Loneliness

[Gerald Wilgus]

To me, it seems on here there are people who are fine with isolation and those who desire connection but are stuck alone. I see some making progress (yes, you know who I mean, Tony), yet there are those still struggling and sometimes their pain is palpable. The New York Times has a series of articles about loneliness. Here is an interesting bit of information from an article that I linked (paywalled)
" . . . work demonstrated that the default network was larger in the brains of lonely people. This network is an area seated deep within the brain that lights up when we think about others, especially with respect to how we interpret their intentions.

Research has shown that a lonely brain is transformed. Neurotransmitters important for bonding and social connection go haywire. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, responsible for modulating stress, is hyperactive. The amygdala, which triggers our fight-or-flight response and helps process emotional reactions, is in overdrive: In previous studies, Dr. Cacioppo found that lonely people detect negative or threatening pictures and words in under 400 milliseconds. This might explain not only the sadness that accompanies loneliness but also the palpable sense of danger."
From Opinion | We Know the Cure for Loneliness. So Why Do We Suffer?

 

[Aspychata]

That's an interesting article.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

When a teen and young adult my loneliness was traumatic. Yet, and I don't know how I did it, but, at 28, I had rebuilt myself to take risks, and because of that, I met my spouse of 44 years when we were married one year to the day of us meeting IRL.

Before then I was risk averse, expecting rejection at every turn. When we met the stars aligned and we found ourselves harmonious in values, personality, and interests. I was ready to understand that luck favored the prepared.

 

[Gerontius]

When I lived in almost complete isolation in Connecticut I was always afraid and would carry a tire-iron or the crank handle from a car jack inside the sleeve of my jacket (I did not have a gun. At the time, I did not own a pistol, and I did not bring a shotgun to Connecticut because I was worried about either damaging a valuable weapon or getting depressed & shooting myself with it.) I lived in a pretty terrible apartment and was hyperactive on edge.

I'm a lot less lonely now, and, somehow, a lot less stressed and fearful. I'm still too hyperaware, and I know this because I'll overreact to perceived threats if alone but ignore them if I'm around one or two other people.

 

[Fino]

I crave isolation and constant social contact simultaneously. *explodes*

 

[Neonatal RRT]

To me, it seems on here there are people who are fine with isolation and those who desire connection but are stuck alone. I see some making progress (yes, you know who I mean, Tony), yet there are those still struggling and sometimes their pain is palpable. The New York Times has a series of articles about loneliness. Here is an interesting bit of information from an article that I linked (paywalled)
" . . . work demonstrated that the default network was larger in the brains of lonely people. This network is an area seated deep within the brain that lights up when we think about others, especially with respect to how we interpret their intentions.

Research has shown that a lonely brain is transformed. Neurotransmitters important for bonding and social connection go haywire. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, responsible for modulating stress, is hyperactive. The amygdala, which triggers our fight-or-flight response and helps process emotional reactions, is in overdrive: In previous studies, Dr. Cacioppo found that lonely people detect negative or threatening pictures and words in under 400 milliseconds. This might explain not only the sadness that accompanies loneliness but also the palpable sense of danger."
From Opinion | We Know the Cure for Loneliness. So Why Do We Suffer?

This makes a lot more sense given the fact that loneliness, at least in some people, is quite distressing. I know that everyone handles loneliness differently, I like how the author describes it as "a lonely brain" and how it is different than others. It puts things into a different perspective.

Thanks for the post.

 

[paloftoon]

Sometimes, I feel alone. Besides my family, maybe only my own good friends would do things like wash dirty underwear to get stains off because I'm not able to do that myself with certain types of stains. If someone is willing to do something to that extreme, that is one way to know someone really cares. I would want to do the same type of things for other people, but I would not want to feel taken advantage of either.

 

[AprilR]

I am trying to come to terms with loneliness. I am so used to no one helping me, and always being other people's" rock" that they depend on, yet whenever i need help no one is around.

I can't talk to anyone about my problems like autism, adhd, executive dysfunction, and suicidality, bc such topics are frowned upon where i live. I still want to make friends but people are too different from me for me to relate and even spending time with my single friend exhausts me after a while.

 

[Judge]

For me, isolation first and foremost is solitude.

Continuous solitude remains an acceptable tradeoff for a little loneliness from time to time. But then perfection of any kind doesn't really exist. At least not in my world. Besides, this may be as good as it gets under the circumstances. Most days I'm ok with that.

Besides, I'm much closer to my end than my beginning.

 

[Sherlock77]

Unfortunately I can't read the article

My thoughts? Pretty sure I've said it before, I generally consider myself to be a loner, but very rarely lonely

I have moments where I retreat, and also crowd moments, but I tend to prefer being in a crowd on my own, perhaps partially due to my photography... Observing and the photography is most effective when I can be on my own

Yet I also know other photographers who thrive the most in large groups, in that same crowd... That is definitely not me