Lot of pain currently.

[Aspychata]

The person l like is standoffish. (Not a real word)
And l am having to stop calling and texting. Lot of times l have purposely derailed our relationship because l feel so helpless around him. He just creates a wealth of emotions and l feel useless.

Any help in slowly forgetting about this beautiful man? It was doomed because of me. Now l hate myself horribly.

 

[Sunny1]

I'm sorry you are in pain like this. Unfortunately, I know of no magic cure. You could try doing something relaxing that will take all of your focus. For me that is something like pastel painting because it is so body driven that it is a whole sensory experience. It helps me when I need to get out of my head.

 

[Aspychata]

I like that suggestion of getting out of myself.

 

[AprilR]

I am sorry you are experiencing this. Just remind yourself that this is a temporary feeling.

 

[Aspychata]

I'm sorry you are in pain like this. Unfortunately, I know of no magic cure. You could try doing something relaxing that will take all of your focus. For me that is something like pastel painting because it is so body driven that it is a whole sensory experience. It helps me when I need to get out of my head.

Maybe you are right. My title should be how to get out of my head. Just emotions with this particular man stump me. It's always been that way. The passion l have is TNT for this particular man. But in a good way.

 

[Orange Glasses]

I am sorry that you are feeling this way Aspychata. I think most of us know what it is like to be attracted to someone, but the feeling is not mutual. Sometimes this is actually a blessing as the initial newness of the relationship cools off and you start to realize that it was most likely not the best match.

Please remember to love and take care of yourself.

I know you are going to be just fine.

 

[AprilR]

I like this quote even though i am not familiar with" welcome to night vale":

Sometimes you go through things that seem huge at the time, like a mysterious glowing cloud devouring your entire community. While they're happening they feel like the only thing that matters, and you can hardly imagine that there’s a world out there that might have anything else going on. And then the Glow Cloud moves on. And you move on. And the event is behind you. And you may find that, as time passes, you remember it less and less—or not at all, in my case. And you are left with nothing but a powerful wonder at the fleeting nature of even the most important things in life, and the faint, but pretty, smell of vanilla.

 

[Slim Jim]

We have all felt low, but then we have to pick ourselves back together again, and look at what we have in our lives, which makes us feel good.

You know, for a moment there I thought this was gonna be some kind of physical ailment thread. Emotional pain is basically when reality doesn't meet up to what we want it to be. Change your expectations, you change your emotions.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Your strong negative feelings are understandable when there is a sense of loss. Please do not beat yourself up over this. I have not had such an experience for so long, but now, when I feel triggered towards negative emotions about myself, I have found ways to calm myself. With summer here I will sit out on the porch with a G&T, take a few breaths, and think of good things that I have done and watch the hummingbirds and pollinators in the rock garden. Sometimes it is getting in my little MR-2 and just enjoy the feeling of the world flowing around me (I do not drive aggressively then, since the object is to chill out.)

I wish you all the best.

 

[Rodafina]

The person l like is standoffish. (Not a real word)
And l am having to stop calling and texting. Lot of times l have purposely derailed our relationship because l feel so helpless around him. He just creates a wealth of emotions and l feel useless.

Any help in slowly forgetting about this beautiful man? It was doomed because of me. Now l hate myself horribly.

Something physical and even a bit aggressive to really tire you out? I have no idea what you like, but I’m thinking like kickboxing, dancing, pillow fighting, things that really get your body moving.

It’s just an idea I wanted to add because, like others here have said, I understand, too. This kind of pain is so very hard.

 

[Aspychata]

Thank you everybody. All beautiful support.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thank you everybody. All beautiful support.

You are welcome. You are one of the first I noticed when I started here over a year ago.
(added) I like this, from Contact:
"You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other."

You are always read by me, and another, that I have not seen here in a while, is @Suzette . I always liked her inciteful and measured responses.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Something physical and even a bit aggressive to really tire you out? I have no idea what you like, but I’m thinking like kickboxing, dancing, pillow fighting, things that really get your body moving.

This is a really good idea. It doesn't heal everything, but getting into the habit of getting those good-vibes flowing through you on a daily basis can really help with your resilience to life's stressors and low points.

I read somewhere that if you were to encapsulate all of exercise's benefits into a pill, it would be the greatest drug known to man. Honestly, I don't think this is hyperbole, because when you actually consider all of the physical and emotional benefits, it's basically a miracle drug.

 

[VictorR]

I am reminded of how Forrest Gump literally runs away from his troubles, and sometimes I do that too - just leave it all out there on the pavement. It gives you something to focus on, burns off some energy and exercise is a good appetite suppressor, so that can help fend off the binge eating that we sometimes get into when we're sad.

*virtual hug*

 

[androidysphoria]

The person l like is standoffish. (Not a real word)
And l am having to stop calling and texting. Lot of times l have purposely derailed our relationship because l feel so helpless around him. He just creates a wealth of emotions and l feel useless.

Any help in slowly forgetting about this beautiful man? It was doomed because of me. Now l hate myself horribly.

i’m sorry i can’t offer better advice but something that helps me is physically being in a different place if you can. if you usually message him from a specific place in your house then perhaps try hanging out in a different spot or sitting in your backyard while you use your phone. i hope you feel better and i’m really sorry because the feeling is terrible to feel. i don’t think you should hate yourself though, because pain between two people is hardly ever exclusively because of one person.

 

[Fino]

Radical acceptance of the situation, if you can achieve it, should ease the pain at least a little.

 

[Primrose]

I'm sorry, that situation sounds tough. Not sure what's the best way to let go but usually I find it best to end contact with the person, at least for awhile. Then, I focus my attention on something else and think about him as little as possible.

Hope you are feeling a little better today.