• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Living with older parents that struggle with technology

Jorg

Jorg

Well-Known Member
So, I'm 29yo and I'm still living with my parents, mostly because I'm in college and hopefully this year I will graduate and find a job. Have you stuggled with your parents or other olders wihen it comes to tecnology?

My parents are 67 and 64 yo, and as the "tech savy" in the family, and the only son left living with them I have to help them a lot with their smartphones or tv's and it is getting really annoying for me. My parents didn't got smartphones until like a year ago, the were using old cellphones like the last Nokia's. And at least everyday I have to help them hang up a video call from whatsapp, or deleteing pictures...last week my mom was so scared after she did something with her phone and wanted to me to restore it to factory, she said there where messages popping up that she didn't send, etc, etc...at the end it was that she was seeing whatsapp status from people and she tought they were chats, I then explained to her what they were. My mother doesn't even open the bank emails even if they are legit pdf's sent by the bank.

With tv's, well at least cable company changed the digital decoder boxes and controls last week, I had to go like twice a week or more to any of my parent's tv because they pushed the wrong button and lost tv signal. I explained them what to do in that situation for like years and they never understood, it was a matter of maybe 3 buttons, and I explained them what and why was happening but they prefered to "memorize" a set of steps that don't work at all.

The problem is not having to help them it is the constant "fear and madness" that I had to deal with everytime they screw something, my mother becomes anxious and my father is like a really bitter guy, gets a little angry and I have to swallow their reactions, I really don't know what will happend the day I move to my own place...
 
I was in the same situation about 10 years ago, but, fortunately, they can deal with this stuff now. I agree. It is very annoying.

Have you tried showing them the tutorials that usually come with apps, smartphones, and TV’s?

They seem not wanting to learn. Is that right? If so, you could explain to your parents how much it annoys you, and that you will be worried about them when you move out.
 
I'm your parents' age (65) and I have a lot of trouble with technology too. Part of it is our brains learn less well with age. Part of it is I can barely read a lot of the instructions, even with strong correction reading glasses. Sometimes I even have to hold a lighted magnifying glass to read instructions.

One thing you might try is explaining your annoyance and asking if you could schedule tech help sessions say an hour every week, and solve all their issues at that time? (the frequency is arbitrary)
 
My own children can empathise with you :)

They are highly entertained when myself or their father mess things up with technology.

To them, smartphones, computers and apps are so simple. It's a world they've grown up with, using these gadgets every day.

I don't tend to ask for much help from them. If I can't find the answer online, I wont bother using the gadget or app. It isn't that important to me.

Their fathers favourite phrase is
"show me again"
after the second, even third demonstration and explanation of how an app works, I can see the child rolling their eyes, sighing and getting frustrated.

There's plenty of help and trouble shooting sites online for your parents to use after you've moved out?
 
I have relatives who cannot set up their own computers or even install software. Twenty something nephews and nieces who play games all day long, but don't know what a command line is. Never mind my parents when it came to vcr's or electronics of any kind. It didn't annoy me to help them.

So if they asked me for the seventh time how to program the vcr or electronics, I showed them without rancor. Pleased to be able to help them in some way.

I respect my parents, all that they accomplished in their lives, all they gave to their children. So you may have knowledge of things that they do not, but they also know many things that you may never understand.
 
Last edited:
My mum (64) got her first smart phone for christmas, I quite enjoy helping her with it, and I'm grateful when my dad (75) asks for help with his tablet because helping him out is far better than listening to him shout at it. I find it pretty funny that two retired computer scientists struggle so much with them. On the occasions I get a little frustrated I just remind myself of all the things they have helped me with over the years and that without them and their colleagues developing earlier computers we wouldn't have smart phones today.

Maybe when you get annoyed try changing how you are thinking about the situation. Instead of thinking about being irritated, think about how grateful you are that they are still around to ask silly questions, or how rewarding it is to be able to provide some support to the people who have supported you for so long, or how you get to feel clever for knowing things that they don't and getting to be the teacher for once.
 
After my mother-in-law had a stroke, she would get very confused about using the television remote control. I took a cell phone photo of her remote so that when she called us about how to "fix" her TV, I could tell her specifically which buttons to push on her remote to address the problem. That was a lot easier than driving to her house to "fix" the problem.

Since your parents are older and new to smart phone technology, I suggest you delete as many apps from their phones as possible. All they probably want is a plain, functional phone like their old phones in order to place and receive calls and texts. They most likely don't want or need all the lights, bells and whistles and endless apps available on smart phones.

Be kind to them. They won't be here forever and are surely grateful for your help. They aren't doing this on purpose to offend you.
 
Being a geek in my 60s, I don't focus much on any one particular age group.

Though at times I admit that it irks me that so many people of all ages tend to expect high technology to do everything for them, when in reality it can't.

So I constantly see all kinds of computer users constantly frustrated because they can only use an operating system or application "out-of-the-box". Where they never consider learning enough to be able to customize their software (and hardware) to function closer to their expectations rather than those who developed them in the first place.
 
Jorg said:
So, I'm 29yo and I'm still living with my parents, mostly because I'm in college and hopefully this year I will graduate and find a job. Have you stuggled with your parents or other olders wihen it comes to tecnology?

My parents are 67 and 64 yo, and as the "tech savy" in the family, and the only son left living with them I have to help them a lot with their smartphones or tv's and it is getting really annoying for me. My parents didn't got smartphones until like a year ago, the were using old cellphones like the last Nokia's. And at least everyday I have to help them hang up a video call from whatsapp, or deleteing pictures...last week my mom was so scared after she did something with her phone and wanted to me to restore it to factory, she said there where messages popping up that she didn't send, etc, etc...at the end it was that she was seeing whatsapp status from people and she tought they were chats, I then explained to her what they were. My mother doesn't even open the bank emails even if they are legit pdf's sent by the bank.

With tv's, well at least cable company changed the digital decoder boxes and controls last week, I had to go like twice a week or more to any of my parent's tv because they pushed the wrong button and lost tv signal. I explained them what to do in that situation for like years and they never understood, it was a matter of maybe 3 buttons, and I explained them what and why was happening but they prefered to "memorize" a set of steps that don't work at all.

The problem is not having to help them it is the constant "fear and madness" that I had to deal with everytime they screw something, my mother becomes anxious and my father is like a really bitter guy, gets a little angry and I have to swallow their reactions, I really don't know what will happend the day I move to my own place...
Click to expand...

I am older than your parents and I do not have a problem with new devices. Why? Because YouTube is my friend.
 
Try a little patience. When you were learning to do things, your parents had that time to help you. I remember struggling with not being able to tie my shoes. Multiplication tables, these seem to take forever in my mind.
So maybe you can try explaining it better and giving them compliments. Walk them through slowly instead of rushing, build up their confidence.
 
Last edited:
Switch off all of your technology, store it in a drawer for one week and don't use it.


If you get stuck learning how to function every day without technology,
ask your parents to show you how ;) :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom