed.

Are there any local charities that might be able to help? Maybe some kind of support group that could offer you, well, support when you next talk to your lecturer?

 

[vergil96]

I'm just wondering if this is a professionally practicing psychologist in good standing, or simply one with degrees in psychology as an instructor?

None of that. Just a proffessor of a field that borders on psychology.

When it comes to your mental health, it's best to seek the help of a medical professional and leave your instructors alone.

I'm not seeking any medical advice. Although I might see where the impression might be coming from - if you start *describing* what happened to you, but it's not a flu, but a long term health problem, it can seem to some people as if you were asking for advice, when you're not. That's one of the reasons why it's better to ask for specific things that you have a clear idea about.

I wanted to ask what I should and could do when it comes to dealing with the university and abscences. I don't get construcrive advice from medical professionals and perhaps this isn't a medical problem, but a social problem. I'm trying to communicate with mediocore effects.

I think sometimes people have biases and when they consider themselves an expert they don't want to hear or "filter out" things that don't confirm their biases.

This might be the case

This is why I think you could do with someone to help communicate who kinda has to be listened to, basically someone as qualified as your lecturer is, or perhaps more so.

I don't have such a person or *that* close friends. I also have zero idea about charities, I tried to google at some point but without positive results. Support groups neither.

Everything I said to them was filtered through that bias so to put it another way, nothing I said would penetrate their thick skulls. Even when they were confronted with irrefutable evidence that they were wrong, they still tried to maintain that bias.

This stopped happening when I had someone with me that could help me advocate for myself or advocate for me when needed.

I remember you mention it on the forum. I'm glad something worked out in the ens.

 

[MildredHubble]

I tried to google at some point but without positive results. Support groups neither.

Im really sorry that there doesn't seem to be any support where you are.

Are there any national support groups that might be able to help? There may be some that can travel to meet you, maybe you could communicate on zoom or something similar to begin with, or maybe just email. I assume you are in the US? I hope you can find someone to help, it must be very frustrating when there's not much support in your area

 

[vergil96]

I assume you are in the US?

Nope. EU.

Are there any national support groups that might be able to help?

They're geared towards people with higher support needs. As it was already mentioned, it would be the best to get help at the university and if there were disability services... God I wish I had more influence on the schedule and the communication.

 

[Judge]

Nope. EU.


They're geared towards people with higher support needs. As it was already mentioned, it would be the best to get help at the university and if there were disability services... God I wish I had more influence on the schedule and the communication.

You mean Poland, correct?

I've been here a long time yet don't recall any participating members from Poland. Reading the NIH assessment of autism in Poland seems positive, but it also may reflect certain problems that we in the US also encounter.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10066150/
The incredibly concerning issue of those of us with certain difficulties that a diagnostic process which may ignore or overlook. Especially those of us with ASD-1 status. Leaving us at the mercy of medical and educational establishments who treat us like everyone else, expecting us to rigidly conform to administrative policies. Though in the case of the US, we do have some degree of protections such as the American Disability Act. Though in terms of absentee concerns, I'm not even sure how far the ADA can help us with such an issue.

Does this more or less explain your dilemma? I just imagine any number of "hardline" educational administrators who take a "no prisoners" attitude towards absentee matters, regardless of social or medical circumstances.

Though for what it's worth, I'd still recommend you deal directly with the administration rather than instructors. To respect and show them you are trying to follow protocol rather than circumvent it through instructors.