Hello there,
I fell in love with the Australian show "Love On The Spectrum".
I am a software engineer and I am considering to create a product which should help adults on the spectrum to make new connections, find friends or even a partner.
Since I am not on the spectrum myself, I want to make new friends on here which can help me with my project. I would like to know more about your life and your challenges in life, what you are missing and what you need. It would be awesome if we could chat and I could ask you questions, which could help me to learn more about autism.
If you are interested, I would be very happy and you can text me a private message on here.
I applaud the consideration on this matter. I think a lot of people would be happier if they could have a long-term love in their life.
That said, obviously, there are many challenges with all of this. This requires some perspective and context,...because you are dealing with a much broader form of neurodiversity than the neurotypical population. You are dealing with a population with asymmetrical intelligences,...with the Asperger's variants, some combination of below normal, normal, and perhaps some very high intelligences all found within the same person. Many are stereotypically socially awkward for many reasons, mostly because of slight delays in processing all the verbal and non-verbal language cues, just struggling with small talk and introducing ourselves, let alone having a meaningful back-and-forth conversation. We often have difficulties with social and professional hierarchies. We often over share. We often speak in direct language, which may seem rude to others,...yet, "polite" indirect or "soft" language is seen by many of us as "deceptive",...and leads to distrustful thoughts. Usually we talk and you listen until you pull away and dismiss yourself,...we are aware of what you are doing. Many, because of their awkwardness, have had horrible childhood experiences, some have been taken advantage of in all sorts of traumatic ways,...emotional baggage. Some have poor connectivity and conduction between the hypothalamus and posterior pituitary,...the later producing the "social" or "love" hormones oxytocin and vasopressin. These hormones, if deficient, can lead to all sorts of anti-social behavior,...less likely to seek out friends and potential partners, less likely to maintain those relationships, they don't miss people, "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" behaviors. Perspective taking, the type of empathy that allows one to imagine "being in another's shoes" is often difficult,...yet many will wear their emotions on their sleeves, crying with a sad person, a song, a TV commercial. Yet, others, also find it safer to be stoic and stamp down our emotional responses because we have such a hard time modulating them,...when in doubt, be emotionally neutral. Some may be excellent writers,...but with below average verbal skills. Some are perpetually mentally exhausted, depressed, and anxious due to neurotransmitter and pro-oxidant/anti-oxidant imbalances. Some have poor modulation of voice, volume, and emotion. Some have sensory issues with photosensitivity, sounds are much louder to us, persistent ringing in the ears, some with visual snow syndrome, taste and smell may be some combination of hyper and hypo sensitivities,...and yet others cringe and withdrawal with physical touch. Some are extremely educated and some really struggled with formal education.
Young autistics generally want to be "normal",...until they have accepted themselves and realized that neurotypicals are probably more screwed up than we are. At some point, many will have some sort of identity shift, accept their "issues",...because being neurotypical might actually be worse than being autistic. At which point, we might not want to be "normal",...because "normal" behaviors have really screwed up the world. I am 54, and frankly, I tend to have a narcissistic view of things,...and look at neurotypicals as the ones who really need the help and therapies. Everyone on the spectrum is going to be at a different level with this.
There are many variants of autism as it turns out. So, unfortunately, trying to "keep things simple", in this case, might not work well. Too many variables,...more so with this population.
I could go on and on here, so I think, in terms of an app. it would likely have to have a long list of filters for the user to click on/off in order to find someone relatively compatible.
