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Living in an Aspie Girl World

balsabonbon

balsabonbon

artist • poet • reader
V.I.P Member
Hi---

I'm new here. Yes, I imagine that goes without saying. I find these intro posts to be the most difficult posts to write. It's simply not possible for me to sum myself up in a little box and come anywhere close to hitting on who I really am. I find that I generally end up with a hodgepodge of random bits and doodads that really don't mean much instead.

Some of the little things that make up who I am include---

  • I'm honest to the point where it makes life difficult for me. As a result, I tend to shy away from sharing much about myself with others, or to be more specific, I tend to not share the pieces of me that form my core and that really matter to me.
  • Most of my coworkers, acquaintances, neighbors, etc. tend to feel that I am open with them and that I like them quite a lot. I don't feel that it's a bad thing to be friendly to people, but it does tend to end up with them thinking that I like them quite a bit more than I actually do. They always seem surprised when they ask me to socialize with them and I turn them down. Shallow and short surface level interactions are doable, but it's a rare person whom I find interesting enough to go deeper with.
  • I've felt like an outsider my entire life. There has never seemed to be anyone anywhere who was like me. I mean, I've made connections. I've had relationships. I've had friendships. Yet, I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in through a frosted window pane. I honestly can't really even say that I wanted to come in from the cold, because being inside was every bit as bewildering as being out in the cold. I've just always been "other" and haven't fit in.
  • I'm hoping that I will be able to go a little deeper here with a level of anonymity that I haven't had anywhere online in a long time. It's not that I have a large dark secret that I'm hiding or anything like that. It's just that I value my privacy, and at the end of the day, I want to curl up with my special someone and not have to worry about the rest of the world. They're not there in my inner circle, in my private castle, because they're not invited.
  • Home has only very recently started to become a safe place for me. A series of poor choices and disturbing people have threatened my peace and quiet and wreaked havoc on my heart. This is a starting over point for me, and I'm happy to be more isolated and also more safe and happy. Life is starting to finally be good.
:herb::herb::herb:
 
253eb27190f09a187bb43c958c2aa8da.png
 
Welcome!

I think you'll find a bunch of people here who can help you feel at home, and can relate to your experiences. I know from my daughter that growing up as a female Aspie is a very tough experience that is almost impossible to get right, but maybe we can at least give you a place to talk about what matters to you.

This is one of the very few places I've been where I feel at home. I hope you find it to be the same.
 
From what you've written, I suspect you'll find that you have a great deal in common with many of us here. Welcome to AF.
 
Welcome! :) I'm kind of the polar opposite of you with regards to privacy and anonymity: I tend to tell the whole world about myself, with no shame in my game. Not saying that you have any shame in who you are, just saying that I've always been transparent and I don't feel like I have anything I need to keep private. Hope this makes sense :) I guess this is a part of what makes us all unique from one person to the next, and makes for an interesting world!
 
Hi Balsabonbon,

Welcome to our little island of sanity amongst the greater sea of NT madness :P I hope you will, in time, find AC a place where you can unwind and be who you want to be.

P.S Thanks for formatting your post so it was easy to read. :)
 
balsabonbon said:
Hi---

I'm new here. Yes, I imagine that goes without saying. I find these intro posts to be the most difficult posts to write. It's simply not possible for me to sum myself up in a little box and come anywhere close to hitting on who I really am. I find that I generally end up with a hodgepodge of random bits and doodads that really don't mean much instead.

Some of the little things that make up who I am include---

  • I'm honest to the point where it makes life difficult for me. As a result, I tend to shy away from sharing much about myself with others, or to be more specific, I tend to not share the pieces of me that form my core and that really matter to me.
  • Most of my coworkers, acquaintances, neighbors, etc. tend to feel that I am open with them and that I like them quite a lot. I don't feel that it's a bad thing to be friendly to people, but it does tend to end up with them thinking that I like them quite a bit more than I actually do. They always seem surprised when they ask me to socialize with them and I turn them down. Shallow and short surface level interactions are doable, but it's a rare person whom I find interesting enough to go deeper with.
  • I've felt like an outsider my entire life. There has never seemed to be anyone anywhere who was like me. I mean, I've made connections. I've had relationships. I've had friendships. Yet, I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in through a frosted window pane. I honestly can't really even say that I wanted to come in from the cold, because being inside was every bit as bewildering as being out in the cold. I've just always been "other" and haven't fit in.
  • I'm hoping that I will be able to go a little deeper here with a level of anonymity that I haven't had anywhere online in a long time. It's not that I have a large dark secret that I'm hiding or anything like that. It's just that I value my privacy, and at the end of the day, I want to curl up with my special someone and not have to worry about the rest of the world. They're not there in my inner circle, in my private castle, because they're not invited.
  • Home has only very recently started to become a safe place for me. A series of poor choices and disturbing people have threatened my peace and quiet and wreaked havoc on my heart. This is a starting over point for me, and I'm happy to be more isolated and also more safe and happy. Life is starting to finally be good.
:herb::herb::herb:
Click to expand...

Welcome aboard! I would love to hear moee about what you wrote in your last paragraph because I suspect that you and I might being going through the same thing.
 
Hi & Welcome,
I'm not an Aspie Girl, but I relate to what you say about liking polite friendly aquaintences but not beyond that normally. And it has been a problem sometimes at work and such as people misread your intent, think you are being stuck up, etc.
 
Hello and welcome. I relate to much of what you have mentioned about yourself. If you happen to enjoy playing word games, and you haven't already found it, there is a games sub-forum that tends to be quite relaxing and fun. The music thread is also, a nice, easy-going place to interact, share music, and just hang out while becoming familiar with the forum, which is something I quite enjoy doing, when here. Anyway, welcome and hope to see you around.
 
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