Lost all my friends, feeling down

[Drake Marino]

As of today, my social life is completely gone. I remember on like, the last weekend of summer break 2013 I had created this gathering at the mall with me, and my social circle of my 3 close friends and boyfriend. Now, they are all gone. My boyfriend just left me out of nowhere for absolutely no reason, one friend started being a jerk to me when school started because he was embarrassed of being friends with a gay guy, the other just kind of disappeared because we went to different schools. And now finally, my last, best friend, has left me.
We had been friends for almost a year and had never fought before. Today was our first fight, and our last, because her petty, fake ass dropped me over one comment. Basically, what happened was, I was upset because people were avoiding me for no reason, I was venting to her about it via text, and she said to stop whining and being so dramatic. That irritated me, so I made a little sarcastic remark about her paranoia, not knowing it would cause her to flip ****. So after that, I got a text from her telling me to **** off and never text/call her again. I tried apologizing to her and telling her that I didn't know her paranoia was a sensitive spot for her, but she was not having, told me this was why I had no friends, and that she was going to delete my contact from her phone.
So right now, I am livid, hurt, and feel completely betrayed. I'd been a loyal friend to her for so long, and she dropped me over one petty little comment without even hearing me out. And on top of that she had the audacity to tell me to stop whining about having no friends, when I listened to her constantly moan about how this guy didn't like her back and didn't say a word about it. Maybe this time it was partly my fault, but as for the other 3, it's like they just randomly decided to not like me. Now, I'm just feeling completely alone, like I have no one to go to. Despite the many pathetic attempts I've made to socialize with people at my school, it's won me no friendships, so right now it's feeling like I'm going to be stuck without a social life for a while.

Honestly, I think it's fake that people will be like "I hope we're friends forever" or "You're my best friend and I will always be there for you" then when there's even one small fight, they're gone in a hot second. Friends stick together through thick and thin, what happened to that idea? lol. Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent.

 

[Ereth]

I know you're hurting right now, and I realize there's not much I can say to help. Here's my take on the people who dropped you:

1. Homophobe: Probably bowed to pressure from others, or has some conflicted feelings/insecurity about being friends with someone who's gay.

2. Disappearing friend: This one you really can't be angry about. Time and distance can change friendships. I haven't seen a lot of my school friends in years now. I do miss them. But I know it's not anyone's fault that contact is rarer---we're all living our own lives.

3. Paranoid girl: Clearly the one who, of the two who actually betrayed you, has the most personal problems to work out. I do think that your little comment about her paranoia didn't help matters, but if she's ditching you completely because of it, and even after you apologized, she probably would've found some other reason to do it anyway. I think she may have taken out some stress on you. She may cool down eventually. Hard to tell. But you probably need a more emotionally stable friend.

 

[Licorice]

I can understand the loss, since finding people who actually do stick together through thick and thin is hard. For what it’s worth, even social butterflies have told me that friends who aren’t “fair weather” are a rare find. If you’ve sincerely apologized and cared about hurting a friend’s feelings, then you’ve done your part and the rest is up to them.

Is it possible to talk to your friend who went to a different school over Skype and keep the friendship going?

I’ve had friends disappear, too, most recently and painfully a longtime online Aspie friend who worked with me on my writing and was illustrating an online series. One day he simply disappeared without warning, deleting even his Facebook and cutting contact with mutual online friends who were similarly confused. I wondered if it was something I said or something I did for a long time, but felt better when I heard that I wasn’t the only one left behind.

I have no idea why he did this or even if he’s alright, as he talked about suicide occasionally, but life’s had to go on. I've since scrapped his contributions and continued our projects alone.

 

[nowwhat]

No one finds more than a very few real true good friends in an entire lifetime, though the term is thrown around a lot. Be patient, this is a lifelong project you're working on.

 

[Christian T]

It's always deeply saddened me to see a friendship that looked so promising fail to withstand a seemingly undemanding test, but people do tend to go their separate ways and it soon feels as though you're next friend is going to be a lifelong soulmate. I have just recently left high school and have basically lost contact with everyone in my year who I thought was close to me.

Drake, I have a feeling that in a few months you and I will have a new group of friends that will make you just as happy as your other group once did. My advice to us both is to let new friendships form as naturally as possible, but sometimes to take the initiative ourselves and invite other people to see us outside of school. I've always found that that's the clearest way to transform an acquaintanceship into a friendship. I wish you all the best with future friendships and with letting your former ones go. I know it's tough.

 

[Drake Marino]

It's always deeply saddened me to see a friendship that looked so promising fail to withstand a seemingly undemanding test, but people do tend to go their separate ways and it soon feels as though you're next friend is going to be a lifelong soulmate. I have just recently left high school and have basically lost contact with everyone in my year who I thought was close to me.

Drake, I have a feeling that in a few months you and I will have a new group of friends that will make you just as happy as your other group once did. My advice to us both is to let new friendships form as naturally as possible, but sometimes to take the initiative ourselves and invite other people to see us outside of school. I've always found that that's the clearest way to transform an acquaintanceship into a friendship. I wish you all the best with future friendships and with letting your former ones go. I know it's tough.

Your optimism has rubbed off on me a bit. Thanks a lot. I've just got to keep on trying to establish social contact and build friendships, as social isolation is quite detrimental to one's health.