Make a xmas jingle and post it!

[Aspychata]

Snowbells are ringing
As my brain is fleeing

Eggnog is deleting
My tension and seething

What a beautiful night for a good family fight
In this winter wonderland

Try not to mock my scrawny Xmas tree
The angel resting atop is gender free

While credit card bills leave me popping pills
In my winter wonderland

Fried a turkey for that dinner party
Burnt my house down, not sorry

My winter wonderland
Needs a script of klonipin now
Healing finally can begin.

Wrote this last winter.
Sang to winter wonderland song.

 

[Metalhead]

Deck the halls with gasoline
Light a match and watch it gleem
Burn the school down into ashes
Aren’t you glad I played with matches?

Ok, I remember that song being popular with the school kids 35 years ago. I imagine if a group of kids sang that today, they would be placed on a FBI watchlist.

 

[Aspychata]

A

 

[Metalhead]

Look up Eazy-E’s Christmas song. I can’t even say the name of that song on these forums.

 

[Nitro]

Jingle Bells

Running thru the shop
With a rusty old penknife
Out to slit a throat
Trying to take a life

They bucked him on his raise
Lying never pays
Now lizard man will get revenge
For all those long hard days
Chorus
Repeat 2 x


Ohhhh, jingle bells sumpin' smells
Lizzie crapped his pants
They turned his mach-ine up so high
That it began to dance
Jingle bells sumpin' smells
Lizzie's in a trance....

This was actually based on a true story where our supervisor wanted the old buzzard to quit because he came to work late on a daily basis and scrapped most of his work, so he denied him a raise he asked for then would dial his huge lathe he ran up to scary fast when he went to lunch.

We used to torment the old buzzard for being late all the time by poking a hole in the styrofoam coffee cups so they would dribble coffee down his arm and all over his workbench.
It got to the point where anyone that worked there knew that there were holes in the first 6 cups until the day Lizzie brought a new ceramic mug in.
My super and I special ordered a diamond drill and set up a water coolant machine so we could drill a hole in it just to piss him off even more.
Bob was going to kill him with his rusty penknife over it

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My favorite from Walt Kelly and Pogo is:

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don’t we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker ‘n’ too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, ‘lope with you!

Hunky Dory’s pop is lolly,
Gaggin’ on the wagon, Willy, folly go through!
Chollie’s collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarm bung-a-loo!

Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an’ polly voo!
Chilly Filly’s name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly’s jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!

 

[Slime_Punk]

Look up Macabre - Holidays of Horror

It's based on a true story, but considering these types of posts get removed I won't post the lyrics here

 

[SusanLR]

I saw three ships come sailing in,
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
The rains came down and Frosty drown,
On Christmas day that morning.

The boats I saw, went to Mardi Gras,
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
In New Orleans, the silence screams,
On Christmas day in the morning.

The boats came down and sailed around,
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
They disappeared and were never found,
In the Bermuda triangle without warning,
On Christmas day that morning.

 

[LadyS]

My son is obsessed with Disney's Frozen so made this Elsa's ode to Xmas with the latest weather:

"The weather outside's delightful.
But the fire is so so frightful.
Buried under 10 feet of snow.
Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go!"

 

[Mr. Stevens]

As my brain is fleeing

You summed up the holiday season for me, Chata.

 

[Aspychata]