Looking for input

[XArmyGirl]

Hello,

Our daughter was diagnosed with NOS & PDD. I felt something wasn?t right when she was just seven months. When I told a few family members they said they did not notice anything different. However they were not with her but maybe a couple hours a week when they visited. They said she was perfectly healthy, she is but she did things unlike ?most? children. She crawled at two months stood at five months and walked at seven months and ran and climbed by the time she was nine months. She had child safety latches aced before she was one. She rarely babbled or spoke until she was two. A couple of weeks after her second birthday she started speaking clear in full sentences.

She sees a specialist in the field of Autism and was diagnosed last fall. Now she is just 3.5 years old and starting some new behaviors. We want to hear from other parents and those with NOS PDD. We live in a small town without a lot of resources. I was disappointed when I spoke with schools and they wanted to put her in regular classes and perhaps special education classes. She already tests out of books for eight year old children. Why would a school want her in special ed where she would not be challenged? I hope some of you guys can offer some insight on our situation. Perhaps offer some advice or share your experiences. I?m also looking into home schooling? Does anyone home school out here in this forum?

Also I am curious how extended families reacted when you shared the diagnosis? Did they blame someone? Just deny anything was wrong or say it?s poor parenting? I do feel this is a blessing in disguise and not a curse. How do you explain to other family this will not go away and there is no quick fix, but if they want to help they can by helping stick to our routine, not try to force change. If we exit our routine it is very hard on our daughter. Thanks for your time.

XArmyGirl

 

[gallopingllama]

Hello,

I'm diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and was at a young age and grew up mostly in a small town and school was a struggle because the school system pretty much pressured my mother to put me in Special Education even though I excelled in most studies and tested high on various IQ and neuro tests.

The problem with Special Ed in my opinion is that often these classes are geared for low functioning students and as such the mainstream students will taunt and tease (bully) throughout Elementary, Middle and the first couple years of High School and further once you get into Special Ed the staff there will try to push meds or atleast that is what they did in my case and now most of the meds they were pushing on me when I was young have been banned for children due to safety concerns and long term effects (go figure).

I think a good idea for all parents is to educate themselves on Special Ed laws the ADA and try to avoid Special Education unless that is an accommodation your child needs. Special Education in most cases does not have a high success rate for high functioning students in fact I do not know one person who graduated high school in my class who was in Special Ed most dropped out and their situation worsened and I think the somewhat toxic combination of meds, bullying and parents not know what to do plays a role in this.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I agree with Bkerensa about Special Ed. Schools have a long way to go in my opinion before they are truly welcoming to all students.

One thing you will have to watch out for is that Special Ed is more about containment and control than helping children learn to be assertive and independent. I have spent most of my adult life trying to undo the conditioning I had in Special Ed which made me ripe for all kinds of exploitation. You want your child to learn to be proactive, not reactive; to be able to solve problems on his or her own rather than look to authority for answers, to think outside the box and take initiative. These are skills that will be in great demand in the 21st century workplace. Beware of the passive solution which is so often peddled. You will have to learn to fight for your child's soul and the right to be human. This is not a fight for the weak of stomach or faint of heart. Special Ed by its nature has a short-term outlook; you want to be thinking long-term. This is a life-long condition; it doesn't go away at 18 or 21 or whatever age is deemed adulthood.