I left an edm online group yesterday of a modern artist I really enjoyed.
A prominent member reached out to me through e-bay of all places and we ended up connecting and meeting a few times. He knew that edm didn't have too many East coast fans and I didn't live too far from him. Eventually, he brushed me off with his literally hundreds of contacts. I sadly felt this might happen, but I felt I didn't have much to lose by meeting this person. I never felt unsafe around him.
There was another prominent member of the group who was an admin of the respective group on a social media platform. We didn't vibe well, but basically he was near the West coast and eventually got a girlfriend, and I was on the East coast. Yesterday, he made fun of a comment I made in response to a person who said they were looking for a certain item. I said that I had such an item but that I would be selling it for a high price. This admin then jumps in the conversation and sends a meme of a person painting themselves as a clown. Everyone can see this who is in the group.
I ended up deleting my response, which deleted his response to my response in turn. I then added a post which said
" If you're going to be intentional in making fun of someone, this can contribute to some of the problems you have seen on the news. . . .We all want to be and feel included pretty much. My personal and social boundaries have been crossed too many times without proper positive reciprocation. The slight emotional attack on me recently has made me feel like I am less of a human being if I stay here. It's not okay. All things considered, I need to take a step back. I wish you all well. "
I blocked this user on as many accounts as I could find him on afterward and left all social media platforms related to the artist that I knew I was on.
The culture of limiting highly valued items on relatively high prices, while it gave a certain classy aura, I feel it also bred the lack of empathy provided in the community. Everything was like an invisible competition of "I have this and you don't" and it was a competition I never personally tried to be involved in.
There was also an invisible trust created in the community to share or sell things for cheap, and I unintentionally didn't vibe well with those aspects. I did make a few purchases via being in the group, and I enjoy them a lot for what they are (a lighted neon sign of band and a rare vinyl single as I felt I was that much of a fan.) During the communications both times, it was overly impersonal, and one of them didn't always get back to me promptly and I had to keep reminding him. It was a difficult balance between not wanting to piss off the person too much and lacking some trust. There was a vibe of trust where people would pay via PayPal via a gift. In the back of my head, I knew that if I didn't get what I paid for that I would be okay and could take that risk and the person would be banned from the community. But the lack of enough quality communication from those sales and after awhile, from the guy who introduced me to the online group made me feel like I don't "owe" anyone anything to sell items for a cheaper price. I guess it would've been better to PM that person rather than put as a comment that "I have this item brand new, but I would ask for a high price." Another argument is that me being able to be transparent about that in front of a whole community would actually make things more comforting to do a transaction with me potentially.
Now, I just want to try to gather most of my stuff together related to this artist and just sell it off, but at a really great price, especially since I'm not really able to use most of it anyway. Hopefully someone else could gain happiness from it and that I could have a slight nest egg to rest on.
I feel like I've gone through this kind of stuff in my life waayy too consistently, usually not to this extreme, but it seems we live in a crueler world now. Balancing interpersonal relationships is been multi-layered and complicated. I want those deeper social connections, but I want them more natural and not forced either of course. .
A prominent member reached out to me through e-bay of all places and we ended up connecting and meeting a few times. He knew that edm didn't have too many East coast fans and I didn't live too far from him. Eventually, he brushed me off with his literally hundreds of contacts. I sadly felt this might happen, but I felt I didn't have much to lose by meeting this person. I never felt unsafe around him.
There was another prominent member of the group who was an admin of the respective group on a social media platform. We didn't vibe well, but basically he was near the West coast and eventually got a girlfriend, and I was on the East coast. Yesterday, he made fun of a comment I made in response to a person who said they were looking for a certain item. I said that I had such an item but that I would be selling it for a high price. This admin then jumps in the conversation and sends a meme of a person painting themselves as a clown. Everyone can see this who is in the group.
I ended up deleting my response, which deleted his response to my response in turn. I then added a post which said
" If you're going to be intentional in making fun of someone, this can contribute to some of the problems you have seen on the news. . . .We all want to be and feel included pretty much. My personal and social boundaries have been crossed too many times without proper positive reciprocation. The slight emotional attack on me recently has made me feel like I am less of a human being if I stay here. It's not okay. All things considered, I need to take a step back. I wish you all well. "
I blocked this user on as many accounts as I could find him on afterward and left all social media platforms related to the artist that I knew I was on.
The culture of limiting highly valued items on relatively high prices, while it gave a certain classy aura, I feel it also bred the lack of empathy provided in the community. Everything was like an invisible competition of "I have this and you don't" and it was a competition I never personally tried to be involved in.
There was also an invisible trust created in the community to share or sell things for cheap, and I unintentionally didn't vibe well with those aspects. I did make a few purchases via being in the group, and I enjoy them a lot for what they are (a lighted neon sign of band and a rare vinyl single as I felt I was that much of a fan.) During the communications both times, it was overly impersonal, and one of them didn't always get back to me promptly and I had to keep reminding him. It was a difficult balance between not wanting to piss off the person too much and lacking some trust. There was a vibe of trust where people would pay via PayPal via a gift. In the back of my head, I knew that if I didn't get what I paid for that I would be okay and could take that risk and the person would be banned from the community. But the lack of enough quality communication from those sales and after awhile, from the guy who introduced me to the online group made me feel like I don't "owe" anyone anything to sell items for a cheaper price. I guess it would've been better to PM that person rather than put as a comment that "I have this item brand new, but I would ask for a high price." Another argument is that me being able to be transparent about that in front of a whole community would actually make things more comforting to do a transaction with me potentially.
Now, I just want to try to gather most of my stuff together related to this artist and just sell it off, but at a really great price, especially since I'm not really able to use most of it anyway. Hopefully someone else could gain happiness from it and that I could have a slight nest egg to rest on.
I feel like I've gone through this kind of stuff in my life waayy too consistently, usually not to this extreme, but it seems we live in a crueler world now. Balancing interpersonal relationships is been multi-layered and complicated. I want those deeper social connections, but I want them more natural and not forced either of course. .
